80 Dating Questions to Ask Them Before You Get Past the Talking Stage

If you’re not sure what to talk about when you meet someone for the first time, try these fun dating questions. It’s a great way to get to know someone.  

Dates can be either the most exciting or the most stomach-churning experience a person can have while trying to get to know someone. That’s where good-old dating questions come into play. Nothing fills awkward silences more than flirty, curious dating questions.

The best part? You come off as the perfect date – attentive and completely interested in what your potential partner has to say. All the while, you’re secretly compiling a mental list and reasons why you should or shouldn’t continue to date this person.

It’s fun and brilliant all at the same time. Without further ado, here are the best dating questions to ask your partner before you decide whether or not you want to get serious and get past the talking stage of dating. [Read: 60 get-to-know-you questions for a new romance]

Questions about trust and fundamentals

First up is the fundamentals. These will help you to determine whether you could date this person seriously, or if your ideals are too far apart for your liking.

These questions cover life goals and personal beliefs. Make sure your questions are asked with genuine curiosity – even bordering on flirtation – otherwise the person you’re dating might start to feel like this is more of an interrogation than a fun night out. [Read: 50 relationship questions to test your compatibility instantly] 

Here are the categories that are really important to figure out before you get serious with someone.

1. Marriage and kids

If your goal is to get married and have children, you should make that clear in the beginning. On the flip side, if you don’t want to do those things, then let them know that too.

These topics are not compatible. You can’t be half-married and have half-kids. It’s all or nothing, so it’s vital that you are both on the same page. [Read: 22 marriage myths people blindly believe that ruin love forever]

2. Gender roles

Sure, this isn’t the 1950s anymore, but some people believe in traditional gender roles, and some don’t. So, if you’re a woman and you want to be a stay-at-home mom once you have children and quit your career, that’s an important thing to tell them.

Or, if you’re a man and want your wife to do that or you prefer her to be a career woman, then that’s crucial to know.

3. Life goals

Some people are quite content to just work a minimum-wage job and not climb the corporate ladder. While others are very ambition, career-oriented, and even money-oriented.

If you are mismatched with your life goals, then one or both of you will grow resentful of the other.

4. Finances

Similar to life goals is finances. If you like to spend a lot of money and don’t like to save much, then that’s a big part of who you are.

Having a saver and a spender in a relationship doesn’t work out very well. They are constantly angry at the other one for not handling the money the way they think they should. [Read: What to do if your partner makes less money than you]

5. Living arrangements

Knowing if your date has ever lived with a romantic partner is something you should know too. Maybe they’ve been married, but maybe not.

If someone has been single most of their life and prefers living alone, then that is something you should know upfront.

6. Extended family

How close are they to their parents and siblings? This will give you a sense of how they grew up and how family-oriented they are.

If they are alienated from their family, you might want to figure out why. You also have to be compatible with your family values and how involved extended family will be involved in your life if you become a couple

7. Religion

Religion is a big one. If one of you is an atheist and one is a Christian, that might not work out very well.

Even if one of you is a Christian and one is a Muslim, well, these religions have very different ways of looking at the world. It’s best to have similar faiths to your partner. It’s not a requirement, because it depends on each individual’s preferences, but it’s better to be more similar than different. [Read: 196 fun and deep relationship questions to test how like-minded you are]

8. Personality characteristics

There are a lot of personality characteristics that can cause problems in relationships. If one is an extrovert and wants to go out and socialize all the time and the other is an introvert and a homebody, then that could be an issue.

Even their temperaments and how easily they get angry or annoyed with life are something that should be discussed.

Questions to ask about the fundamentals

Now that you know the importance of these categories, here are some specific questions you can ask.

[Read: 71 friendly, funny questions to get to know someone in a happy way]

1. Do you want kids?

2. *If yes* how many?

3. Do you think both partners should work?

4. Where do you see yourself in five years?

5. Do you believe in shared bank accounts?

6. Have you ever lived with someone before?

7. Have you ever been in love?

8. Do you believe in God? [Read: 20 questions to ask on a first date for the best conversation]

9. Do you want to get married?

10. Are you close to your family?

11. Do you want any pets?

12. How important is your job?

13. What are your biggest life goals?

14. Do you intend to travel much in life?

15. What really irritates you?

16. Are you an angry person?

17. Are you a text person or a phone call person?

18. Are you religious? [Read: Dating in your 30s? 13 changes you’ll have to prepare for]

19. Is race important to you?

20. Have you ever been addicted to anything?

21. Are holidays important to you?

22. What city do you want to live in?

[Read: 15 of the most memorable things to do on a first date]

Questions about love, sex, and past relationships

The next dating questions are the biggies about sex and past lovers. Sex is huge in a relationship and depending on how your partner answers these questions, you’re either going to leave very turned on or very disappointed.

