30 Silly, Accidental Ways You’re Pushing Her Away & Secrets to Keep Her Close

Is she acting distant lately? If she is, it could be because you are pushing her away without realizing it. Here are all of the signs you need to know.

If your girl is acting strange, it might be because of the ways that you’re pushing her away. You might not even know you’re doing, and she might not even tell you.

You see, you can never quite tell what a woman is thinking. A woman’s mind is so mysterious and fickle, countless songs and sonnets have been written about it. One moment, she’s sweet and thoughtful, the next, she’s quiet and distant.

By dinner, she seems frisky and everything she does just turns you on, but when you walk up to her doorstep, you’re jolted back to earth by the door firmly closing, without so much as a goodnight kiss or a warning.

Was it something you did? Does your breath smell too much like garlic? Did you say something wrong? What was it this time?

[Read: 22 shocking reasons why she suddenly lost interest and what you should learn now]

The Psychology Behind Attracting Someone

When it comes to attracting someone, it’s not just about those butterflies or the sparks. It’s actually a lot about how we connect and interact. Think about the times you’ve felt really drawn to someone.

Often, it’s because they’re just so easy to be around, right? They listen, they get your jokes, and they’re genuinely into what you’re saying.

That’s emotional availability at its best. But when someone’s always holding back or just not there emotionally, it feels like they’re pushing you away, even if they don’t mean to. [Read: Interpersonal attraction – what it is, how it works, and why we like certain people]

Now, let’s talk about being real. You know how you can just tell when someone’s being themselves? It’s like a breath of fresh air. It makes you want to be around them more.

But if someone’s faking it or trying too hard, it’s a major turn-off. It’s like they’re pushing you away without even saying anything.

Communication is huge, too. Have you ever had someone ghost you or just reply with those one-word texts? It’s confusing and kind of frustrating, right? [Read: 31 Communication exercises and games for couples and secrets to feel closer]

It’s like a signal that they’re not that into you, or at least, that’s how it feels. Being clear, open, and actually chatting like real people – that’s what pulls people in.

Boundaries are another big deal. It’s cool when someone gets your need for space, your hobbies, and your way of doing things. It shows respect.

But if they’re clingy, or they just don’t get the hint when you need some ‘me time,’ it feels suffocating. That’s a surefire way they’re pushing you away, even if they don’t realize it. Negativity can be a major drag. [Read: Negative thinking – 32 signs and ways to stop and get rid of negative thoughts]

Have you ever been around someone who’s always down or complaining? It’s tough to stick around that. A little positivity goes a long way in making someone feel good about being with you.

Lastly, it’s all about give and take. Relationships aren’t a one-way street. If you’re not putting in the effort or growing together, it starts to feel one-sided. That imbalance can make someone feel neglected, like they’re being pushed away.

The Silly Ways You’re Pushing Her Away

You may be wracking your brain in frustration as you try to look back at what you could have possibly said or done that suddenly turned her from the sweetest babe to a wicked witch. [Read: Negative thinking – 32 signs and ways to stop and get rid of negative thoughts]

To put you out of your misery, check out this list of 20 ways you might be pushing her away without knowing it.

1. You’re Too Nice

Women like nice guys, but not those who are way too nice. They love it when you adore them, make them feel at ease, and give them all your attention. You absolutely should laugh at their jokes and offer to drive them around town when they have errands.

However, being too nice sends the wrong message. They may feel like you’re not being sincere or that you’re just being nice because you only have one thing on your mind: to get into her pants.

You may also come off as a little desperate. Whatever it is, no one wants to date someone who isn’t really being who they naturally are. [Read: 15 reasons why nice guys finish last all the time]

2. You Have Low Self-Esteem

If you are confident, it will definitely radiate toward other people. Those around you will easily warm up to you. On the other hand, if you are not confident, it can also show through, and people will feel uneasy in your presence.

