20 Signs He Wants to Cheat with You: What Do You Want to Do Now?

You know a guy and it seems like he is hitting on you. But he is committed to someone, so you’re confused. Here are the signs he wants to cheat with you.

Having a girlfriend doesn’t mean he’s faithful. Are you unsure of his motive or what his behavior means? Maybe he just wants to be friends. So, it’s time you stopped questioning yourself and understood the signs he wants to cheat with you or not.

Once you figure it out, then it’s your choice as to what you’re going to do about it. One thing we can say though is that no one would like to be his girlfriend!

[Read: 14 signs you’ll only be his side chick when you think you’ll be his main girl]

The subtle but devious signs he wants to cheat with you on his girl

Let’s say you are at a club and this good-looking guy approaches you. He’s talking to you, flirting with you, but never makes a move. You might be confused because you thought he was into you. Why wouldn’t he ask you for your number?

As the night progresses he might ask you certain questions about relationships and what you thought about men with girlfriends. At the time, you might not think much about it.

You are single and not interested in guys who are taken. But, that’s the thing, he’s testing you. Why? Because he is in a relationship and thinking he could cheat with you. [Read: How to steal a guy from his girlfriend – The complete guide]

Now, whether you sleep with him or not is your choice, we’re not here to lecture you—you already know what’s ethically acceptable and what isn’t to you.

1. You feel it

Girls have intuition. The problem is we look past it and don’t believe in ourselves when we feel something. In fact, most of the time, people’s intuition is right. If you feel that he’s sweet-talking you because he wants to cheat with you, well, then you’re probably right.

Sometimes we try to talk ourselves out of intuition. We are taught to use our logic and reasoning, and not our feelings. So, if you are thinking, “He can’t want to have sex with me because he’s not single,” well, that’s probably not the truth.

Just because he’s taken doesn’t mean he still doesn’t want to hook up with you. Don’t overlook your intuition because you have it for a reason. If you feel it, you’re most likely right. [Read: A guy with a girlfriend likes you? Here’s how you can deal with it]

2. He tells you he has a girlfriend but flirts with you

He has no problem telling you he has a girlfriend. In fact, he reminds you he has one. But he doesn’t mind flirting with you and touching you in a way that doesn’t scream taken.

He is testing the waters. In a weird way, he might feel guilty if you guys hook up but he didn’t tell you he has a girlfriend. Yeah, that’s really messed up because… what about his girlfriend? He wants you to know the situation, but not her. Well, that’s just what you get with a guy who cheats.

He’s letting you know this so that if something happens, it’s not serious for him. Basically, he tells you that whatever happens, don’t get attached because he’s with another woman. [Read: 25 signs he just wants sex and all the reasons why he’s just using you for fun]

3. He initiates

Now, when a guy initiates a flirty conversation with someone, he’s interested. Let’s not play stupid and give him excuses as to why he’s approaching you. 

He approaches you because he’s interested in you. It doesn’t matter what the conversation is about, just the fact that he approached you is enough of a sign that he’s curious about you.

For some guys, it’s almost just an instinct to initiate communication or flirting with just about any girl – regardless of his relationship status. So, he will always reach out to you and hint around at hooking up. He might even come right out and say it.

4. He hides his relationship

Now, you have guys who tell you straight up that they have a girlfriend and continue to flirt with you and cross the line. They do that so that you know that whatever happens isn’t serious for them. 

However, you also have guys who completely hide their personal life, giving the impression that they’re single when they’re not. [Read: Mirco-cheating – what it is and signs you’re unintentionally doing it]

What else would you expect from a cheater? In fact, it makes more sense that he would hide his girlfriend from you. Because if he tells you, what are the chances that you would have sex with him if he tells you he wants to cheat with you? Well, it should be zero, right? At the very least, it should lower his chances… a lot.

5. He tells you

If he tells you that he wants to cheat with you, well, you don’t need to hunt for clues anymore. He tells you that he has a girlfriend so that you’re clear with where you stand in his life. He’s looking for a hookup, one that won’t ruin the relationship he already has with his girl. Basically, he’s looking for a side chick.

If this happens, you really need to take him at face value. In other words, if you are really into him and hope he will leave his girlfriend for you… don’t fool yourself. It probably won’t happen.

And even if it does, would you really want a boyfriend who is a cheater? Well, you shouldn’t because he will probably cheat on you the second he finds another girl available. [Read: 14 side chick rules to be a happy mistress minus the drama]

6. He compliments you… a lot

If you have a new haircut and he says you look nice, that doesn’t mean he wants to cheat with you. But, if he’s noticing all these small details about you and telling you that you’re beautiful every time he sees you, he’s into you.

There’s a time and place for compliments, but overdoing it shows that he wants you. 

If you haven’t heard of love bombing, go look it up. Basically, it’s when someone showers you with compliments and tells you how amazing you are. It’s like a “bomb” of “love.” But it’s fake – it’s not real. It’s just an attempt to get into your pants, and he thinks the compliments will make you cave into him. [Read: What is love bombing and how to spot the manipulation very early on] 

7. He hides you

You may work together, but his girlfriend has no idea who you are. That’s strange, why would he hide you from her? Well, he doesn’t want her to know about you because he doesn’t want there to be any suspicions.

