27 Cool Ways to Ask Someone to Hang Out Over Text & Not Sound Needy

You like a person, but you still need to know how to ask someone to hang out over text. Here are some ways to do it that will get you a “yes.”

Starting something new with someone is a little scary. Hell, it’s actually terrifying. You’re putting yourself out on a limb and if they refuse you, it’ll hurt. But setting yourself up for success by learning how to ask someone to hang out over text the right way can help reduce the risk of rejection.

That’s why it’s so intimidating! We don’t want them to reject us. It’s embarrassing and a blow to our self-esteem.

But knowing what to do and say in order to get them to hang out with you can help you avoid rejection altogether!

[Read: Is it a date or are you two just hanging out? 22 subtle clues to read their mind]

The must-know things to remember before you ask someone to hang out over text

It might not sound like something you would need to prepare for, but it sure doesn’t hurt. So, here are some things you need to know before you ask someone to hang out over text.

1. Don’t stress too much over phrasing

You are probably nervous, and when you are, that can stress you out. You might wonder, “how exactly do I word this without sounding desperate, clingy, or too aggressive?”

You are probably worried that you’ll get rejected if you don’t ask in the exact perfect way.

But the specific words you use aren’t the determining factor of whether or not they say “yes.” [Read: Texting anxiety – How to send and receive texts without freaking out]

2. Is texting the best way to ask?

Sure, asking someone to hang out over text seems like the easiest way to do it. But there are other ways that can be just as effective.

If you go to school or work with someone, you could ask them face-to-face or over the phone. You could even DM them. One isn’t necessarily better than the other, so you just need to assess the situation, the relationship, and your comfort level to see what’s best for you.

3. Think about your tone

Regardless of the words you use or whether you do it over text or in person, the tone should be casual and nonchalant.

In other words, it should feel like, “I’d be great if you want to hang out, but if not, then no worries at all.” Basically, you don’t want to pressure them at all. Keep in mind that this is just a friendly and social request with no expectations. [Read: How to ask a guy to hang out and make him want to, even if you’re shy]

4. Have a game plan if you get rejected the first time

If you get turned down after you ask someone to hang out over text, don’t worry. It could be that they just have other plans.

But you don’t know for sure if they’re just making polite excuses or if they really can’t at that particular time. [Read: How to respond to a rejection and do the right thing even if it hurts]

So, you don’t want to give up prematurely, but you also don’t want to be oblivious to a genuine rejection and keep trying.

Give it two or three tries over a few weeks, and if you keep getting turned down, then it’s probably time to throw in the towel and move on. But you should be mentally prepared for this.

[Read: How to ask a girl to hang out casually without making it a big deal]

Giving someone a chance to get to know you is crucial

If you want to date someone, you can’t just rely on texting. You have to get to know them in person and allow them to see you in real life. People aren’t always the same as they are over text.

This means that person might not know you as well as they need to in order to learn how great you are. You’re too limited over text. Getting them in person and in an environment where you can chat and get to know each other on a deeper level is important. [Read: 20 revealing questions to get to know someone better]

How to ask someone to hang out over text so they’ll say yes

After you’ve been texting them for a little while and have determined that you like them, it’s time for the next step.

You have to learn how to ask in a way that’ll make them feel comfortable while also making them want to see you. Here’s how to do that.

1. Work up to it

You can’t just get someone’s number and then ask them to hang out. That’s poor taste and they’ll more than likely be really freaked out. Imagine how you’d feel if that happened. You don’t even know the person yet!

You have to work up to asking them to hang out. That means having a real conversation and figuring out how comfortable they are with you first. [Read: How to get to know someone over text and build a real connection]

2. Get to know them a bit

Before you ask someone to hang out over text, the best thing you can do to increase your chances of them actually wanting to hang out is to get to know them.

Talk to them about everything. Figure out their likes and dislikes.

Not only does this show them you’re interested, but you can also gauge their interest by how much they’re willing to share.

Plus, the more you know about them, the easier it’ll be to pick where you hang out and what to do when you finally ask them. [Read: How long does it take to get to know someone?]

3. Keep the conversation light and fun beforehand

Before you go in for this question, get to a very pleasant place in the conversation. You never want to be serious and tense before asking someone new to hang out with you.

The happier they are when talking to you, the more likely they’ll want to see you in person. This is all about getting them to see you in a fun light. That means joking around, talking about humorous things, and even complimenting them if need be.

4. Gauge their interest in you

You don’t want to ask if you don’t think they’re into you. This might just be the last straw for them and they’ll cut off communication altogether. But if you know how they feel before asking, it’ll go better for everyone.

You can figure this out by determining if they text you first sometimes, before you ask someone to hang out over text.

