23 Flirty Ways to Get a Guy to Hold Your Hand without Making a First Move

Handholding is an intimate physical and emotional gesture. So, if you want to know how to get a guy to hold your hand, here’s how to do it.

It really is addictive to hold a guy’s hand. However, doing it is easier said than done. Some women may feel nervous to initiate it themselves or sometimes, the moment just doesn’t present itself. But if you’re motivated enough, *and with a little strategy*, you can learn how to get a guy to hold your hand at any time and place.

Why don’t some guys like holding hands?

You might be frustrated because the guy you like *or even your boyfriend* doesn’t really like holding hands. But believe it or not, there are a lot of people who aren’t that touchy-feely, so holding hands might be a struggle for them. Here are some of the reasons that certain guys may not like holding hands.

1. He’s shy

If you’re not already dating the guy, and you’re just hanging out with him, then he could be shy. You might be interested in him, but he may not know that. And let’s face it – guys are human too.

No one likes to be rejected. So if he’s not trying to hold your hand, then he might just be shy and not know how to successfully do it in a way that won’t get him rejected. [Read: How to flirt with a shy guy – 15 baby steps to help him talk to you]

2. He doesn’t like PDA

Some people are really uncomfortable with public displays of affection *PDA*. They might think that holding hands, putting their arms around someone, or kissing a girl in public is cheesy or embarrassing. He might just want to do it in private. Just because you’re comfortable with showing your feelings to the whole world doesn’t mean he is.

3. He doesn’t like touch

This might sound strange to you, but a lot of people just don’t like being touched. It makes them uncomfortable. It could be for a variety of reasons that he’s like this, but touch might not feel good to him mentally, emotionally, or physically. So, keep this in mind when you are trying to get a guy to hold your hand.

4. His family wasn’t affectionate

Some people don’t grow up in loving families. In fact, some people were raised by abusive parents. If that’s true for him, then he probably never got hugged or kissed as a child.

And maybe whenever his parents did “touch” him, it was a hit or a slap. People can get very emotionally scarred by this in their childhood, and that could be a factor in why he doesn’t like to hold hands. [Read: How to get your boyfriend to be more affectionate and loving]

What holding hands means to a guy

Just because some guys don’t like holding hands, not all of them are like that. But, maybe holding hands means something different to him than it does to you. So, let’s explore some of the possible things that it means to some guys.

1. It shows he likes you

He may or may not like you in a romantic way. If he doesn’t, then holding your hand might give you the wrong impression. Sure, sometimes friends hold hands. But most girls take it as a sign that the guy is romantically interested in them.

So, he might be too embarrassed to show you his interest because he’s afraid of rejection. Or, he might just not want to lead you on if he’s not interested in you.

2. It’s a way to play hard to get

Some guys are just “smooth operators.” In other words, they are strategic and calculating. So, if this is true, he knows exactly what he is doing by not holding your hand.

Maybe he is not doing it because he is trying to create more desire in you for him and his touch. It’s sort of like reverse psychology. [Read: Do guys play hard to get? 21 reasons and what you should do]

3. It shows he wants to make the relationship physical

A lot of guys move faster than girls when it comes to physical intimacy and sex. So, he probably thinks that holding hands with you is the first meaningful physical contact that will quickly lead to more. When you hold hands for the first time, you cross that invisible line from friends to romance. So, when he holds your hand, he clearly wants more than that.

How to get a guy to hold your hand

Holding hands is more than just about touch. It is an act of connection. And for most women, having their hands held by that special guy is the first step to a romantic relationship.

There is just something about getting your hands held that gives off a comforting feeling. The enveloping size of his hand, the warmth of his touch, and that subtle gentleness of his grip despite his strength give a woman a feeling of love and security in such a simple gesture.

Holding hands is the start of physical intimacy. It can lead to more, of course, like kissing. Whether you are just friends *but interested in him romantically* or if you’re already in a relationship and want to get your boyfriend to be more touchy, you can do it. [Read: Why don’t guys ask me out? 18 true reasons that may hold the answer]

General tip

Guys really won’t mind holding a girl’s hand. Most women are afraid to initiate holding hands or say they want to hold hands for fear of being seen as bold or precocious. The first thing to remember is that guys really won’t mind if you ask them to. In fact, they will be more than happy to know that you want to initiate physical contact.

1. Let him know that you don’t mind being touched

Remove the “touch barrier.” One thing girls must know is guys are wary of initiating hand-holding out of respect for a girl’s personal space. In order to encourage guys to make a move, women should let guys know they won’t mind having their hands held.

By removing this “touch barrier,” you give your man that figurative blessing and encourage him to make a move.

