25 Signs & Reasons You’re Treated Like One of the Guys & Ways to Fix It ASAP
You have your crush in your sights, but through your videogame marathons and beer binges, he still treats you like a bro. What’s a girl to do?
You have a major thing for one of your male besties: he’s hot, fun, smart, and you guys always have a blast when you’re together. You decide tonight’s the night you’re going to spill the beans on your secret feelings for him. But then, all of a sudden, he sits down next to you, farts, and punches your shoulder like you’re one of the guys. Ick.
Oh, the age-old conundrum of being one of the guys. It’s like being a secret agent in the world of men, but your mission isn’t international espionage; it’s romance.
And let’s be honest, sometimes those shoulder punches and “bro talks” can make Mission Impossible look like a walk in the park.
But what does it really mean to be treated like one of the guys, and how does having a crush fit into this dynamic?
It’s not just about enduring the occasional burp serenade; it’s about navigating the maze of friendship, attraction, and social expectations without losing your sense of self.
[Read: 30 subtle ways to get out of the friend zone and make yourself very desirable]
Signs You’re Being Treated as One of the Guys
Ever find yourself in the middle of a guy’s night, munching on chips, and suddenly wondering, “Wait, am I one of the guys?” Let’s look for clues without all the technical mumbo-jumbo:
1. The way they talk to you
When your guy friends use nicknames or specific language, it’s a subconscious way of fitting you into their “in-group.”
Being clued in with the inside jokes is great and all… unless you want one of the guys to see you as dating potential. Welcome to the club!
2. The non-romantic high-fives
Those high-fives and friendly punches might just be indicators of platonic affection.
In body language, these non-verbal cues can signal how someone views your relationship. Who knew a high-five could say so much? [Read: 20 signs he just wants to be friends even if you’re hoping for more]
3. Stuck in the friendship zone
The “friendship zone” isn’t just a pop-culture term; it’s a real space in relationship dynamics where romantic interest takes a backseat.
Understanding this zone might require a map, but hey, at least you’re not lost!
4. What your friends say behind your back
Or to your face. If they compliment you for “not being like other girls,” congratulate you for your beer-chugging or dart-throwing prowess, or just outright call you one of the guys, then guess what? That’s really how they see you.
5. How you feel in your heart
Your emotions are a powerful tool in understanding your social standing. In psychology, understanding your emotions is often referred to as emotional intelligence. So, your heart isn’t just for love songs; it’s a wise guide on this journey.
For example, if you consistently feel sidelined or unacknowledged in a romantic context, it might be a sign that you’re seen as just one of the boys.
Tuning into these feelings and reflecting on them can provide valuable insights into how to navigate the complex dance between friendship and romance.
6. The group vibe
The way the whole group interacts is a fascinating dance of social dynamics.
Observing how you’re treated can reveal insights into group roles and norms. It’s like being a sociologist, but with more fun and fewer research papers!
Reasons Why You’re Being Treated as One of the Guys
Understanding why you’re treated as one of the guys isn’t as complicated as it seems. Instead, it’s a flavorful mix of psychology, behavior, fashion choices, and even a bit of cultural cha-cha.
Let’s unpack this intriguing suitcase of social dynamics:
1. Behavioral mirroring: “I burp, therefore I am”
Ever found yourself mirroring your friends’ behaviors, like laughing at the same jokes or even burping in unison?
This is more than a coincidence; it’s a psychological phenomenon called “mirroring.” By acting like one of the guys, you might just become one.
2. Shared interests and hobbies: The power of play
Love gaming, sports, or car racing? Engaging in traditionally male-oriented activities can shape others’ perceptions of you.
It’s like wearing a badge that says, “Yep, I’m one of you!” While it’s great to pursue your hobbies, just don’t lose yourself in the game. [Read: What are you passionate about? How to find and own your desires]
3. Communication style: The art of talking like a dude
It’s not just what you say; it’s how you say it. Adopting masculine communication patterns can make others see you as one of the guys.
4. Physical appearance and attire: Fashion meets philosophy
Your wardrobe choices and appearance do more than just turn heads; they send signals. Obviously, if that’s your style, there’s no need to ditch the jeans.
But understanding how your style contributes to the one-of-the-boys image might just add a splash of insight to your fashion recipe.
[Read: The clothes make the girl – 15 tips to get you looking your best]
5. The impact of past relationships: Ghosts of friendships past
Previous friendships or romantic relationships can shape your current “one of the guys” status. It’s like having a social history book that’s writing itself. Fascinating, isn’t it?
For instance, if your previous relationships were predominantly platonic with males, this history may lead other men to perceive you more as a buddy than a potential romantic interest.
Recognizing these patterns and reflecting on how you may want to be perceived now can empower you to steer your relationships in the direction that feels right for you.
[Read: What guys look for in a girl – 26 things men like more than appearance]
What to Do When You’re Treated Like One of the Guys
The “one of the guys” label. It’s an honor, a compliment, and sometimes a pesky obstacle when you’re crushing on one of the crew. Let’s delve into what you can do if you find yourself in this unique and sometimes confusing situation.
1. Understanding the dynamics
Have you ever wondered why you’re seen as one of the guys? It’s not just about shared interests or hobbies; there’s actually a psychological phenomenon at play.
Concepts like in-group bias and social identity shape how we see ourselves and others in our social circles. Understanding these dynamics can help you navigate your friendships and romantic interests more consciously.
2. Working on your scent
Smell matters! Our scent communicates a lot about us, including our emotions, health, and even our compatibility with others.
You don’t need to smell like a rose garden but maybe leave the locker room fragrance behind. Understanding pheromones and olfactory cues can help you make a subtle statement.