Do they also try to keep the conversation going by asking you questions? Do they want to know more about your life? These are all solid clues that show you they’re interested in getting to know you better. [Read: 18 obvious signs your crush likes you over text]

5. Get a little flirty

Once you’ve determined that they actually like you and want to keep things going with you, start flirting. You definitely want to ease into this so it’s not so shocking to them.

So start small. Give them a compliment. Send something funny with a wink face so they know where our head is at.

Depending on how they respond, you can increase the intensity a little bit and get playful. The more they respond in kind, the more they probably want to meet up in person.

6. Plan for something you know they’ll like

By now, you know them pretty well. You know what they like to do and that means if you want them to say yes to hanging out with you, you should plan something you know they couldn’t refuse.

If they’re a coffee junkie, plan a hangout at the local coffee shop that plays live music. The point is to make sure they’d actually want to go along even if it wasn’t with you. That way they’ll be more likely to say yes and get to know you better in person. [Read: What to do on a first date to have a perfect time]

7. Keep it casual

If you want to ask someone to hang out over text, there’s no need to tell them it’s a date or anything like that. You don’t want them feeling pressured or nervous. That will make them wary and not as likely to want to hang out.

Keep things casual and see if they’re interested. Just say something like, “Hey, wanna hang out at that coffee shop later? I heard they have a great band playing.” It’s simple and doesn’t make them think it’s a date.

8. Don’t make it a question

Instead of asking, tell them they should come with you to something. This might not be a method that’s used a whole lot, but it should be. When you tell them they should do something, they’ll be more intrigued.

It also makes you seem a hell of a lot more confident and that alone will make them want to spend time with you. Just make sure not to be too aggressive. [Read: How to ask your crush out – 15 steps to be brave, confident and cool]

9. Ask how they’d feel about getting together

With this, you’re not sending a text and asking to hang out just yet. You’re asking them how they’d feel about getting together in person.

The best way to do this is to say something like, “I really like talking to you. What do you think about doing this in real life sometime soon?” This method put a lot less pressure on them and it doesn’t make you seem desperate to see them. [Read: 26 obvious signs they want you to ask them out]

10. Accept if they’re not interested right now

You can’t force someone to want to hang out with you. Sometimes they just won’t want to for whatever reason. If they’re showing signs of being interested in you, just give it more time.

The worst thing you can do in this situation is get upset. If you get angry, they’ll probably cut off communication right there. And if you try to pressure them, they’ll do the same.

So accept it and go back to chatting as friends until they bring up hanging out.

The safest and best “wanna hang out” text examples you can use

Now that you know some of the general strategies to ask someone to hang out over text, you probably want some examples to get you started. So, here are some that you can choose from. Pick the one that feels right to you!

First, let’s start with specific examples.

[Read: How to text your crush without being annoying or boring them]

1. Specific texts to ask someone to hang out

For your specific texts, the other person has to think about your invitation and let you know pretty soon.

a. What are doing on Friday? Do you want to grab a drink after work?

b. I’m going to see this band on the 1st when it comes to town. Tickets are cheap. Do you want to come?

c. Are you doing anything tonight? Do you want to come over and order a pizza?

If you ask in a specific way like this, then they may turn you down by saying the plan doesn’t fit into their schedule. They might tell you why, but they might not. This can be confusing because their excuse can sound legitimate, so it’s hard to tell.

[Read: How to text your crush and 44 things to say to get them really interested]

2. A little specific but open-ended ways to ask someone to hang out

When you’re trying to throw out a somewhat solid plan to ask someone to hang out over text, but you’re leaving it open, here’s how you can do it.

a. Do you want to grab some lunch one day?

b. The weather is going to be great for the next week, do you want to go for a bike ride sometime?

c. If you want to chill at my place after work sometime, let me know.

d. I can’t wait to see that new movie that’s coming out on Friday. Do you want to go see it when you have time? 

These are good to use when you want to be specific, but leave the scheduling of the activity open to the other person.

[Read: 27 painful and soul-crushing signs your crush doesn’t like you back]

3. Open-ended texts to ask someone to hang out

Using an open-ended text is a method of gauging their interest in hanging out with you at all.

If they say yes, then you can work on the details soon after because you don’t want to leave them hanging by not following through.

a. Do you want to grab coffee or lunch sometime?

b. Do you want to go hiking one day?

c. We should check out this new bar sometime.

d. Do you want to meet up and work out together one day? 

e. What days are you usually free? Do you want to hang out sometime and do something fun? 

f. We should get together outside of work sometime. What do you think? 

[Read: A step-by-step guide to texting your crush the right way]

Learning how to ask someone to hang out over text in a way that’ll make them actually want to isn’t always easy. You have to think about who they are and if they feel comfortable enough with you first. But remember these tips and steps, and you’ll up your chances big time!