Remove the touch barrier by giving off several physical cues such as sitting next to the guy, or using friendly touches such as fist bumps, high fives, and playful slaps and punches on the arm. [Read: How to subtly flirt by touch without making it obvious]

2. Flirt with him a little

Flirting is another way to let your man know you’re comfortable with him. You don’t mind if he dares to hold your hand. Light flirting is a good way to ease tensions and relieve any existing awkwardness that discourages you both. [Read: These 40 flirty questions will leave your guy thinking of you alone]

3. Act a little touchy

When confronted by a touchy girl, guys feel more at ease holding a girl’s hand. If the girl herself initiates touching, guys see this as a form of “permission” to hold a girl’s hand. Once a girl shows a guy that they’re on the level of hugs, tickling, and walking arm over the shoulder, then holding hands will be a piece of cake.

4. Close in on him

Of course, a guy cannot hold your hand if you’re far. To increase the chances of him holding your hand, stay close to him. Close in on him so your hand is easily accessible. Borrow his arm when you walk together or grip his forearm just above the wrist so that you slide your hand down to his in case you feel gutsy. [Read: 15 ways to make a man chase you and fall really hard]

5. Make your hand available for him

If you want your hand to be held, make sure it is free and available. Make sure that your hand-holding hand is free from your phone, purse, and out of your pocket. If you sit next to him, place that hand just about near his reach but not too close that it touches. The rest will be up to him to decide.

6. Initiate the “pressure test” 

The pressure test determines how he will respond to a hand-holding situation. To do this, take note of where he rests his hand. Once you target that hand, place your hand near it and wait for a few moments.

Then, move your finger so that it slightly brushes against his several times. If he touches your fingers back, be confident. He wants to hold your hand! [Read: 15 subtle flirting moves to bring them closer to you effortlessly]

7. When his hand accidentally touches yours, don’t flinch and let it rest there

There are some random moments when both your hands accidentally or intentionally touch. When something like this happens and his hand happens to rest on yours, let it stay there. Then, smile back at him. It’s a good invitation when it comes to showing a guy that it’s okay to hold your hand.

8. Use the “lingering high five” trick

A high five is a staple example of friendly touch. We do this with most of our friends. When you get a high five opportunity with your guy, do the usual. But let your hands linger together for the longest time you can allow. Then interact like usual. Another way to nail the lingering high five is to snatch his hand right after the high five playfully. [Read: How to seduce a man who’s not yet yours and leave him smitten]

9. Compare your hand sizes

This technique is a classic in the ‘how to get a guy to hold your hand’ playbook. Best done during awkward silent moments; first, ask if you can borrow his hand.

Once he agrees, grab him by the wrist and place your other hand over his for comparison. Innocently remark how big his hands are. From there, go for the hand capture where you lock fingers together or caress his hand while making eye contact. [Read: 21 traits that make you the cutest couple]

10. Use the right moment to lead him by the hand

Another way is just to catch him off guard. Just grab him by the hand at an opportune moment. Walking together through a thick crowd and don’t want to get lost? Take him by the hand and help him navigate through the crowd.

Want to get out of a boring party? Grab his hand and hold on until you leave. This technique can be used in many different situations. [Read: 15 classy ways to make a guy go crazy over you]

11. Make it happen when you are alone

If the thing keeping you from holding his hand is the fear of being seen by others, do it in those moments where you are alone together. The intimacy coupled with the romantic atmosphere will do wonders to help you find the courage.

12. Be confident

One of the best ways you can get a guy to hold your hand is to exude self-confidence. Guys are very attracted to that – sometimes even more so than your physical looks. So, don’t act shy and submissive. Act like he’d be a fool not to want to hold your hand! 

13. Look and smell good

This might not be directly related to hand-holding, but when you look your best and smell good, it’s natural for a guy to want to be closer and more intimate with you. So, make sure you keep up with your hygiene, dress attractively, and put on some perfume. That will help get him in a romantic mood. [Read: How to dress sexy – 29 subtle and classy ways to make them lust for you]

14. Relax

Of course, you’re nervous about how to get him to hold your hand. But he’s probably nervous too. If he’s young, then he might not have a lot of experience. So holding your hand might feel risky to him. Try to have a calm, friendly, and relaxing demeanor. That will put him more at ease so he’ll feel more comfortable reaching out for your hand.

15. Hold his arm

Whether you are on a date or just hanging out, walk side by side and take his arm with your hand. This is appropriate when a girl is being “escorted” by a guy, regardless of how old you are. This will make him feel dominant – like a real man – and will help him be more comfortable initiating physical contact. It’s also unspoken permission for him to touch you.

16. Do it yourself

If you’ve tried everything to try to get a guy to hold your hand but it just hasn’t worked, why not have the confidence to do it yourself? Go ahead and be bold! Grab his hand in a playful way, and see how he responds. After all, why should you wait around for him to take the lead when you can just do it yourself? 

[Read: How to make a guy incredibly horny just by sitting next to him]

Both men and women love to hold the hand of the person special to them, but sometimes they are afraid to do so. But if motivated enough, this is how you can get a guy to hold your hand.