24 Honest & Sneaky Reasons Why Your Ex Still Texts & Stays in Touch

You have broken up, but your ex is still blowing up your phone. But why would they do that after your breakup? Here’s why your ex still texts you.

When someone says they don’t want to date you any longer, that should be it, right? So you’re wondering why your ex still texts you out of the blue just for some small talk. Honestly, it’s annoying and can make getting over them and moving on that much harder.

Even if you were the one to break things off, it’s still not easy to move on. Maybe it was difficult to end things with them, maybe you have someone new who isn’t okay with your ex always texting, or maybe you just find it really annoying. [Read: Dumper’s regret – A timeline and stages of remorse when you dump someone]

The truth is, there are a lot of reasons your ex could be continuously texting you, and there’s no way to absolutely know why for sure without being able to read minds.

However, these reasons are usually common amongst the masses of over-texting exes and that is where we come in.

Why your ex still texts you

Although it can be really annoying having an ex’s name pop up in your inbox, you should be aware of why they’re texting you in the first place. But, how do you know what your ex wants from you when they text you?

Even if they text you just to say hi, there’s a deeper meaning behind every message you receive.

Depending on your ex, many of their messages might have different meanings entirely. Many people who suffer from frequent texts from their ex have put together all the reasons why they won’t stop texting you. [Read: Is your ex thinking of you often? Clear signs that reveal the truth]

1. They do it out of habit

Sometimes, just waking up and texting you a “good morning” is a habit for them they just can’t shake. It’s part of their routine, and they’re not ready to let it go even if they had to let you go.

This can be especially true if it is a recent breakup. It’s difficult to get out of old routines, and so that might be the only reason they are texting you.

2. They miss you

If this isn’t the most obvious reason, then what is? Honestly, if your ex is texting you in any capacity, other than to arrange to drop off belongings, etc., then they miss you. They want to talk to you and get a reply out of you because they miss the conversation.

3. They heard you have someone new

Maybe it feels like when you get a new boyfriend or girlfriend, all your exes immediately text you as if some sort of signal goes off. Then, they have to jump in and mess things up right away.

If your ex hears you’re with someone new, they might text you just to scope them out and compare themselves to your new lover.

4. Something reminded them of you 

If you see something that reminds you of an inside joke with your ex, you might snap a picture and send it to them. This is an innocent reason to text an ex that doesn’t always have a deeper meaning.

However, if it’s frequent and stirs up a lot of conversation on their part, then they may be trying to rekindle some feelings by sending you things that remind them of the two of you. [Read: 20 signs your ex wants you back in their life again and can’t stop thinking of you]

5. Winter is coming and they don’t have a cuddle buddy

Many studies have proven the majority of people enter into relationships in the winter months so they have someone to bear the cold with. AKA: someone to snuggle up next to the fire and whisper sweet nothings in their ear.

If it’s around the winter months and holiday season, you could be in danger of your ex texting you because they’re looking for someone to share body heat with this winter. [Read: What is cuffing season and why everyone wants a cuddle buddy when it’s cold]

6. They still have feelings for you

If you’re getting random texts here and there asking about your day and making small talk in general, then your ex is probably texting you because they still have feelings for you and need to talk to you.

So, what if your ex texts you and says they’re still in love with you? Well, just tell the truth. If you don’t feel the same way, then don’t lead them on. If you do, then be honest about that too.

7. They want to win you back

This goes hand in hand with the previous reason. They could be texting you to spark up a conversation that may lead to them trying to win you back.

This reason can be blatantly obvious because they’ll ask you out on dates and compliment you like crazy. [Read: 8 signs you’re still dating your ex and can’t let go]

8. They want to annoy you

If you dumped this ex, they could be texting you just to spite you. They could be really upset, angry, and frustrated with your decision to end things and want to annoy you with their babble as much as possible.

9. For reassurance

If you ended on good terms with your ex, there’s a good chance they’re going to text you for some positive reassurance in their life sometimes.

If the two of you are still friends, they could text to ask you for advice, reassure themselves if their ego has been shot, or just to get your opinion on certain things.

10. They have problems letting go

Some people have a lot of issues with accepting things are over. They have problems with letting someone important to them go and are trying to hold on for dear life. [Read: The no contact rule – What it is, how it works and why it works so well]

11. For explanations-for the 100th time

If you dumped them and they’re still texting you, it could be because they’re still looking for explanations as to why. No matter how many times you tell them why things didn’t work out, they might keep coming back, because to them that reason isn’t good enough. [Read: Why you shouldn’t go looking for closure after a breakup]

12. They’re still holding onto hope

They could also be texting you because they’re holding on to a thread of hope you’ll want to get back together with them, and they’re just waiting for that one message to get through to you.