No one wants to be around someone who has low, negative energy. To be more precise, no one wants to listen to your pity party the whole night—not even the person you’re dating. [Read: Build your self-esteem: 35 funny things to tell yourself]

3. You’re Self-Centered

So, you don’t have low self-esteem. In fact, you’re so full of yourself that you might as well be going out with yourself.

When the woman you’re dating asks how you are and you spend the rest of your dinner date talking about yourself and your accomplishments, you’re not going to get any after dessert…because she will let you just go screw yourself. [Read: 8 helpful ways to stop being a self-centered person]

4. You’re Whining About Everything

Nothing can make a party go poop faster than a party pooper—and that could be you, if you don’t do anything but whine and whine and whine. Imagine going out with your girl and complaining that your soup is not the right consistency.

She may be fine with that. But then when the salad comes, you complain that it’s too soggy. She might let that pass, too.

But when you continue whining about your entrée, your dessert, your wine, your waiter, the restaurant, and everything else around you, it will get on her nerves. [Read: 13 annoying boyfriend habits and how to avoid them]

No one wants to hear about how the whole world is against you.

5. You’re Rude

As the saying goes, you are not a nice person if you are not nice to the waiter. This means you should be nice and show courtesy not only to the people you are with, but to those who are working and waiting on you as well.

If you start mouthing off to the chef for serving you overcooked steak, just as you mouthed off to the valet and the receptionist, it not only embarrasses your date, but it will also make her wonder how you’ll treat her down the road.

6. You Don’t Know How or When to Listen

To be successful in a relationship, you must know when to talk and when to listen. Women judge you by how attentive you are, whether they say something or not. [Read: The best ways to be a better listener in your relationship]

Again, women can be very confusing when they don’t say what’s on their mind. But when they do talk, you should listen…and listen closely.

Otherwise, they may just up, leave, and look for someone who can lend his ears.

7. You’re a Cheapskate

Women today are much more independent and are proud of it. [Read: 16 first date tips for guys to charm their date every single time]

They work for what they have, and although they do not expect you to be their sugar daddy, you shouldn’t make them pay for your dinner, either.

Women can judge men by how willing they are to take out their wallets. Therefore, don’t go Dutch when you’re still in the beginning of your relationship.

Social science and biology will tell you that women love men who can protect and provide for them. So, if you’re a sleaze in footing the bill, don’t expect her to hop into bed with you. [Read: 45 Special and sweet date ideas every couple should have on their checklist]

8. You’re Too Focused on Sex

If you are going out with a girl and you pull out all the stops to treat her like a princess, only to expect her to put out immediately, you’re in for a disappointment.

Focusing on sex too much in your dating life or in your serious relationship only shows your immaturity. Women will think you are not interested in them and are instead only interested in getting laid—which, of course, may be true.

9. You’re Checking Out Other Women

This is something that you may do out of habit, so you may not realize you’re doing it until your date or partner calls you out. [Read: 24 worst things a guy can ever say or do on a first date]

However, checking out other women while you’re out on a date with your girl is a big turn-off, not to mention a cause for a big fight.

Looking at or even ogling other women can cause her to lose either her temper or her self-esteem. Either way, this is a big no-no, because the last thing she needs is to be with a potential philanderer.

10. You’re Talking About Your Exes

Women aren’t generally as competitive as men, so if you think she’ll make an effort to be the best girlfriend you want her to be by talking about how your ex used to do this or that, you’re absolutely wrong. [Read: 10 signs your past relationship is holding you back]

Women don’t want to go out with someone with extra baggage. Besides, all your loud musings about how your ex cooked you a delicious turkey for Thanksgiving isn’t going to make her cook you an even better turkey.

Instead, she might break up with you right there and then.

11. You Don’t Make Her a Priority

Women may demand a lot of things from you, but once you hit the right buttons, you’re set for life. [Read: Never make someone a priority when you’re only an option – the truth]

If you are serious about a girl, you should make her a priority. So, if you don’t have time for a serious relationship, don’t start one.

If you can’t give your girl enough time, then this will become a problem, and she’ll start moving away. Who wants to be with someone who feels like a ghost in the relationship? No one.

