Loving a Narcissist: How to Tell If You’ve Fallen for a Narcissist

Loving a narcissist isn’t exactly what your mother had in mind when she said to find a partner. But how do you know you’re in a narcissistic relationship?

You’ve probably heard people describe former friends and exes as narcissistic, but what does that even mean? Of course, we all have our selfish moments, there’s no question about that, but does that make someone narcissistic? We’re going to break down what it means to really be loving a narcissist.

[Confession: A relationship with a narcissist and what it really means to love one]

Loving a narcissist? 14 clearest signs to know if you’re in love with one

Narcissism gets thrown around endlessly but is not necessarily true. So, it’s time to get things straight and really figure out if you’re in a narcissistic relationship or not. The hard part about narcissistic relationships is that even though they’re difficult, they’re also rewarding.

Let’s be honest; you probably wouldn’t stay in this relationship if it didn’t provide you with some sort of gratification. So, if you are in a narcissistic relationship, you’re not in it because you’re insane.

[Read: Understanding what it means to be in a relationship with a narcissist]

Many people are attracted to narcissists for various reasons; they’re extremely charming and alluring.

Now if your partner is a narcissist, I don’t know if you want to stay in the relationship or not. We’ll save that topic for a different day. Though, what’s important is seeing the person your partner is and deciding from there if it’s something you want in your life or not.

Better to know now than later if you’re loving a narcissist. [Read: How to help a narcissist change for the better]

#1 They lack empathy. Let’s just say; they’re not the most empathetic people around. There are times when a narcissist does feel empathy or at least pretends to feel empathy, but, at the end of the day, they don’t. Usually, if they show empathy, it’s at their own interest. But they’re not sociopaths who display zero empathy. [Read: The 7 reasons why empathy is so important in a relationship] 

#2 They need constant praise. A narcissist is someone, who, deep down, suffers from extremely low self-esteem. This is why they behave the way they do. And once you know this all stems from self-esteem, you understand their behavior. So, they require constant praise and compliments, even if they didn’t necessarily deserve it.

#3 Your needs are ignored. Everyone has needs. We’re only human. When you have a partner, they should compromise with you, and you work together to meet each other’s needs. But, when someone is narcissistic, they’re not looking to fulfill your needs. If anything, they don’t even see you have needs. [Read: 16 clear signs you’re in a narcissistic relationship]

#4 They’re extremely charismatic. Why do you think you *possibly* fell in love with one? Narcissistic people aren’t boring; they’re extremely charismatic and attractive. Initially, they load you up with tons of attention and compliments, slowly pulling you in. And by that time, well, it’s too late, and you’ve fallen for them. 

#5 They’re control freaks. When someone is a narcissist, they must control the situations happening around them. If not, there’s a chance they’ll feel inferior and be unable to “shine” in the situation. A narcissist never wants to look stupid or unaware of what’s going on around them.

#6 They love good competition. The only catch is they compete for everything and anything. A narcissist needs to be the best at everything they do. Their feelings of envy are pathological. When other people lose and become angry, this brings satisfaction to them as they know they won.

#7 They love to complain. Their middle name should be ‘complain’ because when it comes to narcissists, that’s what they do best. Their expectations are extremely high when it concerns other people, so naturally, they’re constantly let down by others as no one can achieve their expectations. [Read: What causes narcissism? The facts and theories to recognize these people]

#8 Their actions don’t match their words. They’re not people who follow through with what they say. They have poor communication skills and never match their words with their actions. If you believe you’re with a narcissist, always focus on their actions rather than their words. The truth will show itself quickly. 

#9 The rules are based on their comfort level. They will never do something that is outside of their comfort level, as it makes them look weak. A narcissist will always stay within their personal boundaries, regardless of how you feel. This is why they control the situations around them. [Read: The biggest and most obvious signs of a controlling person] 

#10 They don’t take responsibility. By taking responsibility, it means they made a mistake, and whatever they did is their fault. That’ll never happen to a narcissist. Whatever the case may be, they will transfer the blame onto someone else, and make sure it’s far away from them.

#11 They’re very entitled. If there’s one person who feels they should have it all, it’s a narcissist. Even when they haven’t done much to deserve anything, they expect the world to be delivered to them on a silver platter. They’re always right; they always think they’re smarter than everyone else. [Read: Why do narcissist ignore texts and do the selfish things they do]

#12 They don’t take criticism lightly. If there’s one thing you can’t do, it’s criticize your narcissistic partner. If you do, they take it as an attack on their being instead of feedback. If you do give constructive feedback, it’s usually reversed and used against you, making you look like the bad guy.

#13 They love a good catfight. If there’s one thing a narcissist loves its drama. But they don’t want the drama around them. Instead, they enjoy pitting people against each other and admiring the fight go down. They’ll spread rumors and turn people against each other, making sure it ignites a fight. [Read: How to tell if someone is a narcissist and recognize them instantly] 

#14 Check yourself. After all is said and done, how do you feel? Do you identify your partner with these traits? If so, knowing what you know now, what’s your reaction? It’s important to always check in with yourself and see if your partner is benefiting your life. If not, make some changes.

[Read: The crucial tips to help you know how to live with a narcissist]

After looking at the signs, what do you think? Are you someone who’s loving a narcissist? A better question is, what are you going to do about it?