But why would she be suspicious? Well, that’s because he wants to sleep with you.

This is a huge sign that he wants to cheat with you. If you notice him doing keeping you a secret or even ignoring you in front of his girlfriend, call him out on it.

Ask, “why are you not telling your girlfriend about me?” He will probably try to deny it, but you need to bring it up so he knows that you know what he’s up to.

8. He talks about the issues in his relationship

Usually, men don’t talk about their relationship issues with other women. Sure, they may mention it to their male friends, but if they talk to a woman they flirt with about their issues, they let her know things are rocky at home.

What happens when things are rocky? People look for cover. Meaning, this is one of those big signs he wants to cheat with you and is looking for an escape.

When he tells you about all of his relationship problems, he’s not looking for you to help him solve them for him. Actually, it’s quite the contrary. It’s his way of telling you that he’s not happy in the relationship and that he is wanting to do something to make himself happier… cheat with you! [Read: 17 sordid signs you’re just a hookup and nothing more]

9. He’s jealous of other men around you

If you’re single, you probably have other men coming around, asking you out. This is completely normal. And sure, guys can be jealous, but if he’s in a relationship then there’s no need for him to care.

But, here’s the thing, he’s into you and wants you. Naturally, he has a problem with other men wanting and getting you. Men also like conquests. And that is what you are to him, whether or not you want to admit it to yourself or not.

When he has his “eye on the prize” *you*, he won’t want any other guys to get you first. He wants to get to the finish line, not them. So, that’s why he acts jealous of them around you. [Read: Snapchat cheating – This sneaky new trend is the ultimate betrayal]

10. He tries to spend alone time with you

Now, why else would he try to hang out with you at his house for a movie night? It’s not because the theater was sold out of tickets. He wants in your pants. His girlfriend may be out with her friends.

Now is the perfect time for him to have you over to finally make his dream of sleeping with you come true. You have to really question why would he want to spend alone time with you if he has a girlfriend.

Do you think he has no friends and can’t find something else to do? Of course, he can. [Read: 15 signs a married man is clearly attracted to you and is falling for you]

He spends alone time with you for one reason, and one reason only – he wants to cheat with you, and have sex with you. And if you are telling yourself that he’s just a good friend and it’s really just a movie, you are lying to yourself.

11. He ignored his girlfriend’s calls around you

The last thing he wants you to hear is “I love you” come out of his mouth when he’s on the phone with his girlfriend. Instead, he ignores her calls until you’re not around.

If he does answer them, he keeps them short and sweet. His sketchy behavior is because he doesn’t want to get caught.

Not only does he not want you to hear him talk to his girlfriend, but he also doesn’t want her to get suspicious either. What if you are saying something to him in the background? His girlfriend will hear it and ask him who you are. That’s the last thing he wants. [Read: 18 emotional affair signs you probably didn’t notice]

12. He stalks you on social media

Though he may play calm and cool around you, on social media, he likes all your photos and watches all your Insta stories. This is because he wants you. 

Yeah, he’s in a relationship, but his biggest desire is to get you in his bedroom. That’s why he’s so attentive when it comes to liking your photos and seeing where you are and who you’re with.

You see, showing this “affection” on social media is just a precursor to the real thing. He wants you to notice that he’s paying attention to you on there. 

He wants you to wonder whether he wants you or not. He’s throwing subtle hints about his intentions with you. Don’t overlook these clear signs he wants to cheat with you. [Read: What is emotional cheating – 15 signs to recognize an affair ASAP]

13. He jokes about going out with you

When people joke around, a lot of times there is some truth to it. Now, we’re not talking about telling a joke like, “Two Irishmen walk into a bar…” We’re talking about teasing you and sending subtle little messages about the two of you together.

So, if you find that he’s saying things like, “You would be the perfect girlfriend for me!” Or, “If I was dating you, I would never let you go!” Or “You are probably my future wife!”

He’s throwing things out there to see how you react. If you laugh and kind of shoot him down with a, “Oh stop! You have a girlfriend. You shouldn’t be saying that!” Then he knows you probably wouldn’t cheat with him. [Read: Does he like me? 23 signs to decode his body language]

14. He texts you a lot

If you had a boyfriend or a husband, would you want him texting other women on a regular basis? Most women wouldn’t. The only exception might be if she is his boss or another co-worker – and they’re really talking about work.

So, if you find that he is texting you an unusual amount – more than he should – then he is probably thinking about cheating with you. Especially if he is consistent and sends “good morning” or “good night” texts, and if he texts at times you know he’s not with his wife or girlfriend.

15. He buys you gifts

First of all, men don’t really buy a lot of gifts for people. So, if you find that he is giving you things like flowers, food, coffee, or that book you mentioned that you want to read, then he is definitely giving you a sign. It’s his subtle way of saying “I’m interested in you,” and of course, he wants to cheat with you! [Read: Does he know I like him? 18 signs he knows you have a crush on him]

Let’s face it – do people buy gifts for others that aren’t important to them? No, they don’t. And also, should a guy with a girlfriend or wife be buying things for another woman? Of course not! 

