26 Wise Ways to Stop Being Strung Along By a Guy and Tell Him to F Off

A lot of girls have been played by guys and are sick of it. Here’s how to stop being strung along by a guy. Take your power back and get on with your life.

Guys can be very mysterious. That is part of their charm. But they can also be confusing, misleading, and insanely evasive. If you’re reading this, you have probably wondered how to stop being strung along by a guy who has no intention of making things official. You may even be dealing with this right now.

Why a guy would string you along

There are a lot of reasons that you are being strung along by a guy. And of course, you want to stop it. But let’s try to understand his mind and why he is doing it.

1. He wants something casual

Sometimes guys want the benefit of being in a relationship without the responsibilities of actually being in one.

This is very immature. But if he only wants female companionship and sex, then he might have no problem stringing you along. [Read: 25 signs he just wants sex and is using you to have some fun when he’s free]

2. You’re a rebound

Maybe he just got out of a relationship, and he’s confused. It takes a while to get over someone and move on. He could be accidentally stringing you along because he’s not ready to commit again.

3. He’s not sure about you

It’s hard to admit this, but he might just not be that into you. There are probably things about you that he enjoys, but not enough to actually be exclusive or committed. He’s just not sure if your relationship will last. [Read: He’s not ready for a relationship but he likes me – What to do next]

4. It boosts his ego

Some guys are egomaniacs and will play any girl because it makes them feel better about themselves. It gives a guy a sense of power and control when he strings you along. He’s probably very insecure, and that’s why he does it.

5. He’s a jerk

Let’s face it. If he wasn’t a jerk, he wouldn’t be stringing you along. Nice people don’t do that to others because they have empathy. They live by the Golden Rule – treat others as you want them to treat you. But jerks don’t care about that.

Being strung along by a guy is not fair

Do you know how they say all is fair in love and war? Well, that is so not true if you’re being strung along. He gets to be involved when it is convenient for him, but he has no “technical” responsibility or commitment to you. How is that fair?

You sit around wondering how he feels and why he treats you like that. And the worst part is that he continues to dangle the tiniest piece of hope in front of you. But not quite enough to make you happy. Just enough to drive you nuts. [Read: 23 signs you’re being used by a guy who absolutely doesn’t care about you]

You deserve better than being strung along by a guy

You may hate the back and forth dating-not-dating boat you’re rocking in at the moment, but it is hard to get off of it and swim ashore. Now you know this guy and may even be comfortable with him. Starting fresh with someone else feels like so much work.

But is being strung along really what you want? You deserve a guy who can say he wants to be with you without conditions and without uncertainties. [Read: This is how you know a guy is stringing you along]

How to stop being strung along by a guy

It is hard to learn how to stop being strung along by a guy because sometimes you don’t even realize it’s happening. But if you’re reading this, hopefully, you do. Admitting it is the first step to stopping it.

Come to terms with the fact that this guy is not treating you the way you deserve. Then, go from there.

1. Figure out what you want

Before figuring out how to stop being strung along by a guy, figure out what it is you want. If you aren’t sure you even want a relationship, you might be on the same page. Perhaps you want to be casual.

But if you do want a relationship and this guy can’t seem to commit or even give you a straight answer, it is time to make your move.

If you’re not sure what you want from a guy, you’ll go with the flow and accept anything he gives you. Don’t be that girl. Want just sex? Want love? Want something casual or serious? Be sure about what you want so some other guy isn’t playing on your indecision! [Read: Why am I so indecisive? 18 reasons why you can’t make up your mind]

2. Talk to him

Once you figure out what it is that you want from this guy, tell him. There is a chance he may just have trouble expressing his feelings or wasn’t sure what you wanted. And once you set him straight, maybe things will work out.

So spit it out. Tell him you want more. If he can’t commit, then you deserve better. This may sound like an ultimatum because it is. Ultimatums aren’t healthy for a relationship, but if this guy has strung you along, this is the only way to get his full attention. [Read: Ultimatums in a relationship and the best ways to use them to full effect]

3. Talk to your friends

If this guy still couldn’t make things official with you but rather charmed his way into stringing you along even further, have a chat with your friends. And not the friends that tell you what you want to hear, but the ones that tell it how it is.

If you tell them his response, they analyze it without the bias you have and set you straight. Your friends are the perfect people to help you break out of this rut. 

4. Look at your history

If your friends couldn’t convince you to quit this guy, hopefully, they planted a seed of doubt. From there, take a look at your history with guys.

Has this happened before? It can be hard to admit that you’ve been played in the past but think about how that turned out. Probably not so great. This time will be the same if you don’t shut it down. [Read: Why do guys only want to hook up with you? And all you want is a boyfriend!]

5. Are you gullible? 

This is another thing hard to admit. Being too trusting is something a lot of people deal with. A lot of people have been there. You want to believe the best in this guy.

He says he won’t hurt you and just needs time or whatever excuse he used to string you along, but that is not how you treat someone you care about.

Finding a balance between questioning everyone and trusting the good in people, especially guys, is hard. If he can’t earn your trust, he is not worth your time. [Read: 22 early warning signs of a bad boyfriend]

6. How many chances are you willing to give? 

At this point, how many times have you talked to him about what you want from the “relationship”? How many times have you asked him where this is going? And how many times has he evaded that conversation or given you a vague answer?

