34 Subtle Signs Your Ex Wants You Back & Misses You But Won’t Admit It

Since your breakup, you wonder if your ex has regrets and second thoughts. So, these are the signs your ex wants you back but won’t admit it.

We’ve all been there—the yelling over the phone, the essay long texts, the final “it’s over” sentence, and then the immediate “I’m independent” vibe that proudly comes along after it. But, after giving it five minutes, they realize they made a mistake and want you back. But no, they can’t call you, that would mean they lost this battle. So these are the signs your ex wants you back but won’t admit it.

Do they want you back? Signs your ex wants you back but won’t admit it

Yeah, pride is one hell of a drug, and it doesn’t make things much better at the end of the day. If you’ve been dumped, you’re probably thinking your ex is living the life, but that’s probably not the case.

They’re probably realizing how lonely they are and that they made a huge mistake. Will they admit it? Well, not right now at least. But, you know, there are ways you can tell if they want you back.

And they almost always come back…unless you were a real asshole, then they ain’t.

1. They’re still angry

You’re still getting those “f*ck you” text messages and angry phone calls. If someone was really content with how things went, they wouldn’t be harassing you with angry messages. There would be no need.

If your ex isn’t being the nicest person to you, it’s because they’re hurt. [Read: My ex hates me – Why they hate you and 19 ways to get past their rage]

2. They moved on super quickly

You just broke up last week, and they’re already dating someone they just met last night at the club.

People can be funny. And it is so obvious that they’re trying to mask the pain by literally flopping into another relationship. They haven’t moved on and when someone does that, they never move on.

3. Overcompensation on social media

They go out every night, and the pictures of them drinking beer and laughing overflow on Facebook. It might make you sick, but only because this is a lot of people’s go-to move.

Yeah, how depressing, but some people need to show their ex that they’re having an amazing time without them… as they cry inside.

4. Public depression

They look a little dirty, their hair is getting longer, and maybe they haven’t shaved in a while. And it’s not because they’re trying to adopt the grunge look.

If your ex is looking like they’ve let themselves go, it’s because they have. Why? Because they finally realized they’re an idiot. [Read: Is my ex thinking about me? The signs you just can’t miss]

5. They stay out of the limelight

All of a sudden, they’re nowhere to be seen. They’re not posting on Facebook, they’re not liking your photos on Instagram—nothing. They’re hurting pretty bad. To completely remove yourself from social media and go out means you’re really suffering.

6. They do a “checking up” call

You broke up not too long ago, but they’re just texting you to see how you’re handling it. You know, making sure you’re not devastated and spending your days bawling in front of the TV.

Ironically, that’s probably them. Their “are you okay?” phone call is a great way to see that they’re clearly not. [Read: 15 reasons why your ex still texts you and stays in touch]

7. They make their friends spy on you

Sure, they may be your friends too, but don’t think for one minute that they’re not informing your ex on what and how you’re doing. They may be at the same house party as you or in the same class. They’re reporting back to your ex.

8. They’re jealous

They run into you while you’re talking to someone from the opposite gender. Oooh, you see their face getting heated and red. They’re fuming inside.

Jealousy isn’t pretty, but, it sure lets you know what they’re really thinking. [Read: Feeling lonely: Here are legit reasons for missing your ex]

9. The infamous drunk dial and text

So, they can’t admit that they f*cked up to you sober, but while they’re drunk, the words just come pouring out.

The infamous and regretful drunk dial or drunk text is the most reliable way of really seeing how they feel about you. Remember, a drunk person’s thought is a sober person’s words.

10. They still keep in touch with your family and friends

Why would anyone keep in touch with your mom and dad after a breakup? Sure, maybe they like your parents, but come on, that’s a strategic move to keep themselves in your life.

11. “I didn’t expect to see you here!” 

Oh yes, you did, you totally did. If they’re bumping into you on the regular, well, that’s not by accident. If you two were in a committed relationship, your ex-partner knows your pattern.

They know where you get coffee, where you walk your dog—they know it all. That’s no coincidence. [Read: Bumped into your ex? 19 super-cool ways to show them YDGAF]

12. You see them change in a good way

Those things about them that used to bother you—their tangled, messy hair, unshaven face, whatever is it, well, they’ve cleaned up.

It’s not because they want other people, they’re trying to subtly show you that they can change.

13. They bring up what made you two break up

No one in their right mind brings up that whole mess of a conversation unless they wanted to try to work it out.

Why bring it up just to hash it out for fun? Nah, it doesn’t work like that. If they bring it up, they want to resolve it.