12. You Don’t Really Know Much About Women

If you don’t know what she likes and what ticks her off, she’s better off being single or dating someone else. If you won’t make an effort to get to know women and what makes them tick, then every woman in your life will pass you by. [Read: 23 things girls wish guys knew about girls]

After all, they don’t expect you to be a mind reader, you just need to put in a little more effort so you’re not clueless.

13. You Communicate Inconsistently

Inconsistent or unpredictable communication can be confusing and frustrating. When you don’t stick to your word or fail to follow up on plans, it signals unreliability.

This inconsistency can lead to anxiety and doubt in a relationship. It’s a subtle but significant way you’re pushing her away by creating a sense of insecurity. [Read: Uncertainty in a relationship – what it feels like, causes, and 32 ways to fix it]

14. You Avoid Being Vulnerable

Avoiding emotional vulnerability creates a barrier to deeper connection. If you’re always keeping things surface-level, she might feel you’re not truly invested in the relationship.

Psychology tells us that vulnerability is key to building trust and intimacy. By not opening up, you’re inadvertently pushing her away by denying her access to your true self.

15. You Lack Providing Emotional Support

If you’re not providing emotional support, it can feel to her like you’re not fully present in the relationship. [Read: Am I emotionally unavailable? 32 signs you are and the fastest ways to fix it]

When she’s going through tough times and you’re not there to listen or provide comfort, it can be deeply hurtful.

Emotional support is a cornerstone of a strong relationship. Not offering this support is one of the ways you’re pushing her away, making her feel alone in her struggles.

16. You Fail to Recognize and Celebrate Her Achievements

Neglecting to acknowledge and celebrate her successes can make her feel undervalued. Everyone wants to feel recognized, especially by their partner. [Read: 29 Things girls like to hear from men to feel special and loved]

Ignoring her achievements or downplaying her successes can make her feel unappreciated. This lack of recognition is a subtle but impactful way you’re pushing her away.

17. You Overstep Her Personal Space and Independence

Clinging too tightly or invading her personal space can be suffocating. Everyone needs a healthy amount of independence and privacy, even in a relationship.

Overstepping these boundaries shows a lack of respect for her individuality. This behavior is a significant way you’re pushing her away by not respecting her need for personal space. [Read: How to give your girlfriend space, what it means, and 29 signs she needs it]

18. You Don’t Take Interest in Her Interests

When you show no interest in her hobbies or passions, it can be disheartening. A key part of any relationship is showing curiosity and support for what the other person loves.

By neglecting to engage with her interests, you’re pushing her away by making her feel her passions are unimportant to you.

19. You Always Need to Be Right

Constantly insisting on being right can be draining and creates a competitive rather than collaborative dynamic. It can make her feel that her opinions are undervalued. [Read: Are relationship fights normal? 15 signs you’re fighting too often]

Relationships thrive on mutual respect and understanding, not on winning arguments. This need to be right is a way you’re pushing her away by undermining the value of her perspectives.

20. You Neglect Self-Care and Personal Development

If you’re not taking care of yourself, whether it’s your health, appearance, or personal growth, it can be a turn-off.

Self-care is a sign of self-respect and indicates that you value yourself and by extension, your relationship. [Read: 28 Self-improvement secrets to improve yourself and transform into your best self]

Neglecting this aspect of your life can be a subtle way you’re pushing her away, as it suggests a lack of effort and self-appreciation.

Keeping Her Close: The Really Simple Yet Effective Ways

Sometimes, the little things we do *or don’t do* can make a big difference in our relationships. Here are some easy-to-follow tips that can help you avoid the common pitfalls that might be pushing her away.

These aren’t about grand gestures, but more about everyday actions and attitudes that strengthen your bond. [Read: Emotional connection – 38 signs, secrets, and ways to build a real bond]

1. Get Good at Emotions

Think of emotional intelligence as getting fluent in the language of feelings. It’s about knowing what you’re feeling and why, and how to express those feelings in a healthy way.