Sneakily slipping in relationship questions also gives you an idea of what your partner was like before you, and how they treated *or mistreated* their ex-loves.

It’s important to know the kind of relationships they had in the past so that you know what they expect.

For example, if they have only had toxic relationships, then there is a reason they keep choosing those kinds of people. They could have low self-esteem and believe they deserve to be treated badly. [Read: Retroactive jealousy – Is your partner’s past making you jealous?]

Another thing to watch out for is how they talk about their exes. You can ask why some of them broke up. Listen very carefully to their responses.

For example, if they blame every one of their breakups on all of their exes, that means they can’t take personal responsibility for their actions and they always blame other people This is not someone you want to be in a relationship with.

Sex questions also give you a great idea of what to expect when you guys finally dive between the sheets.

If they’re honest with their answers, you’ll be able to see a potential dreamboat *or maybe just a red flag!* alerts. [Read: 50 questions to check if someone’s right for you]

It is very important to know about their sexual preferences. If one of you wants to have sex multiple times a day and one wants to do it a few times a year, then you won’t be compatible.

Even things like their level of wanting to be adventurous in bed or try kinky things can be a make-or-break issue in your relationship if you choose to become a couple.

Just remember not to ask all these dating questions in one sitting or you might start to sound like a desperate daisy!

23. What’s the best date you’ve ever been on?

24. What’s the worst date you’ve ever had?

25. Have you ever cheated on a partner?

26. Have you ever had a threesome?

27. What’s been your best relationship?

28. What’s been your worst breakup?

29. What’s your biggest sexual fantasy? [Read: 30 fun, free, and sexy dating ideas that are totally worth trying]

30. Do you get bored after you sleep with someone for the first time?

31. Do you use condoms/are you on birth control?

32. Have you ever had an STD?

33. Are you circumcised? [Read: Sex with an uncircumcised man – Myths and all]

34. Do you have any children?

35. Have you ever been married?

36. If so, how many times?

37. When’s the last time you were tested?

38. What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done in the bedroom?

39. Do you use sex toys?

40. Are you a jealous person? [Read: Are we dating? Read these 17 signs then ask no more]

41. Do you believe men and women can be just friends?

42. What was your longest relationship?

43. What makes you feel sexiest?

44. Are you into anal sex?

45. What’s better… kissing or hugging? [Read: 40 dirty would you rather questions to ask your lover]

46. Do you ever have sex dreams?

47. What would qualify as the “best sex ever!”?

48. When’s the first time you remember being turned on?

49. Are you a big flirt?

50. What’s your favorite part of a woman/man? [Read: Drawing a blank? Try these 25 good conversation starters]

Fun get-to-know-you questions

If you’re not up for deep conversations about life and love, these dating questions are for you. They’re fun and silly while still helping you to get to know one another.

These dating questions are also fantastic ice breakers regardless of the subject matter. Here are 29 fun dating questions to ask.

51. What is too serious to joke about?

52. How often do you like to text/receive texts from your partner?

53. Are you a glass-half-full or glass-half-empty kind of person? [Read: 30 deep questions to ask someone before you get in too far]

54. What’s the best present you’ve ever given someone?

56. What’s the best present you ever received?

57. Do you laugh in awkward situations?

58. Do you laugh every day?

59. What’s harder to do, sacrifice or share?

60. What is your blood type?

61. What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? [Read: 36 random, funny questions for flirty guys and girls]

62. What is your heritage?

63. What’s your favorite type of music?

64. When did you first learn to drive? *Follow up: Did you pass your first in-car exam?*

65. Have you ever been in an accident?

66. What are 5 characteristics that make up a positive person?

67. Overprotective… or live and let live?

68. Would you eat a plate of maggots for a million dollars?

69. Do you have a favorite word?

70. If you had to eat the same meal every day for the rest of your life, what would it be?

71. What do you want to do when you retire?

72. What’s your favorite joke?

73. What’s the worst injury you ever sustained?

74. What did you want to be when you were a little kid?

75. Did you ever go to college/university? [Read: 87 fun “this or that” questions about sex, life, and food]

76. If someone disagrees with you, what’s your usual reaction?

77. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter?

78. When do you usually like to go to bed?

79. When do you wake up in the morning?

80. Are you more logical or more creative?

The best kind of dating questions that bring you both closer

Some people might think that asking potential partners these dating questions is a bit extreme.

You don’t have to whip out a piece of paper with all the questions on it, but you should have the important ones ready to go when you are on a date.

[Read: 50 cheeky, personal questions to ask someone you like]

Who you decide to crown your official boyfriend or girlfriend is a big deal! We hope these dating questions can help you seal the deal on whether or not the person you’re dating is relationship-worthy.