38 Truths & Tips to Make a Relationship Work & Build a Much Stronger Bond

Need some advice on how to make a relationship work? These creative ways will help you deepen the bond with your partner!

Relationships take work. You might know that, but knowing how to make a relationship work and go the distance is something we’ve all wondered about.

All relationships go through different stages. There are ups and downs, times when you feel unbearably in love, and others when you struggle to find reasons to be together.

You journey through honeymoon periods, bad patches, and everything in between, and it can be hard to know how to navigate that.

So why is it that some relationships seem to be able to navigate their way through the highs and lows far better than others? Why do some relationships make it through the tough times, and even emerge stronger than ever, while others crumble at the very first sign of trouble? Read on to find out.

[Read: 50 secrets and early signs of a good relationship that make a great one]

Why do relationships require work?

To some people, it might be a surprise to discover that all the hard work doesn’t stop once you find your “happily ever after.” Fairytales might have you believe that, but really, those tales just end before the princes and princesses struggle with arguments, compromises, annoying in-laws, and infidelity.

But it’s true, the hard work doesn’t stop when the relationship officially progresses from dating to exclusive.

After you’re done waiting a few extra seconds to reply to texts, counting down the dates until you can get physical, staring at your phone waiting for a callback, and all the other dating games, the work’s not over yet.

That’s because people have needs that only a partner can meet. And no, we’re not only talking about sexual needs. A partner is supposed to be there to meet your emotional needs.

Not only that, but life continues to happen around you, no matter how perfect your relationship feels. That means you’ll have hardships and obstacles you’ll have to cross together, which can be extremely difficult, and even fatal, for relationships.

How to make a relationship work

In many relationships, when they hit a rough patch, people need help and advice to keep them on the right track. And many still don’t know how to work out whether their relationship is worth it, withstanding the anger, upset, or feelings of loneliness, and manage to stick it out until things get better again.

Just what secret do these long-lasting relationships have that makes them work? These 38 safeguards ensure you make your relationship work.

1. Know that it’s worth it

Sometimes the healthiest thing you do for your relationship is to think about whether it’s worth it.

No matter how long you’ve gone out, or how much you don’t want to split up, really sit down and assess whether you are willing and ready to put all the effort in to make the relationship work.

Is this something you’re prepared to do? If it’s yes, that’s the first step in knowing how to make a relationship work. It’s all about whether the two of you are willing to make the effort for each other. [Read: How to know if your relationship is worth keeping]

2. Accept that you’ll fight

Everyone has disagreements in a relationship. It’s normal. Don’t stress too much if you and your partner fight or bicker from time to time.

It’s how you handle those fights and how often you have them that you need to pay attention to. [Read: Relationship arguments – 38 tips and ways to fight fair and grow closer in love]

3. Communicate well

Relationships are all about good communication. If you want to talk about something, don’t bottle it up. Talk to your partner in a calm and rational way. And when they want to talk to you, make sure you listen too. [Read: 19 ways to be a much better listener in a relationship and read their mind]

4. Be understanding

We all have bad days, days where we are tired or grumpy for no particular reason. Often our partner bears the brunt of that. If it happens to you, try to be understanding, rather than defensive.

5. Know yourself

Knowing what you want and what you expect from a relationship is so important when it comes to knowing how to make a relationship work.

The clearer you are within yourself and the more self-assured you are, the better your relationship will be. [Read: 45 truths and real questions to get to know yourself on a much deeper level]

6. Know when to step back

Sometimes you need to give each other some space. Don’t be afraid to do this. It may scare you to think about distancing yourself and giving your partner time away from you, but it can actually be the thing that saves your relationship.

Giving each other space can be very helpful to let things cool down after an argument, or even just to remember how much you value and miss the other person.

But also, when you don’t spend 24/7 with each other, you’ll find that the time you do spend together is better and you have so much more to talk about. [Read: 15 ways to give space in a relationship and feel closer than ever before]

7. Be independent

Do things by yourself, have separate interests and hobbies, and go out with friends. This keeps things fresh and interesting between you two, and you’ll have more respect for one another.

Anyway, this relationship isn’t your whole life, so you shouldn’t be putting everything else on hold just for this one person. [Read: Spirited steps to be independent in a relationship and love better]

8. Don’t be jealous

Jealousy tears relationships apart. Be confident enough in your relationship not to let this be a factor. If you are feeling jealous, really analyze your feelings from an unbiased perspective.

Are you jealous because your partner has been really, really friendly with someone else? Are you just assuming that they’re cheating on you when they take longer than a minute to reply to your text? Or have they told you about their dating past, and you’re feeling jealous of all their ex-partners?

