35 Super Confident Ways to Be a Bitch, Own It & Take Charge of Your Life

Change what you think you know about being a bitch. It’s not about being hated by everyone. Rather, it’s about having a take-no-shit attitude and exuding confidence. So, don’t you want to be a bitch?

We’re sure you’re reading this and feeling very confused. After all, why would someone would want to learn how to be a bitch. Being a bitch isn’t a good thing, right? You don’t call someone a bitch because you like them, do you?

Well, times are changing. Being a bitch doesn’t have to be a bad thing. In fact, it can be more powerful and amazing than you ever realized.

Learning how to be a bitch isn’t about being mean or harsh. It isn’t about nagging or making a guy run from you. Being a bitch is about confidence and style. This type of bitch is the one who walks into a party, commands the attention of those around her, and doesn’t exactly make everyone fear her, but she definitely puts out the “don’t mess with me” vibe.

So, how do you become this type of bitch? [Read: Learn how to be your own hero or SHERO]

What is a bitch?

First off, what is a bitch? Sure, it’s a female dog. But the other, more outdated, definition is a woman who is belligerent, unreasonable, malicious, controlling, aggressive, or dominant. That isn’t who or what we mean when we talk about learning how to be a bitch.

Sure, that word is still used to describe the so-called ‘Karens’ of the world. But the word bitch has evolved; just think about terms like bad bitch or boss bitch. The word bitch has been transformed from something insulting to something empowering.

A bad bitch is a term used in many modern songs, and it is not an insult. It means a woman is a badass. She has self-respect, confidence, and independence. Rihanna is the perfect example of this. [Read: 20 ways to be more confident in yourself]

Then there is the boss bitch, which isn’t just a term, but also the title of a book inspiring female empowerment. A boss bitch is successful. She speaks her mind, sets boundaries, and goes for what she wants *the book is by author Nicole Lapin if you’re inspired to read up more on the subject*.

The type of bitch you want to learn how to be is an ambitious advocate for herself. She is a force to be reckoned with. She doesn’t apologize for being a little bit selfish if it means she gets what she deserves. But she’s not mean or intimidating; she is loyal, trusting, and someone you want on your side.

This is the type of bitch you want to be when you learn how to be a bitch.

How not to be a bitch

There are plenty of ways to teach you how to be a bitch. But there are also lots of ways you can go about it all wrong. You don’t want to be someone that people disrespect. Nor do you don’t want to be rude or arrogant.

Being a bitch in the best way possible means balancing a fine line between being nasty and being awesome. So, before you learn all the ways to be a bitch, unlearn some of these bad habits.

1. Don’t be unnecessarily difficult

Yes, being a bitch means demanding respect. You will fight for what you deserve. But you also know when to be difficult and when not to.

You can spot the difference between a worthwhile argument to get what you deserve versus being difficult for the sake of being difficult. [Read: Learn how to stop being annoying]

2. Don’t disrespect others

A bitch demands the best from those around her. She will offer constructive criticism and inspiration. But she will not tear someone down or bully them.

She will say what needs to be said but will not be cruel in doing so. Being a boss bitch or bad bitch is about knowing how to show your confidence and achieve your goals while respecting everyone around you.

3. Ignore drama

A true bitch doesn’t have time for drama. A dramatic bitch is someone that starts drama, is always involved in it, and may even start and spread rumors.

If you are a bitch who is independent and driven to achieve your goals, drama only gets in your way. [Read: Stop negative people from sucking your energy]

4. Stop judging people

We all have some things we judge people for, like not putting away their grocery cart or foregoing the COVID vaccine.

But a bitch doesn’t put her priorities on others. Sure, her career and self-confidence are important to her, but she wouldn’t judge a woman that would rather be home raising kids. She accepts everyone’s choices.

5. Stop the blame game

Something that makes you a bitch is owning your shit. You know how to take responsibility for your actions.

If you make a mistake, you own up to it and move on. You do not blame your stuff on others or try to brush off mistakes you’ve made. [Read: Life lessons to help you be happier]

How to be a bitch the right way

Being a bitch is awesome for so many reasons. You have confidence, people respect you, and you have power over your own life without taking anyone else’s shit.

