13 Types of Affairs People Have & the Reasons Behind Each of Them

We like to use the word affair to describe cheating. There are different types of affairs that people have. It’s time you learned the different types.

Maybe you’ve had an affair, or you know your partner is having one. You want to understand what’s actually going on. Well, a good place to start is by knowing the types of affairs that can occur.

Once you know the different types, you can narrow it down and pinpoint exactly what led to this type of affair.

13 types of affairs you need to know

We love to use the word ‘affair’ to describe someone who’s cheated on their partner. Most of us don’t know how layered the word ‘affair’ actually is. An affair can sprout from several different reasons and can be different things. This is just the first part.

[Read: 9 practical steps to rebuild trust in a relationship after one of you cheated]

Next, you both should self-reflect and understand the root cause of why either of you had an affair. Maybe it’s something you should overcome or maybe not. But it’s never too late to grow and develop, even after a mistake.

By knowing the different types of affairs, together you can address internal issues. It’ll be a hard process but will bring you clarity and understanding. So, let’s get started. There’s more than just one way people cheat.

#1 One-night affair. This is an affair that happens when two people are sexually attracted to each other and have sex. Maybe during a business trip or party where two people are unlikely to ever see each other again. It’s a one-time event that is, if anything, out of convenience. [Read: 12 signs of infidelity that can lead you to a real affair]

#2 Revenge affair. Well, this is an intense affair. When someone has been cheated on, they’re angry. So, the revenge affair gets back at their partner for cheating on them. They seek someone to have sex with, only to hurt their partner. The person they sleep with is usually a co-worker or close friend. It’s “an eye for an eye” concept but with sex instead. 

#3 Emotional affair. An emotional affair is one that most people refer to when they say the word ‘affair.’ This is based on an emotional connection with someone who isn’t your partner. They pick someone outside of the relationship to bond with. Though this isn’t always a physical affair, it usually leads to one. [Read: Emotional affairs and the irreparable damage it can cause on your love life]

#4 Lustful affair. For people who engage in lustful affairs, it’s only about sex. There aren’t any emotional connections or attachments; it usually consists of rage or infatuation. It can happen with different partners, not just one. These people must have sex right now, and cannot be satisfied any other way.

#5 In-charge affair. When it comes to in-charge affairs, both or one person in the relationship is looking for the chance to exert dominance over the other. These people usually work in high-stress jobs where they have many responsibilities. It’s similar to role playing characters such as the teacher and student, the doctor and patient, etc.

#6 Pursuing affair. When we’re single and dating, everyone is looking for the chase, the game that brings the excitement of trying to be with someone. And this is a pursuing affair. They want to be chased or chase another person, feeling the thrill and excitement. Now, this doesn’t always end up being a physical affair; it can be purely emotional. [Read: The right way to handle a crush when you’re already in a relationship]

#7 Compulsive affair. A compulsive affair isn’t one where the person wants to escape their relationship or falls for someone else. This affair is based on their need to engage with another person. Their thoughts are sex-driven, and they hunt for the opportunity to have sex with someone else, anyone else.

#8 Opportune affair. They didn’t necessarily plan to have an affair; instead, the moment came up, and they took advantage of it. This usually happens with close friends and family members, as these are trusted people, and the time spent together is relaxed and comforting. [Read: Are you – or should you be – worried about your cheating fantasy?] 

#9 Escape affair. There are some people who can’t end a relationship. They feel the only way out is by having an affair. They’re unable to end things normally and feel their only way to end their current relationship is an affair as a gateway to freedom. Simply because they’re unable to confront the situation head-on.

#10 Thrilling affair. These types of affairs happen when someone wants excitement and thrill in their life. Whatever’s going on in their life right now isn’t bringing them the satisfaction they’re looking for. They want spontaneity. They want adventure. And this affair brings it, but also comes with its fair share of drama.

#11 Superglue affair. When you think of superglue, two objects are stuck together tightly, and that’s what this affair is. It is extremely intense and hard to break. Both people in the affair believe they were made for each other and feel they were destined to be together. Even when they end the affairs, they end up drifting back together. [Read: What is a karmic connection and how to recognize them in your life]

#12 Fictional affair. Most people think affairs happen physically, but that’s not always the case. Some people live an affair that’s a complete fantasy. They imagine intimacy with this person and feel connected to them without any foundation. Typically, people who are obsessed with celebrities or porn have these fantasy affairs.

#13 Naive affair. We all know those affairs. These affairs happen when someone believes the other person will leave their significant other in exchange for them. We all know this rarely happens in real life. Usually, what happens is one person in the affair gets strung along until they hit a breaking point. [Read: How to let go of your fear of being alone and find peace] 

What to do now

You now have the chance to figure out what type of affair you or your partner had. From there, dig deeper and figure out what drove you or your partner to have an affair. Then you can fix the underlying issue whether you stay with your partner or not.

[Read: Here’s how to survive infidelity without tearing apart]

It’s hard to overcome cheating in a relationship. Whether you stay with your partner or not, explore the root cause of these types of affairs to ensure it doesn’t happen in future relationships.