22 Big Signs of a Weak Man in a Relationship That May Surprise You

Unless you want to settle for someone who doesn’t deserve you, it’s important to know the signs of a weak man in a relationship.

Sadly, many women don’t know the signs of a weak man in a relationship. We’re not talking about weakness in regards to physical strength, but weakness in handling a relationship. The thing is, many women think certain behaviors and characteristics of men are normal but this is far from the truth.

There are so many signs of a weak man in a relationship that make the relationship completely one-sided. We’re all used to the notion that men are supposed to be strong and dominant. However, what makes a man really strong is his maturity and mindset.

It’s when he acts as your partner rather than taking all the power in the relationship, or when he isn’t afraid to show his vulnerability and honesty. A truly weak man is someone that you carry through life.

Rather than an equal relationship, you do all the dirty work while he’s just along for the ride. Though it may bring out your nurturing side, you’ll soon tire of it. Don’t stick around until he wears you down.

[Read: How to be a man in the relationship and achieve true manliness]

Are you settling if you date a weak man?

Let’s not beat around the bush – yes, you are! There’s no reason why you should settle for someone who treats you less than you deserve. Unless you like doing all the work in a relationship, you need to find someone else.

This is why it’s important to know the signs of a weak man in a relationship – so you don’t end up wasting your time further in the relationship. Why else would you be with someone who makes the relationship feel one-sided or someone who makes you feel more alone?

You know you deserve better than that. What you need is a life partner and a best friend, not someone who’s practically a child. [Read: Manchild alert – 23 signs you’re dating an immature prick]

How to know the signs of a weak man in a relationship

Our mothers always told us that we need to find ourselves a strong man. While some think about a physically strong man, your mom probably didn’t mean it like that. Rather than having someone with the perfect physique, she wants you to have a mentally and emotionally strong man.

You need a man who can fight for his own battles and isn’t going to be the child in the relationship. You want a partner, not a manchild, so brush up and learn the signs of a weak man in a relationship.

1. You’ve become a nag

One of our worst fears in a relationship is becoming big naggers, but sometimes you can’t help it. He’s turned you into someone you swore you’d never be: the world’s worst nagger *maybe not literally, but you get the point.*

You never were a nag before, but since you started dating him, you find yourself nagging more and more. In all honesty, you feel more like a parent than a partner in your relationship.

He lacks the initiative to do anything and it frustrates the hell out of you. Again, relationships are about partnership and it isn’t up to you to do everything for him! [Read: How to deal with resentment in a relationship]

2. You clean up after him

He leaves his clothes lying around or has food wrappers everywhere. But the thing is, though he can clean up his own mess, he doesn’t. He can’t remain organized or be responsible for his own mess, especially when he knows you’re around to do it anyway.

If he has unpaid bills or needs an excuse to bail an event, you’re the one doing his dirty work. This is one of the concrete signs of a weak man in a relationship you need to watch out for. No matter how much you love him, it’s not your responsibility to clean up his mess. [Read: Why you should run when these red flags pop up]

3. He has “high-school” interests and friendships

We all have a phase in our lives when partying and vices seemed cool. However, as we grow older, we outgrew that stage as we need to take responsibility for our actions.

If your boyfriend still indulges in these vices and acts like he’s still the cool kid back in high school, you might want to rethink your relationship. Let’s just say in a nice way, he never grew up. How can you have a serious conversation with someone who doesn’t know when enough is enough? [Read: What age does a man mature? 19 signs he’s grown a real pair]

4. He can’t handle “the future” conversations

This is definitely one of the signs of a weak man in a relationship that you can’t ignore. If he doesn’t have the emotional or mental maturity to have conversations about future plans or even where your relationship is going, it’s a red flag!

You obviously want to know what’s going to happen with the relationship. You’re at that phase where you want to push things forward but the minute you bring up children or marriage, he freaks out.