Rather than being someone on the sidelines of your own life, be the main character. Learn how to be a bitch and take control of your life. [Read: Sure signs you’re a bitch and don’t even know it]

1. Don’t give a shit

The best part about being a bitch is that you just don’t give a shit – literally. You don’t care if someone doesn’t like your outfit, and you don’t care that your mother-in-law makes nasty comments.

And you certainly don’t care if Ms. Queen Bee isn’t happy that you aren’t following her around, making her feel good. There is a specific art to not giving a shit, and a bitch has mastered it.

2. Stop thinking it is your responsibility to make people happy

A bitch is someone who knows it isn’t her responsibility to fill up everyone around her. Sure, if a friend is down, she wants to cheer them up, but she won’t let others drain her energy or positivity. They also don’t care if someone is trying to get all the attention or bringing everyone down to be the center of attention.

She knows she has a responsibility to herself. She can only control her own feelings, no one else’s. A bitch won’t blame herself for someone else’s negativity. [Read: Stop giving a damn what other people think]

3. Don’t hold grudges

A bitch doesn’t waste her time holding grudges. She has enough to do, her energy doesn’t need to be depleted by someone else’s screw-up.

There is no need to make someone feel bad, especially if they apologize. Sure, she may watch herself around someone that betrayed her, but she won’t hold it against them.

4. Call other women out

If another woman is competing with her or bringing her down, she doesn’t just sit back and take it. She calls her out and reminds her that women should be supporting each other.

Women have enough going against them with the patriarchy at play, there is no need to put each other down. [Read: Is it wrong to be a bitchy girl?]

5. Stand up for your friends

The bitch not only doesn’t engage in gossip, she steps up to defend people and make them stop. If she notices people judging or name-calling, she will call them out.

Whether the victim of this is her friend or not, she knows when to be the voice of reason.

6. Stand up to the bully

She feels it is her personal duty to take care of those who don’t – or can’t – take care of themselves. Protecting others from a bully, a f*ckboy, or anyone treating someone wrong is no problem for her. [Read: Grown-up ways to deal with bullies]

7. Don’t take shit from any guy, no matter how gorgeous he is

A bitch doesn’t melt in the presence of a hot guy. Even if he is Channing Tatum, he is history if he doesn’t call or text when he says he will.

She doesn’t have time for some guy that doesn’t live up to his word. She has plenty of other options waiting for her.

8. Don’t be MEAN

Being a bitch is NOT about being mean. It is about being self-confident and knowing who you are and what you want. You don’t have to make others look bad or belittle them to make yourself look better. [Read: Quick-fixes to transform yourself into a boss bitch]

9. Walk the walk

When a bitch walks into a room, everyone takes notice. Knowing she owns it, she walks and moves in a specific way that exudes confidence and class.

She isn’t self-conscious or nervous about tripping because if she does, she owns that too.

10. Always have your best friend’s back

Loyalty is one of a bitch’s best traits. The bitch will take anyone out if they try to screw with her best friend. If you’ve been wondering how to be a bitch, this is one of the most important things you should do. [Read: 15 qualities of a good friend]

11. Ignore the trends

She doesn’t have to be trendy because her style is perfect, just the way it is. There is no need to keep up with what the fashion magazines say. She IS a walking fashion magazine.

12. Respect everyone’s time

A bitch may be fashionably late to a party, but she will respect everyone’s time if there is a meeting or date.

She doesn’t think she is better than anyone and that her time is more important. She respects everyone as her equal. [Read: How to be bossy in love without being bitchy]

13. Do the right thing

She is guided by nothing but her own sense of right and wrong. A bitch doesn’t do things because they are cool or will get people’s attention. She gets all the attention she wants from just being herself, which leads her to make good decisions.

14. Don’t ever let some guy get the best of you

If a bitch catches a guy blowing her off – or, God forbid, cheating on her – she is not above getting back any way she can.

And her method? She moves on with poise. She doesn’t need revenge or pettiness. A bitch has enough confidence in herself to know what she deserves and to let go of someone that mistreats her. [Read: How to control your emotions]

15. Own your sexuality

Not afraid of being a woman, the bitch knows that it is her body and her choice. She won’t apologize for having sex, talking about sex, or being sexual. Her body is hers to do with what she pleases.