You may think this guy is worth the wait, but you aren’t waiting for him to get back from building schools in Africa. You’re waiting for him to become a man, and who knows how long that could take.

7. Come to terms

Once you have racked your brain for every reason to keep being strung along and haven’t been able to come up with anything decent, it is time to come to terms.

You need to understand that it is better to be single than being strung along by a guy just waiting for something better to come along. And you do not deserve to be thought of that way. He should feel lucky to have you around. Realize you are worth more and make a plan. [Read: How to let go of a relationship that’s really bad for you]

8. Walk away

It is one thing to decide to walk away, it is another thing to actually do it. Telling him you are done won’t be easy. Even though he can’t commit to you, he will likely do everything he can to keep you around, as a backup.

You already gave your ultimatum, and he threw it back in your face with his evasive response. Right now you should stick to your guns and commit to walking away. Or else you’ll enter into a cycle that will be even more difficult to end.

9. Lay down the law

Many immature guys have this weird issue where they don’t realize what they had until it’s gone. So he will likely try to come back. But if he is like most guys who string girls along, he won’t make a romantic gesture to do so.

He won’t show up at your door with flowers or holding a boombox over his head. Rather he’ll text you at 1 am to say he misses you without any acknowledgment of his part in you ending it.

He may even try to guilt you into seeing him. This is your chance to make sure he knows you’re done. Do not respond. Even block him if you have to. [Read: Am I being taken for granted? 25 discreet signs you can’t miss]

10. Mourn

When you’re trying to figure out how to stop being strung along by a guy, you should remember that this is the part that sucks. You were never really dating, but you did get attached to him.

You deserve the chance to get over this. So treat it like a mini breakup. Watch romantic comedies, binge on junk food, and have yourself a good cry in the bath.

Letting out your frustration and dealing with the part of you that will miss the few good parts about this guy helps you realize what a good decision you made in the long run. [Read: When you miss him – 25 mind tricks to stop missing the wrong guy]

11. Move on

Once you realize how much better off you are without this loser in your life, forget about him so you can actually find someone who deserves you and treats you as such. And this time you’ll know the signs to look for. [Read: 25 signs and qualities that make a guy a really, really good boyfriend]

12. Learn from this

As you continue dating, more guys like this will pop up. Now that you have mastered how to stop being strung along by a guy, you will have no problem next time.  

13. Have fun

Remember to have fun. Not every part of dating is focusing on commitment and labels. That is important at a certain point, but the beginning should be all about butterflies and first kisses. 

14. Get on the same page

Once you know you like someone and want to be exclusive, get on the same page so you don’t find yourself in a similar situation in the future. [Read: 36 signs you’re ready to be exclusive with the right kind of guy]

15. Stop playing the victim

The only reason a guy strings you along is because you let him.

Sure, you can feel like the victim. But you are allowing his bad behaviors which makes you an active participant in the situation. If you didn’t let him do this to you, then he wouldn’t. So, take your power back and don’t let him use you.

16. Hold him accountable

When he does things like cancel plans or try to come over for a booty call late at night, call him out on it. Tell him that this is disrespectful behavior and that you expect more from someone you date. Point out all the things he is doing that are unacceptable to him and ask him to stop. If he doesn’t, then dump him.

17. Refuse to play his game

One of the reasons guys like stringing girls along is because it’s fun for some of them. It gives them a sense of power and it inflates his ego.

Maybe he’s stringing a lot of girls along at the same time. So, just stop playing his game. Don’t get upset. And certainly don’t tell him that you care. That only fuels his desire to do it more. Act like it doesn’t affect you at all. [Read: How to play a player – 40 sneaky ways to return the favor like a boss]

18. Start dating other people

If you feel strung along by a guy and want to stop that behavior, then it’s best to cut your losses and start dating other people. Why would you want to stay around waiting for someone who may or may not decide that they want to be with you?

That is not a respectful thing to do to yourself. Go find a quality guy who won’t play with your emotions. Forget about this one.

19. Raise your self-esteem

When someone has high self-esteem, they refuse to be strung along. The reason for this is that they know their value. They know they have a lot to offer a guy in a relationship, and they don’t settle for anything less. So, if a guy is being a loser and trying to string her along, she simply laughs and dumps him because he deserves it.

That’s why you need to work on your self-esteem and self-worth. [Read: 18 ways to have high self-esteem and start winning in life]

20. Know the signs

Sometimes it’s difficult to figure out whether or not you are actually being strung along by a guy or if it’s all in your head.

Once you know the signs to look for, you will never be fooled again. You will always be on the lookout for shady behavior and will stop him in his tracks before it gets too far.

21. Forget about him

And hopefully, at this point, you’ll never think about him ever again. He may message you on Facebook down the road or watch your Instagram stories regularly, but all that should do is encourage you to pity him and how he lost you when he did.

[Read: How to get over a guy who used you and feel powerful and whole again]

It may take a few steps to learn how to stop being strung along by a guy, but that is only because these players have experience doing it and you believed the best in him.