13. Their friends are all in relationships, and they’re feeling lonely

Let’s be real when your friends are all coupled up, it makes you want to couple up with someone too. And if you don’t have anyone, who would you turn to? Probably your ex.

This could be their mindset when they text you. They’re feeling lonely, and seeing all their friends in relationships stirred up some old hopes and desires within them, and they’re hoping you can satiate them.

14. Just to check in

Some people still like and respect some of their exes in a completely platonic way. They care about them and just want to see how their life is going sometimes. They want to know if their career is going well if they’ve run that marathon they always wanted to, and just to check up on them from time to time.

This could be exactly what your ex is doing, too. If there isn’t any notion that they’re looking for anything more than just a check-up with you, then that’s all they want to make sure you’re okay. [Read: 10 signs that prove you’re still attached to your ex]

15. To leave the connection open

If your ex is that texter sending a few messages a week and then you don’t hear from them the rest of the time, chances are they’re trying to keep that connection open for when they find it convenient.

They don’t want to go too long without contacting you for fear you’ll completely move on.

16. They want to have an affair with you

Maybe you’re both single, and the two of you used to have a really good sex life. So, they could just be feeling horny and want to have a booty call.

Or, even if they’re in a relationship, maybe they are a jerk and want to cheat on their current partner. Either way, it’s entirely possible that your ex is texting you because they want to jump in bed with you again. [Read: Sex with an ex – When is it okay and when should you steer clear?]

17. Ego boost

Let’s face it – we all want to be wanted. And if your ex texts you, it might just be because they want an ego boost.

They might be fishing around trying to figure out whether or not you still like them. They might still like you too, but maybe they just want to get a good reaction from you when they text you. [Read: What makes someone a player? The 15 sly signs of a player’s mind]

18. Guilt

Maybe your ex cheated on you or otherwise betrayed your trust. Even if they apologized over and over, they still might feel really bad.

So, they might think that if they text you and check to see how you’re doing, it will somehow make you – and them – feel better.

19. Boredom

We’ve all done it. We’re just sitting around doing nothing, and we think, “Who can I text?” So, they might be texting you out of pure boredom.

That is not a great reason, but hey, if they thought of you, then they still wanted to talk to you even though they are bored. [Read: Bumped into your ex? 19 super cool ways to show them YDGAF]

20. Anger

If you broke up on bad terms, maybe they are still angry with you. Perhaps you were the one who cheated or betrayed them, so they might feel the need to continue to unload their wrath on you.

It might make them feel better, even though it probably makes you feel worse. [Read: How and why to get revenge on your ex – 20 healthy and effed up ways]

21. Jealousy

If they know that you are seeing someone new, then they might be really jealous. They might not have moved on yet, and so they are not happy that you are with someone else.

So, maybe they think that if they monopolize your time via text that they might remember all the good things they had with you.

22. To talk about something practical

If you lived together, or perhaps were even married, then there are also practical reasons to text your ex.

Maybe last month’s electric bill is due, and you owe them half of the money. Or they want to know what they should do with the silverware that you left when you moved out.

23. Friendship

Believe it or not, it is possible for some people to remain good friends with their ex. It’s not that common, but maybe they just don’t want to lose you in their life.

Maybe they think you are an awesome person, but you’re just better off as friends rather than lovers. [Read: How to be friends with an ex without any complications]

24. Backup plan

Your ex could be on the fence about whether or not you should have broken up in the first place. So, even if they’re seeing someone new, they might still want to keep you around as a backup plan.

This might be especially true if they know that you will take them back in a heartbeat.

What should you do when an ex texts you?

You might be confused when your ex texts you, so what should you do? Well, first, don’t ever feel obligated to text back if you don’t want to.

If you are on good terms, then, by all means, text back if you want. But if it was an ugly breakup, then don’t answer them.

You might be the people-pleaser type, and if you are, your instinct will be to accommodate them before you take care of your own emotional needs. So, if your gut is telling you to ignore your ex when they text you, then pay attention to that.

The point is, that you should only do what feels right. Don’t do anything just to please them. Remember the relationship is over, so you don’t owe them anything at all.

[Read: Relieved after breaking up? 20 happy reasons why it’s a very good sign]

Now you know why your ex still texts you. Exes blowing up your text inbox with messages can be one of the most frustrating things. But if you have these reasons as to why they’re hitting you up, it can make things a bit easier.