Like, if you’re upset, instead of shutting down or blowing up, you can say what’s bothering you. It’s this kind of emotional clarity and honesty that keeps misunderstandings at bay and stops you from unintentionally pushing her away.

2. Talk and Listen Like a Pro

Good chat isn’t just about talking; it’s equally about listening. When she’s speaking, really tune in. Show you’re listening with nods and a quick summary of what she said. [Read: 19 Ways to be a much better listener in a relationship and read their mind]

Then, when it’s your turn, be clear and kind with your words. This two-way street of talking and listening helps build a deeper connection and keeps you from pushing her away with communication mishaps.

3. Build Trust, Not Walls

Trust is all about being reliable and open. Stick to your promises, be there when you say you will, and share your thoughts and feelings.

It’s these consistent actions over time that build a solid trust foundation. Trust makes both of you feel secure and connected, which is a big deal in not pushing her away. [Read: 44 Secrets to win a girl’s trust, signs, and the BIG mistakes most guys make]

4. Respect Her Space

Everyone needs their own space, even in a relationship. Cheer on her hobbies and interests, and make sure to spend some time apart doing your own thing too.

This shows you respect her as her own person, and it’s a key in not pushing her away by being too clingy or suffocating.

5. Grow Together

Think of your relationship as a journey where both of you are traveling together. Find things you both love to do, or explore new stuff together. [Read: 33 Best hobbies for couples to have fun, bond, and feel closer than ever!]

These shared experiences and the conversations about your hopes and dreams will bring you closer. It’s about growing together, not apart, and that’s a big part of not pushing her away.

6. Laugh Together

Laughter really can be the best medicine in a relationship. Sharing jokes, watching a funny movie, or just being silly together can create a strong bond.

It’s about finding joy in each other’s company. Keeping things light and fun is a great way to ensure you’re not pushing her away with a too serious or heavy approach to the relationship. [Read: How to be funny – 28 must-know tips to make everyone love your humor]

7. Show Appreciation Regularly

Little expressions of gratitude go a long way. Thank her for the small things she does, compliment her, or just let her know you’re thinking of her.

It’s about acknowledging her value in your life. This kind of appreciation can make her feel loved and secure, which is key in not pushing her away through neglect or taking her for granted.

8. Plan for the Future Together

Talking about the future, making plans, or setting goals together shows that you see her in your long-term life. [Read: 11 Key moments in a relationship that predict your future together]

This doesn’t have to be heavy or overwhelming; it can be as simple as planning a trip or discussing future dreams.

These conversations show commitment and shared aspirations, helping to prevent feelings that you’re pushing her away by being non-committal or disinterested in the future.

9. Be Her Cheerleader

Supporting her in her endeavors, whether it’s her career, hobbies, or personal goals, is crucial. Be her biggest fan and encourage her when she needs it. [Read: 17 Signs of a supportive partner who encourages you and your goals]

This support demonstrates that you believe in her and value her ambitions. By being her cheerleader, you’re nurturing the relationship and ensuring you’re not pushing her away by being indifferent to her pursuits.

10. Keep Things Spontaneous

A little spontaneity can keep the relationship exciting and fresh. It can be something as simple as a surprise date night, an impromptu road trip, or trying out a new activity together.

These surprises break the routine and show that you’re invested in keeping the spark alive. It’s a fun way to make sure you’re not pushing her away by letting the relationship become predictable or mundane. [Read: 18 Ways to become more spontaneous in life]

It’s Often the Little Things That Count

When it comes to relationships, being self-aware and proactive is like having a secret superpower.

It’s all about tuning into not just what you’re doing, but also how it affects your partner. Remember, nobody’s perfect, and we’re all on this wild ride of learning and growing together.

[Read: 60 Perfect traits to be a good boyfriend that’ll make you better than best!]

So, keep an eye out for those subtle *and sometimes not-so-subtle* ways you’re pushing her away. It’s often the little things that count. And who knows? With a bit of effort and a lot of heart, you might just turn those ‘push aways’ into ‘pull closers.’