If you think you actually have good reason to doubt your partner’s actions, that’s a whole other story. But don’t let the green-eyed monster tear your relationship apart.

9. Trust

Trust is essential to any relationship. If you don’t trust your partner, you are in serious trouble. Think about why you don’t trust them.

Have they given you a reason not to? If so, address the issue. And if not, then you have your own personal issue to work on. [Read: Trust issues in a relationship – 22 whys and ways to get over it together]

10. Love yourself

Having self-confidence makes you so much more attractive to your partner. But better than that, it helps you to tackle problems easier and love others better.

When you love yourself, you don’t unhealthily depend on others to meet your needs. You don’t panic at the sight of a slight bump in the road. So, make sure to carve out time for yourself and be confident in who you are.

11. Have rules

If you want to know how to make a relationship work, you’re going to have to set some rules. In lots of relationships, rules are unspoken. However, if you have certain expectations, it’s okay to voice these.

Are you a no-porn kind of person? Do you refuse to go to bed angry? It’s important to not only know what rules and boundaries are important to you but also that you share them. Your partner can’t read your mind. [Read: Relationship rules – 30 must-know tips to live your best love life!]

12. Don’t tolerate bad behavior

It can be so easy to get into bad patterns in relationships and suddenly one partner finds themselves full of resentment. If the bad behavior had been called out early on, it would never have gotten to this stage.

So, if something about their behavior upsets you, gently tell them there and then. It’s likely that they didn’t even realize what they were doing was angering you in the first place.

13. Be patient

When learning how to make a relationship work, patience is so important. Sometimes your partner won’t be on the same page as you, and that’s okay. Give them time and hopefully they will come around. [Read: 24 sad signs of an unhealthy relationship that ruin love forever]

14. Know that no one is perfect

Not even you! You’re both going to make mistakes, so try to be sympathetic to one another when you do.

And if you have any ideas about “your type” that are holding you back from progressing to the next relationship stage, let them go. We hate to break it to you, but “your type” isn’t a real, existing person!

15. Be realistic

Your relationship isn’t going to be this fairytale romance. Have realistic expectations of it. Sometimes it won’t be all that glamorous or even romantic. But, it’s the fact that you both decide to stick together, even in the less-than-ideal moments, that really means the most.

And don’t compare your relationship to others either. What looks perfect on the outside might really be a toxic shit show on the inside.

16. Show affection

To make a relationship work and keep that spark alive, you have to be affectionate towards one another. Hold hands, cuddle, and make an effort in the bedroom. Being affectionate helps you feel close to one another. [Read: 49 naughty and freaky sex questions for couples to keep the spark alive]

17. Be romantic

What’s the difference between a partner and a best friend? Romance! So, no matter how long you’ve been together, keep the romance alive.

Go on dates, do sweet things for one another, and flirt with each other like every day is your first date! Romance is the fuel that makes the relationship work.

18. Put your partner first

Your partner’s needs sometimes need to be put above your own needs. Just as they surely put your needs above their own at times. Sometimes, you have to make sacrifices to help them or make them happy. That’s just what a relationship entails.

19. Be loyal

This goes without saying, but you have to stick up for your partner if you actually want the relationship to work. Be loyal to them. [Read: Committed relationship – 59 signs and ways to show your commitment in love]

20. Tell them you love them

Telling someone you love them often is a good way to keep your relationship on the right track. Even if you’ve just had a fight or they’re annoying you, try to tell them you love them anyway. [Read: 47 sweet ways to tell someone you love them with your words and actions]

21. Have some privacy

Sometimes you need to keep things between the two of you. As much as it may feel tempting to vent when your partner is frustrating you, some things just don’t need to be discussed with the world. Make sure some things are kept private, and you’ll always feel closer together.

22. Don’t pressure your partner

Putting your partner under pressure won’t get you anywhere. If you push them into something, either they’ll back off or they’ll do it and resent you for it.

Respect their boundaries, just as you expect them to respect yours. [Read: Boundaries in a relationship – 43 healthy dating rules you MUST set early on]

23. Make time for one another

Make sure you set aside time to go on dates, have nice meals, and just be with one another. Even if you lead really busy lives, having quality time together keeps your relationship strong. [Read: 33 best hobbies for couples to have fun, bond, and feel closer than ever!]

24. Make time for family and friends

While you make time for your partner, also remember there are other important people outside your relationship. They’re also there to support you during tough times, so don’t neglect them!

25. Be each other’s biggest support

Make sure your partner knows you are there for them, and the feeling should be mutual. Be one another’s rock, no matter what.

26. Don’t play games

When you are in a serious relationship, playing games gets you nowhere.