In fewer, less scientific words, remind your crush that you’re not just one of the boys by wearing perfume and other scents that are very floral, sweet, or otherwise feminine.
He won’t be able to see you as one of the guys when his nose picks up on something very different!
3. Express interest in other males & talk about sex
If you’re really serious about breaking out of the friendzone, subtlety won’t always work in your favor. Sometimes, you just have to make it obvious that you’re a woman by talking about it!
While they talk about the women they find attractive, join the conversation by talking about your latest male celebrity crush.
And if you feel comfortable enough, express how long it’s been since you had some action in the sack! [Read: Being sex positive – why this matters and why you need to get on board]
4. Forgo farting and burping
While a well-timed burp might get laughs, romance might require a bit more finesse. Understanding social norms and etiquette allows you to navigate friendships and romantic interests with grace *and fewer toots*.
Just remember this small guide: Friends are forthcoming with toilet humor, but girlfriends tend to hide those bodily functions for as long as they can. [Read: The 20 cutest, most adorably awkward moments in a new relationship]
5. Exploring the girly side of life
Who said being girly is all about pink and glitter? Embrace your interests, whether it’s fashion, science, or sports, and don’t let stereotypes hold you back. You can be one of the guys and still celebrate your unique feminine traits.
We’re by no means telling you to become more girly. If you’re more of a tomboy by nature, that’s great!
But you definitely shouldn’t hide your more feminine traits or interests just because you’re around a bunch of guys and you’re worried they either won’t understand or, at worst, make fun of you for your girly side.
6. Making some female friends
Having friends from both genders enriches your social life and provides different perspectives. Plus, by seeing you socialize with all sorts of people, your crush will see you as your own person and not just an extension of the boys.
So, branch out and enjoy the wide world of friendships. [Read: 27 fun ways to make new friends and mistakes to avoid]
7. Recognizing and communicating feelings
Emotional intelligence is key. Understand what you’re feeling and why, and then communicate it clearly to those around you.
That doesn’t mean that you have to tell your crush your feelings for him just yet *although that’s something you’ll have to do eventually!*. [Read: How to tell your crush you like them – the 20 best low-risk methods]
But tell him that you just feel like you’re being lumped in as one of the guys and you’d like to be treated differently.
8. Finding a balance between friendship and romance
Navigating friendships and romance requires balance, and a keen understanding of theories like relationship equity can be immensely helpful.
Relationship equity refers to the fairness and balance of give-and-take in a relationship, where both parties feel their efforts and rewards are on par.
When dealing with being one of the guys and having a crush at the same time, this balance ensures that friendships remain intact without overshadowing romantic feelings, and vice versa.
9. Evaluate your body language
Body language plays a vital role in how others perceive us. Are you expressing openness and interest, or are you mirroring the guys too much?
For instance, if you constantly engage in playful punches and slouch like your male friends, it might send a “one of the guys” signal. [Read: Body language attraction – 58 male and female signs and how to read and use them]
Conversely, maintaining eye contact or orienting your body toward the person you’re interested in might communicate a more romantic or attentive interest.
Observing and adjusting your body language can provide the right signals, setting the stage for more nuanced and meaningful connections.
10. Develop your personal style
If you’re often rocking the oversized tees and baggy jeans like the guys, that’s totally cool if it’s your jam. But remember, embracing what makes you unique and letting it shine can also be a part of your style statement. [Read: How to be comfortable in your own skin – 20 ways to love being you]
Whether it’s a special piece of jewelry, a unique hairstyle, or even the confident way you carry yourself, your personal style can help you stand out from the crowd.
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to being you, so don’t be afraid to flaunt your fabulous self!
11. Set clear boundaries
If there are behaviors that make you uncomfortable, then don’t hesitate to set clear boundaries. Healthy friendships can withstand honesty, and it might also help your friends see you in a different light. [Read: 23 secrets to set personal boundaries and guide others to respect them]
12. Seek professional guidance if needed
If you’re finding this dynamic challenging and it’s affecting your well-being, don’t be shy to seek professional guidance. A counselor or therapist can provide personalized strategies tailored to your situation.
13. Join social groups that align with your interests
If you’re feeling boxed in by the “one of the guys” label, consider joining social groups that align with your unique interests.
Meeting new people who share your passions can provide a fresh perspective and also open up new social dynamics.
[Read: How to make friends in a new city – 15 ways to feel at home again]
14. Reflect on what you truly want
Take some time to reflect on what you truly want from your relationships. Are you content with being one of the guys, or are you seeking something different? Understanding your needs and desires will guide your actions and choices.
You Do You, Girl!
Being one of the guys or one of the boys doesn’t mean you have to bury your feelings or change your very essence.
Embrace the things that make you a unique, multifaceted human being, whether that includes being passionate about football, flaunting a dazzling dress, or having a crush that makes your heart do somersaults.
Finding the right balance between your guy friendships and romantic feelings can feel like walking a tightrope over a pit of hungry alligators.
But guess what? You’ve got the skills, and those alligators are actually inflatable toys. Phew!
So don’t shy away from exploring your interests or expressing your desires. And hey, if you want to belt out a love song at karaoke night or crush the guys at video games, why not do both?
Your personality isn’t a one-size-fits-all; it’s tailor-made for awesomeness.
[Read: How to flirt with a friend – 18 ways to tease without being weird]
Embrace the ‘one of the guys’ tag with pride if it suits you, or let it evolve if you feel the need for change. In the end, your relationship with yourself, your friends, and your crush is a story only you can write. So grab that pen, or keyboard, and create a tale that’s as remarkable as you are, filled with love, friendship, and a dash of ‘one of the boys’ camaraderie.
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