You see him deflect this conversation every chance he gets. Maybe he gets an emergency phone call or he suddenly has work to do. [Read: 15 things immature men do and why you should definitely avoid them]

5. He doesn’t listen

Surprise, surprise! Since you’re already prone to nagging him, then he clearly fails to listen to what you want from him. But on top of that, he’s also choosing not to respect you.

A strong man will listen to their partner. In fact, respect is one of the defining traits of a strong man. If he respects you, then everything else will follow. He might not always agree with you, but he’ll have the maturity to understand your point.

6. He doesn’t stand up for you

If this isn’t the definition of weak, we don’t know what else is. As your partner, he should stand up for you the same way you do for him. Otherwise, what’s the point of all this? They’re supposed to be your support system.

A weak man will ignore it because he doesn’t want to get involved or will join the others and tease you. There’s nothing manly about this and he doesn’t deserve you if this is the case. [Read: 16 types of men you should never ever date]

7. You don’t discuss serious topics

This is one of the most ignored signs of a weak man in a relationship, but it’s a valid one. You’re probably thinking why his mental and emotional maturity has anything to do with being strong? This all goes back to his deflecting skills and inability to communicate.

If he can’t converse serious topics with you, then you can’t rely on him for the difficult parts of your relationship. He’s not into confrontation, so, he’ll dodge the conversation and try to pin it on you instead. So much for dealing with the issue head-on.

8. You make all the plans

It’s okay to make plans, especially if you’re the more organized and detailed one in the relationship. However, if you do it all the time and he doesn’t even try to pitch in, then start questioning. A weak man is someone who lets everyone else work for them.

They don’t want to be a leader, they want to be a follower and be taken care of. You might think planning is such a simple thing – that it’s okay for you to do it for him. However, notice how you’re also doing the work for him in every other aspect. You making the plans is just one portion of why he’s a weak man. [Read: How to find the balance and help your selfish boyfriend change]

9. He doesn’t take responsibility

He doesn’t know how to be responsible or to take accountability. This is one of the concrete signs of a weak man in a relationship. Even if it’s his fault *and he clearly knows this,* he doesn’t accept the consequences of his actions nor does he try to mend his faults.

Instead, he tries to find some lame excuse to throw at you or point the finger at someone else. He thinks it’s weak to admit his mistakes, but it’s actually weaker to lack accountability.

10. He’s not emotional

One of the most obvious signs of a weak man in a relationship is that he doesn’t have the emotional capabilities to have empathy nor can he express his own. Society equates vulnerability with weaknesses when in reality, emotions are what makes us strong.

A strong man has no problem expressing his emotions, because, at the end of the day, everyone is human, everyone’s emotional. If he cannot express his emotions, first of all, that’s a red flag. Second of all, he’s scared and that’s not someone you need next to you. [Read: 22 early warning signs of a bad boyfriend]

11. He’s selfish

Another one of the signs of a weak man in a relationship is when he’s clearly selfish and only thinks of his own needs. He doesn’t know how to compromise and think of what will make you happy. It could be your birthday, but you’ll never see him do something special for you.

Instead, he’ll wait until you come home for you to cook dinner. If it’s in any way inconvenient for him, he wouldn’t do it, even if it’s for you. [Read: How to stop selfish people and stop them from hurting you]

12. He has no sense of ambition

A strong man knows exactly what he wants out of life and which goals he wants to accomplish, whereas a weak man has no clue. He’s probably just going with the flow of life, seeing where things take him. This isn’t a man you need in your life as he’ll take you downhill with him because of that lack of ambition.

You need someone who knows what they want and what they need to do to achieve those goals. Strength is knowing your path to success, rather than accepting complacency.

13. His actions don’t match his words

You know that instance where he says one thing and completely means another, or ends up forgetting he said it? That’s who a weak man is. The definition of strength is someone who matches their words with the necessary actions.