14. Highly secretive about their dating life

A lot of people are notorious for this. They could be dating a new person, but they never make it public. Why? Because they don’t want the person they still have feelings for to see that they’re taken. They want them back. So, if you know nothing about their love life, there’s a reason why. [Read: 16 clear signs your ex still wants you back in their life]

15. They do things that you wanted to do

Remember when you wanted to go skydiving? Oh well, would you look at that, they suddenly took an interest. Or when you wanted to travel to Egypt? Well, they’re taking a selfie next to the pyramids as we speak.

Come on, you seriously believe that they’re doing this because they genuinely want to? Okay, they want to, but they’re trying desperately to get a reaction from you.

16. You know they haven’t gone on any dates

If you still have mutual friends, they tell you that they haven’t gone on any dates since your breakup. That’s probably because they don’t think anyone will measure up to you. They’re not ready to move on. [Read: Will my ex come back? 26 reasons and signs they regret leaving you]

17. They’re paying you a lot of attention on social media

Whenever you post something, they comment or like it. It could be about a new TV show you’re watching or that you went to a baseball game. They always have something to say or comment on, on your profiles.

18. They don’t take down pictures of you on social media

Usually, when people break up, they sort of “clean up” their social media accounts. They make attempts to “erase” exes from their profiles.

They do that because they have moved on, but also because they want others to know they’re single. So, if they haven’t done that, it’s because they don’t want to.

19. They still want to hang out

If they are making an attempt to stay friends and hang out like you used to, then you can be sure that your ex isn’t over you but won’t admit it. They miss being with you so they will take any crumbs you throw their way. [Read: Why does my ex want to be friends? the guide to make up your mind]

20. They go hot and cold

Sometimes you hear from them a lot and they are super nice to you. This goes on for a while, but then they suddenly disappear and ghost you. They are either hot or cold, and they flip-flop a lot.

21. They try to get your attention on social media

If you had a favorite TV show you watched together, they might post about it. Or, if your favorite sports team won a game, they might post about that. This is an attempt to get your attention on social media.

22. They allude to still having feelings for you

Maybe you still talk to them or text them a lot. If they say things like, “you’re still my favorite person” or “no one will ever measure up to you,” then they really mean it.

They may not come out and tell you they still love you, but there are a lot of hints. [Read: No contact rule – what it is, how to use it, and why it works so well]

23. They want to talk about the breakup

If they didn’t want to break up, then they might still want to talk about what went wrong. Whether it’s something you did or they did – or both of you did – they want to rehash how things got on the wrong track.

24. They are still “there for you”

They might want to remain friends – or at least friendly – and so they always let you know that they will be there for you if you need them.

Whether you need to move or just any kind of help, they let you know that they still have your back.

25. They are still flirty with you

When your ex wants you back but won’t admit it, they might resort to flirting with you as if you were a new person. People only flirt when they still have feelings. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t bother. [Read: Why it’s normal to feel strange when your ex dates someone new]

26. They reply fast to you

If you are still in communication, whether it’s occasional or regular, they will never make you wait for their reply. It’s like they’re sitting around waiting for a text or a call to come in from you.

27. Their body language gives them away

Body language is so much more believable than words. We can control what we say better than we can control our actions because our actions are tied to our emotions.

So, if their body language screams “I’m not over you!” then they probably aren’t.

28. They’re depressed

Whether they tell you that they’re depressed or you heard it through the grapevine, this is a sign that they’re not over you. Maybe they lay around in their pajamas and eat ice cream all day while binge-watching Netflix. [Read: How to make your ex miss you – 17 subtle ways to make them want you]

29. Friends say they ask about you

If you still know people who talk to them, then they might tell you that they are talking about you and asking how you are. That means you are still on their mind – a lot.

30. They recall the old times

When you do talk to them, they always want to bring up old memories. They might say things like, “Remember that summer when we went to the lake?” or “That concert we saw last year was the best.”

31. The talk about “what if”

When someone still wants you back, they will probably talk about a lot of “what ifs?” They might wonder if they did or said something different whether the two of you would still be together or not. [Read: How to start a conversation with your ex and not make it weird]

32. They ask about your love life

Since they want you back, they want to know if you have moved on and are dating another person yet. They want to see if you’re still single because if you are, that gives them hope that there is a possibility that you might come back to them.

33. They let you know they’re still single

Similarly, they will definitely let it be known to you that they are still single and haven’t moved on with anyone else. This is their way of leaving the door open for you to walk right back into their life if you want to.

34. They take responsibility for the breakup

Maybe they did something wrong in the relationship, and it might have even led to the breakup in the first place. If that’s the case, they will tell you how guilty they feel and how sorry they are. They hope that their groveling will bring you back to them.

[Read: The step-by-step guide to getting your ex to love you again]

Have you seen any of these signs your ex wants you back but won’t admit it, in your life? If you also want them back and they’re not making the first move, it’s time to step it up!