No, they don’t make your partner respect you more. No, they don’t make you more “alpha.” They just make you an unreliable, untrustworthy, and toxic partner. Seriously, don’t be manipulative, just say how you feel.

27. Think of your partner when you make decisions

One of the unspoken secrets of knowing how to make a relationship work is to always consider the other person, especially when making decisions that affect both of you.

How would you feel if your partner made serious relationship and life decisions, like where you two were going to live, without you? Pretty annoyed right? [Read: Selfishness in relationships – 15 tips to do the right thing]

28. See yourself as a unit

Any good relationship works because two people come together and form a unit, a team. Because at the end of the day, that’s what you are.

When you approach conflicts and arguments, remember to do it as a team who’s fighting a problem, not two people fighting each other.

29. Ask questions

Make sure you know what’s going on with your partner. Ask them questions and find out about their life. Don’t neglect to do this. Otherwise, distance starts to form between you. [Read: 250 fun, deep relationship questions for couples to feel closer and more loved]

30. Make an effort

When you first started dating your partner, you surely put a lot of effort into your appearance and your behavior. Sure, that might have been a while ago now. But what, just because you finally “got them,” you think you should just give up?

No matter how long you’ve been together, always try to impress and woo each other. Make an effort to look nice and be nice to your partner. Sometimes it’s the little things that count towards that important spark.

31. Don’t let arguments get out of hand

Everyone will have a massive argument once or twice in a relationship, but in general, try to keep your arguments from getting out of hand. The bigger they get, the harder they are to come back from. [Read: Are relationship fights normal? 15 signs you’re fighting too often]

32. Be honest

Honesty is a big part of a healthy relationship. It fuels good communication habits and gives your partner a reason to trust you. Always be honest with your partner. Keeping secrets from them eats away at you and destroys you both.

33. Never cheat

Cheating is something only a few relationships ever come back from. If you love and respect your partner and want your relationship to work, don’t do it! [Read: Who cheats more? Men, women, and their specific needs to cheat]

34. Compromise

Relationships are all about compromise. You can’t always get what you want, and you need to be willing to accept this.

Relationships take work. If you are not willing to put the effort in and it all seems too much like hard work then maybe it’s time to really think about whether your relationship is worth it.

35. Be emotionally mature

To be in a mature, healthy relationship, you need to be emotionally mature. In essence, this means that you need to not only understand and recognize emotions within yourself, but you need to do that for other people’s emotions as well.

After all, how can you navigate a conflict if you don’t fully understand what you’re feeling or how to express it and you also can’t understand why your partner is reacting the way that they are?

36. Get to know your partner

No matter how long you’ve been with your partner, there’s always something new to learn about them. Even if you’ve been together for decades, there’s no point where you learn everything there is to know about them.

So, don’t assume that you know everything there is to know about them. Instead, ask them questions about their childhood, their likes and dislikes, and their opinions about deep and obscure topics. You’ll be surprised by how much you’ll learn.

37. Set a monthly date night

Most of us would assume that romance has to be spontaneous. And yes, while it can be romantic to be spontaneous, there just isn’t time to be spontaneous in adult life!

Between work, chores, children, or pets, there can be a lot of things that distract our attention away from our partner.

So, to avoid getting swept up in responsibilities and forgetting to put the work into your relationship, agree on a date for a monthly date night. Planning to be romantic and go on at least one date a month can do wonders for your relationship. [Read: 45 special & sweet date ideas every couple should have on their checklist]

38. Plan for regular check-ins

While you’re marking dates in your calendar, why don’t you plan times to check in with your partner?

Every month, every few weeks, or whenever you like, sit down with your partner. Take away all the distractions, like your phones or children, and just get it all out on the table.

By encouraging these frequent check-ins where you’re both sharing your feelings, you’ll prevent resentment from building up and promote healthy communication. And we really can’t rave enough about the power of healthy communication!

Can you make a relationship work?

So, now that you know all the tips on how to make a relationship work, do you think you can do it?

It won’t be easy, and the effort will be constant. But, if you think that it’s worth it, go for it. Putting in the work to make a relationship flourish is incredibly rewarding, and can improve your relationship, and life, tenfold.

However, if you know deep in your gut that the relationship isn’t worth fighting for, it might be time to call it quits now. If you expend this amount of energy on a doomed relationship, you’ll only burn yourself out before an inevitable breakup. [Read: 42 red flags and signs it’s time to end your relationship and move on for good]

Understanding how to make a relationship work requires both parties willing to fight for the relationship. By following the tips above and sticking together, even through the toughest of times, you’ll find your relationship goes the distance.