22 Subtle Ways to Touch a Guy & Turn Him On During a Date & In Bed

Whether you’re on a first date or with your boyfriend, it’s important to know how to touch a guy to turn him on. Here’s everything you need to know.

Dating someone new is fun, but don’t put too much pressure on yourself to get everything perfect in the beginning. But you will need to know how to touch a guy during all phases of dating. So let’s talk about how to touch a guy, whether you’re on a date, or in a relationship with him already.

Of course, the way you touch a guy on a date is very different from how you’d touch a guy when you’re being intimate with him. But if you know the little details about touches and how to send a shiver up his spine with a simple touch no matter where you are, you’d be able to get any guy to desire you in no time.

So let’s start with casual touches and dates, and work our way to touching a guy when you’re being intimate with him!

[Read: The 36 types of physical touches we all use and what it means to someone else]

How to touch a guy on a date – The basic etiquette to remember

When you are on a date with someone new, it can be awkward at times. What should you do to show him you’re interested – but not too interested? Well, touch is a great way to let him know how you are feeling, so here are some basic guidelines you must remember at all times.

1. Don’t start touching immediately on a first date

When you first meet someone, it might be kind of creepy if you suddenly start to touch him in the beginning.

You don’t even know if he likes you yet *or if you like him*, so you need to take your time to feel out the vibe. You will be able to tell with your intuition. [Read: When a guy touches you on a body part – How to decode his intentions]

2. Start touching sooner on subsequent dates

Now, if you’ve been on a successful date, or two, or three, then you can start touching him sooner.

At this time, it’s probably understood that you both like each other, so touching him will not only be welcomed, it might even be expected.

3. Don’t touch too much

You don’t want to be overly obvious that you are trying to touch him, especially on a first or second date.

The touches should be subtle and leave him wondering if he’s interpreting it all correctly. There should be a little bit of mystery involved in your touch. [Read: 33 sexy ways to seduce a man who’s not yet yours and hook him hard]

4. Don’t be afraid to touch

Men love a confident woman. So, when you touch them, that conveys that you feel good about yourself and that you expect them to like you. That’s sexy to a guy.

You don’t want them to smell doubt or fear on you. So, don’t be too timid. Be self-assured and flirty with him. [Read: How to flirt by touch and use subtle body language to seduce anyone]

How to touch a guy on a date

Now that you know the basic rules about where and how to touch a guy on a date in public, let’s talk about some common guidelines for touch in general.

1. Touch his arms and shoulders

When you touch his arms and shoulders, you are telling him “I’m trying to decide whether or not I like you.” You could even let it linger a little bit longer than most people would.

It is a way of telling him that you are interested in seeing where this goes between the two of you. So, soft touches in these places will give him the hint that you want to continue.

2. Lightly brush his hand

Touching his arms or shoulders is less personal than lightly brushing his hands. When you involve his hands, you are sending a stronger message of interest.

If you’re sitting across from him, or next to him, on a date, it’s totally fine to extend your hand and place it over his while making a point about something.

For example, you could place your hand over his and say something like “I’m really glad we decided to meet up today…” It seems genuine, and is an easy way to touch a guy without appearing like you’re overeager.

You are basically saying to him “I’m not trying to decide if I like you anymore. I already know that I do, and I want you to grab my hand!” [Read: How to get a guy to hold your hand without making the first move]

3. Touch his hair or neck

This form of touch is even more intimate than lightly brushing his hand. This is telling him that you trust him and you have some affection building up for him. You’re kind of testing him to see how he feels about you too. 

This works best if you’re sitting next to him or giving him a hug so the whole touch seems effortless. When you pair this with looking deep into his eyes, this is a very strong gesture of interest.

Look at how he reacts. If he’s responding well, then you are opening up to the possibility of deepening the relationship. In fact, it’s not uncommon for men to do this to you when he is thinking about kissing you.

4. Touch his ear or earlobe

This is a very sexy way to give attention to the guy. You could even whisper something into his ear so he can feel your breath.

There is a reason that people joke about “blowing into your ear.” It’s a definite way of showing him that you think he’s hot. [Read: How to turn a guy on – 25 seductive moves to turn him on instantly]

5. Touch his thigh

Now we’re getting into the sex zone. This is telling him pretty darn clear that you are thinking about having sex with him.

Think about it, if you’re placing your hand on his thigh, it’s not too far away from his private parts. This will get any man excited because it’s a clear sign that he might get lucky with you! 

This touch works best when you’re sitting really close to him, or even if you both are kissing, and are in a private space. It’s definitely a good touch that signals to a guy that you’re ready for more. [Read: How to tell a guy you want to have sex without feeling slutty]

Well, if you can master these subtle touches when you’re on a date with a guy, you’ll surely be able to get the message across without much effort. All you need to do is club them with these 30 very subtle, obvious, and overly sexy flirting tips for girls and you’ll have any guy eating out of the palm of your hand!

Where and how to touch a guy while making out in bed

Now that you know how to touch a guy on a date, let’s go a little deeper into the sexual zone.

If you’re wanting to turn your man on with your touch when you’re making out with him, you’ll need to know where and how to touch a guy. We know, it may sound like you’ll need to get a degree in it, but trust us, it’s not that complicated. It’s all about learning what your man likes and where his sensitivity lies.

You’ll need to practice, and you know this won’t be boring for you or your man. So, here are all the tips on where and how to touch a guy in bed to arouse him.

6. Flirt your way to touching

It would be a little weird if you just started touching a guy out of nowhere. You want to build some tension between the two of you.