16. Gain confidence in yourself

You don’t have to lie to a bitch about whether her jeans make her look fat. Do you know why? Because she doesn’t give a shit what you think – she knows she looks damn good! She doesn’t need anyone’s reassurance but her own.

17. Forget codependence

A true bitch doesn’t need to rely on others. She knows when to ask for help, but she validates herself. She doesn’t need a relationship to feel good about herself or know she is worthy. [Read: 25 traits of a mean girl]

18. Know yourself

A bitch is never out of control. She knows her limits and accepts that she can’t control everything. Being a bitch is about handling yourself and knowing what you can handle.

19. Know what you want, and don’t ever settle

A bitch knows what she wants and doesn’t ever settle for less. She never believes that she isn’t good enough for the best of the best. If it isn’t right, she won’t try to make it fit.

If she feels used, she will move along. And most of all, she isn’t ever concerned about not being where everyone else is in life. She is exactly where she belongs. [Read: Almost is never worth it: Don’t settle]

20. Lead

The bitch is always out in front of the pack, never hanging back following. She knows where she wants to go and what scene she wants to be seen in. And if you don’t want to come, that is your loss.

21. Communicate

Another important thing to know about a bitch is that she communicates. She says how she feels and what she needs. So, if she knows that what she has to say could be controversial, she’ll say it anyway.

A bitch is not worried about being overly polite or stirring the pot, so you can always rely on her to speak the truth; to speak up when it’s called for. [Read: How to speak clearly and effectively]

22. Don’t update your status

A bitch doesn’t need to create a persona on the internet. She is a living and breathing persona in real life. If you want to learn how to be a bitch you need to go dark on your social media.

A bitch will post what she wants when she wants to, but she doesn’t feel the need to update the world on all her comings and goings. She is too busy living life off-screen.

23. Don’t sit around waiting for any guy

A bitch will never spend the weekend waiting for a text from a guy because he said he would be in touch. If she likes him, she will reach out because she isn’t afraid of rejection. If he doesn’t text, he doesn’t text, and she can deal with that. [Read: Should I text him first?]

24. Don’t use other people

A bitch isn’t going to use you for a ride, to get tickets to a concert, or simply because she doesn’t want to be by herself.

She has choices, so she isn’t going to waste her time using someone or something because she has her shit together.

25. Get your shit together

A girl who has it all together, pays her own bills, and is slowly making her way up the corporate ladder has bitch written all over her.

She isn’t the one who is pushing other women down or creating drama in the office. She is the one who has her nose to the grindstone and works hard to get where she is at.

26. Don’t take no for an answer

The bitch is never going to take “no” for an answer. If she wants something, she will go after it and will work relentlessly until she gets it.

“No” is not in her vocabulary and is unacceptable to hear from someone else. Instead, she hears “try harder” or “don’t give up.” [Read: How self-respect affects you and your relationships]

27. Look good in everything from jeans to evening wear

It isn’t about what she is wearing, she looks perfect in everything because of how she wears it. She doesn’t have to text to find out what she should wear because she already knows. She will define the occasion and the atmosphere. Looking good really isn’t about style; it’s about confidence.

28. Don’t ask anyone else’s opinion

Some girls tend to need consensus. But not the bitch. She doesn’t ask around what others think because she doesn’t care. Not needing approval from anyone, she does what she wants and never looks back. [Read: Be less codependent and enjoy your life for you]

29. Be kind-hearted and generous

Hang on, this isn’t what you thought being a bitch is all about, right? Well, actually, being kind-hearted and generous is really important to a bitch.

Even though she is a bitch, if you need her, she is there in a heartbeat, no matter what. Remember what we said about loyalty? This is where that really shines through.

30. Accept being misunderstood

People tend to think a bitch is cold or callous, but her very essence is that she knows who she is.

She doesn’t take shit from anyone and doesn’t worry or care about what anyone thinks. She knows not everyone will like her or understand how she is the way she is, and she accepts that and moves forward.

[Read: Body language moves to appear more confident]

So if you have been wondering how to be a bitch, now you know. A bitch isn’t mean. She is a woman who has her shit together, can take care of herself, and isn’t looking for anyone to do anything for her. She has it all covered.