What to Look For in a Relationship: 15 Keys to Romantic Bliss

Knowing what to look for in a relationship isn’t easy. But there are few qualities that make all the difference between a perfect romance and a failed one.

The little details when it comes to knowing what to look for in a relationship really is not that easy to figure out. What do you really want? Most of the time, we’re not quite sure ourselves until we start dating and looking at different characteristics.

More often than not, we get an idea of what we don’t want pretty quickly, which isn’t a bad thing. But now it’s time to look at the positive qualities you want in a partner. When I first started dating, I really didn’t know what I wanted, and it took me a while to see who I wanted as a partner. It’s no small task.

[Read: Dating checklist – How to make one and how it can benefit your life]

What to look for in a relationship

If you really want to choose the right partner, it’s going to take some trial and error. If you manage to meet the love of your life on your first date, good for you! For other people, it may take a couple of hits and misses until you start to see what you want.

[Read: What does a healthy relationship look like and your guide to build one]

You’re reading this now, so when it comes to learning what to look for in a relationship, you’re ready to start taking it more seriously. If you’re not sure what you want, don’t worry. I’m going to give you some traits to help you get started on your dating journey. No one is perfect; we all have our flaws, but these are universal traits to look for.

You deserve a healthy relationship.

#1 You feel you can be yourself. When you’re around someone who you think may be a good partner for you, the most important thing is that you can be yourself around them. You don’t need to change how you look or act around them. They accept you for who you are, flaws included, and you’re the most comfortable when next to them.

#2 They can compromise. If you don’t have a partner who can compromise, you’re going to be in trouble. A relationship is about two people coming together, so there are going to be many times when you both want different things. This is when compromising plays an important role. [Read: What you shouldn’t ever compromise on in a relationship]

#3 Similar sense of humor. There’s so much drama in the world; you need someone beside you who can make you laugh. A sense of humor is very important and usually underrated when it comes to traits people look for. You want to enjoy your life with your partner; it shouldn’t feel like a soap opera.

#4 They actively listen. You don’t want someone who’s just going to say “uh, yeah,” or “cool” every time you say something. You want your partner to actively listen to you and respond. Or else why are you even in a relationship? You might as well date a rock. [Read: 14 little changes that really improve communication in a relationship]

#5 How do they treat the opposite sex? This is pretty important. Look at how they treat people of the opposite gender. How do they treat women? How do they treat men? Next, how do they treat their own parents? This can tell you a lot about their mentality. And this is something that can bring up a lot of red flags if you’re paying attention.

#6 They’re into conflict resolution. There’s no point fighting for the sake of fighting. With every argument, you want to come to resolution. If your partner is someone who walks away during an argument or ignores you for days, that’s a problem. You want someone who can sit down and talk about the problem with you. [Read: How stonewalling in a relationship can ruin something precious]

#7 They understand your love language. We all have different ways we express our love and feelings to other people. You don’t need to have the same love language, but you do need to understand how your partner shows their love and vice versa.

#8 Similar lifestyles. If you like living in the city, and they want to live in the country, well, this could become a problem. You want to find someone who enjoys a similar lifestyle to you and sees the same thing in their future. This will knock out many future arguments when it comes to marriage, kids, and where you want to live. [Read: 50 relationship questions to instantly test your compatibility]

#9 They are emotionally mature. This is usually what most people complain about when trying to find a partner. And this isn’t easy to find. Many people lack emotional maturity and are unable to grow from their past relationships. [Read: How the foundations of a relationship can separate the good from the bad]

#10 They appreciate independence. One problem many people have when they’re in relationships is that they feel they need to do everything with their partner. But being independent is extremely important, and you want a partner who likes doing things on their own and values their independence.

#11 They’re empathetic. When it comes to knowing what to look for in a relationship, empathy is one of the big guns. If your partner isn’t able to understand how you feel, then that’s going to become a problem. You want a partner who can understand and communicate with you. This will help you understand yourself better and also become more vulnerable. [Read: The characteristics of people that lack empathy and suck your energy out]

#12 They’re honest. Oh, yes! Who doesn’t want an honest partner? This is a crucial trait you want your partner to have. If they’re not honest with you, then this isn’t someone you can build a relationship with. If they’re not honest now, they won’t be honest later on.

#13 They want to grow. Having a partner is more than just having someone to sleep next to you in bed. You want your partner to grow with you. You want them to push themselves and bloom next to you. And you should grow beside them as well. But this only works if you both want to grow. 

#14 They’re consistent. You don’t want a partner that’s going to go in and out of your life, ghosting you one day, and then come back acting as if nothing happened. You want a partner who’s consistent, and when they say they’re going to doing something or say something, they actually do it. It’s important that they show you they’re in the relationship fully. [Read: What is commitment in a relationship? How do you know if you have it?]

#15 Self-responsibility. This is really a trait that shows maturity and growth. You want your partner to take responsibility for their actions towards themselves and you. They’re aware of what they do and how it affects the people around them, so they make sure to really think before they act.

[Read: The seven biggest clues that point to emotional immaturity]

It’s hard to find someone to be with, but don’t just settle for anyone. You need to understand and remember what to look for in a relationship with someone you can grow with.