Use your words and body language to flirt with him – use eye contact, slowly progress to touching his arm, and so on. You don’t have to rush. Take your time and enjoy the moment. [Read: How to make any guy horny and rock hard just by sitting next to him]

7. Be confident

You want to touch him as if you mean it. Okay, it’s obvious that you want to touch him, but don’t be shy or nervous to let your hands explore his body. You want him to know that you know what you’re doing.

Even if you don’t, it’ll look like you do, so just confidently go with the flow. When learning how to touch a guy, this one is important to remember.

8. Pay attention to his reaction

When you’re starting to touch a guy, pay attention to his reaction. Maybe he isn’t a fan of having his chest rubbed or his ear nibbled on – everyone’s different.

What you need to do is see what touch makes him moan, and then channel all your energy into that.

9. Tease him

If you’re rubbing his chest and slowly making your way down south, you don’t need to go below the belt. He’ll want you to – let’s not play stupid – but you can drive him nuts by using your fingers to tease him.

Men drive us nuts all the time, so, this is pleasurable payback. They can handle it. [Read: How to tell if a guy is horny around you – 22 signs he’s horny AF]

10. Work in some dirty talk

While you’re touching him, let yourself get a little naughty and expand your vocabulary with some dirty phrases.

You can say things like, “this makes me wet,” or “I want to taste you” – that’ll get him even more aroused. Just make sure your mother doesn’t hear you.

11. Sensual massage

You can start touching him by giving him a sensual back massage. Who doesn’t like getting a massage? Exactly. This is a great way to relax him, and if you’re nervous, you’ll be able to massage the nervous energy out of your body.

Have him lay on his stomach, shirtless, while your straddle him. When you see his back muscles, you won’t be massaging him for long. [Read: How to give a good sensual massage and work your magic]

12. Touch his butt

You may think that grabbing an ass is reserved for men, but listen, guys love it when a girl grabs their ass. Just give it a good squeeze, and maybe even throw in a playful slap.

Grabbing his butt will intensify the situation and make him a little rougher – in a good way.

13. Touch his neck

You can do this anytime, during foreplay or sex – lick from the bottom of his neck to his earlobe. The neck is a very sensitive place, so he’ll be getting tingling sensations up his spine when you do it.

Or, while making out, grab his neck and rub your hand back and forth – it’s very sensual. [Read: Stop ignoring erogenous zones – the perfect neck kisses]

14. Nibble on his earlobe

The earlobe is filled with nerve endings, so you can only imagine how sensitive it is.

During foreplay, nibble or lick his earlobe. It’ll drive him nuts. Many people do it all the time with whoever they’re dating, and it usually never fails. Ooooooh, now that’s how to touch a guy!

15. Touch his P-spot

Oh, yes, the classic P-spot – The Perineum *p-spot for short* is the skin that’s just behind his testicles. It’s underneath the prostate gland, the most important part of a man’s reproductive organ.

You can actually use your finger to massage that area during sex so you heighten his arousal. [Read: Erogenous zones for men – Secret zones to touch a guy]

16. Touch his F-spot

You probably don’t know about the F-spot, but it’s actually the flesh that’s underneath the crown of his penis where the head connects to the shaft.

Just Google image the spot just to be sure you know where it is. This area isn’t really focused on, however, it’s filled with nerves and when you lick it, it’ll make the guy go crazy. [Read: How to give good head – The biggest guide and 50+ blowjob secrets]

17. Touch his skin

Touching someone’s skin is incredibly arousing. It could be their hands, knees, shoulders – it doesn’t matter where. By touching their skin, you’ll increase their blood flow – ba-zing!

While you’re making out, make sure to rub your hands all over him, and he’ll feel every touch.

18. Touch his fingers

So many people stay focused on the guy’s genitals, which, we’re not saying is a bad thing. But you’re forgetting other important body parts.

You can start to suck on his fingers – it’ll turn him on instantaneously. While you suck on his fingers, look him in the eye – that’ll get his imagination going. [Read: Sexual exploration and the art of the finger blowjob]

19. Touch his nipples

Okay, when you were wondering how to touch a guy in bed, this one probably never dawned on you. Men love incorporating your nipples into foreplay and sex due to their sensitivity. However, men’s nipples can be even more sensitive because they’re usually not a focal point during sex.

Come on ladies, we rarely pay attention to their nipples. You can lick around the areola and gently bite it. It’ll work even better if your tongue is cold – those nerve endings will get a little shock treatment. [Read: What men like in bed – 32 things they like and absolutely lust after]

20. Touch the soles of his feet

You don’t have to try this if feet aren’t your thing. But, if you don’t mind feet, you should know that men have more nerve endings in their soles than women.

So, you can start by giving him a foot massage and use this as the first step before transitioning into something more sexual. This may not be your favorite strategy for how to touch a guy in bed, but it can be really awesome for him.

21. Touch his lips

Obviously, you’ll be kissing him, but that’s not the only thing you can do with his lips. You can playfully bite, suck, or lick his lips.

And by doing so, you’re telling him that he can be a little rougher. The lower lip also has sensitive nerve receptors that’ll enhance his sexual energy.

22. Touch his head

While you’re making out with your guy, run your hands through his hair all the way down to the back of his neck. It’s not only extremely sensual, but it’ll send tingling sensations down his body.

Grab his hair, pull it – it gives you more control and shows him if you’d like it rougher!

[Read: 24 ways to arouse a man and get him in the mood even if he’s not horny]

Knowing how to touch a guy is crucial during a date, foreplay and sex. So, test some of these touches out and see which one he reacts to the best. It’s not only fun, but it’s a great way to connect with your man as well!