You don’t just promise someone to make them feel good, but you actually deliver through that promise. It doesn’t just make you a reliable partner, but it makes them trust you more. [Read: 33 traits of a good boyfriend all girls should look for in a guy]

14. He expects financial support from you

If you find that you’re always doing the financial supporting no matter what, this is one of the clear signs of a weak man in a relationship. Since he has no responsibility in his life, he puts this kind of burden on you. This isn’t just seen as weak, but it’s also selfish of him to put that kind of pressure on you.

On the contrary, a strong man will help you with the financial burden and make things easier for you. It won’t feel like you’re alone, but you’ll feel like you have a partner. [Read: How to talk about money with your partner without fighting about it]

15. He doesn’t filter his anger or hurtful words

When he’s temperamental or having a bad day, he’s not afraid to take it all out on you. You’re often the first person to feel the impact of his anger as he assumes that it’s okay with you. However, not being able to contain his anger is an indicator of weakness.

It’s not strength to put your temper out on people and lash out at them just because you’re having a bad day. Everyone has bad days, but it’s never an excuse to treat someone badly. [Read: 10 ways to handle dating someone with anger issues]

16. He has no sense of purpose

He’s just going through the motions of life without the intent of finding his purpose. We all have a goal to find our life purpose, especially when we haven’t found it yet.

One of the clear signs of weakness is when he doesn’t care about his purpose or clearly has no purpose. His career is often directionless and even the things he does are done without a care in the world.

17. He gaslights you or others

Weak men are masters at gaslighting, especially in getting what they want in life. He knows exactly how to manipulate people and even if it’s his fault, he’ll play the victim and make it seem like the other person’s fault.

It’s never his fault so he’ll manipulate you into thinking it is, even if it means gaslighting you and leaving you in an emotional mess. [Read: How to spot gaslighting in a relationship & shut it down for good]

18. He doesn’t have etiquette

Basic etiquette means you respect the people around you. Weak men don’t have this trait as they’re incapable of showing respect.

Even if they practically force themselves to show basic etiquette, you can tell it’s not heartfelt or genuine. He’s doing it to show a front for you or others, but not necessarily from the goodness of his heart.

19. He’s indecisive

The main reason why he can’t contribute when planning is he can’t stick to one decision. He changes his mind as often as the weather, which makes him both weak and unreliable.

Indecisiveness is one of the concrete signs of a weak man in a relationship you should watch out for. Even if he’s forced to do so, he just has trouble sticking to a decision. [Read: 15 firm ways to deal with an indecisive partner]

20. You can’t feel support from him

Whether it’s emotional or mental support, he just fails in both aspects. As a weak man, he even competes with being better than you as he always has to be better than you.

Even when you’re telling him your goals and ambitions, he dismisses them as if they’re unimportant. Over the months of your relationship, support isn’t something you had from him.

21. He’s a people-pleaser

He wants everyone to like him, which is why his actions and behavior are often validation-seeking. This doesn’t just mean specifically to you, but everyone in his life. He wants his actions to be approved by everyone.

This is one of the signs of a weak man in a relationship you should watch out for. His main source of approval isn’t himself, but from others around him. [Read: 20 signs you’re a people pleaser and don’t realize it]

22. He neglects everything

An example of a weak man is when he leaves his clothes all over the floor or fails to clean up the dishes. Basically, he assumes that you’ll take on the role and clean up his mess.

He neglects his personal hygiene, the relationship, and everything else in his life. Even if he can potentially do all these things himself, he refuses to do so.

[Read: 13 ways to stop feeling neglected by the one you love]

So, what are the signs of a weak man in a relationship?

Dealing with a weak man is never easy, especially when you’re dating one. Most days, you feel like you’re looking after a child rather than having a partner and soulmate.

It’s exhausting, frustrating, and brings out the absolute worst on you. The worst part? You don’t know whether to tolerate this or walk away completely.

[Read: The honest truth – How to be a man the way he really should be]

Strength is more than what meets the eye. It’s time to look beyond the physical aspects and evaluate these signs of a weak man in a relationship.