So, if he keeps bringing you little gifts, he’s thinking about cheating with you. He’s probably not quite sure how you feel about him, so he’s “feeling you out” with the gifts to try to see your reaction.

When he buys gifts, he is showing his affection for you without putting the message out there too directly. He’s hoping you notice and pick up on his hints.

16. His friends are weird around you

You might not think that guys talk to their friends about personal stuff, but they do. Well, at least a lot of them do. And that means they talk about the girls they like – or would potentially cheat with.

So, if a guy is interested in you, there’s a very good chance that he’s told his friends all about you. In fact, the friends might even know he wants to cheat with you before he does. [Read: Is he shy or not interested? 26 signs to decode a guy’s behavior]

Now, how his friends act around you might vary. Some will not be in favor of him cheating with you, but some might. Either way, look at his friends’ behavior whenever you’re around.

17. He chooses his words carefully

When he is thinking about you, he wants to get to know you well. And, he probably doesn’t want you to know too much about his relationship status.

So, if you notice that he kind of stops himself to choose different ways to talk about his life, that is probably because he is editing out the romance part.

When he talks to most people, he’s probably just used to automatically talking about his wife or girlfriend like it’s no big deal. But when he wants to cheat with you, he knows it would be a turn off. So, it will look like he’s editing his speech to get you to think about having sex with him. [Read: 35 signs of attraction from a guy who’s clearly falling for you]

18. He says you can rely on him

If you think he is going above and beyond normal and doing things just to make you happy, then that is suspicious too. He might even offer to do things for you like put together a chair you just ordered or to help you change a tire.

He also makes it obvious that you can rely on him emotionally, too. If you having a bad day, he will be there to help lift you out of the dumps to make you feel better.

If you’re afraid, anxious, overwhelmed, or stressed, he is there to support you. He wants to make your life easier. He tries to make himself available to you whenever he can. [Read: Why do men cheat? 43 reasons, excuses, and ways to stop him]

19. He shows signs of making a move

His body language will give him away. He might position his body close enough to you that you think he will go in for a kiss or a hug at any moment. 

If he hasn’t actually made a move yet, it’s because he hasn’t decided if he should. Whether it’s his guilty conscience or he thinks you aren’t ready and wouldn’t want to cheat with him, he might be holding back – even though his body gives you a different story. [Read: 16 subtle signs he wants to make a move and ask you out]

20. He wants to know everything about you

When a man is trying to woo a woman, they know that they should get deep and try to connect with them emotionally. They know that’s what girls like, so they do it.

If he wasn’t interested in you, then he would talk about surface things with you. But if you find that he is asking you every question under the sun in an attempt to get to know you really well, then that is a big sign.

The reason he does this is that if he establishes an emotional connection with you, then it will be the next logical step for the two of you to take it to the next level – sex. [Read: What is emotional cheating and 15 signs to recognize an affair ASAP]

Why men cheat

Now that you know the signs that he wants to cheat with you, let’s finish up with some reasons why men would want to cheat on their girlfriends or wives.

First of all, they are just jerks. A good man doesn’t cheat on their girlfriend or wife. They just don’t. So, that’s the thing to realize. He’s not a good person. So, don’t take it as a compliment that he wants to sleep with you. You can, but it still makes him a jerk.

Second, he’s probably not happy in his relationship. If he was, he wouldn’t be thinking about cheating with you, right?

But if he’s not happy, he should either work on the relationship or just break up. Not cheat with you. [Read: What is cheating in a relationship – The truth most people ignore]

Third, he probably just likes the chase and the challenge. It pumps up his ego. It’s sad, but it’s true. If he thinks you want to sleep with him, then he will feel better about himself.

Sadly, that’s kind of ironic, isn’t it? Feeling better about yourself while pursuing another woman. Well, that’s a cheater for you.

Final thoughts

Now that you know the signs that he wants to cheat with you, you might wonder, why does he want to? Well, there are many reasons. First, he could be unhappy in his relationship and afraid to break up. Or, he could just be very attracted to you and lacks the morals to stop himself.

So, what should you do if he wants to cheat with you?

Well, that’s up to you. But if you’re going to be someone who upholds morals and ethics, you will turn him down. You wouldn’t want to be his wife or girlfriend, would you? No one deserves to be cheated on, so you should resist. [Read: What is considered cheating these days? How to define your grey area]

If you know his wife or girlfriend, then should you tell her that he wants to cheat with you? Again, that’s up to you. It kind of depends on how well you know her. If she is a friend or family member, then it’s probably a good idea. But if she’s a stranger, then you might want to stay out of it. However, in the end, it’s all up to you.

Remember, just because he wants to cheat with you, that doesn’t mean that he will leave his wife or girlfriend for you. He might, but even if he does, would you really want to be in a relationship with a cheater? We think not.

[Read: The painful realities of being the other woman in love with a man]

You see, just because he’s in a relationship doesn’t mean he’s going to be faithful. If you feel something’s weird in his behavior, it could be one of the clearest signs he wants to cheat with you.

[Confession: I had an affair with a married man, and here’s every single thing I experienced and learned]