20 Signs He Just Wants to Be Friends Even If You’re Hoping For More

Spotting the signs he just wants to be friends is always disappointing. But the sooner you see them, the easier it will be to move on.

We’re here to show you the signs he just wants to be friends, but it’s going to be up to you to remove your ego and accept the situation for what it is: friendship.

Listen, no one wants to be in the “friend zone.” But the friend zone doesn’t actually exist. You’re probably shocked, but it’s true. We basically created the friend zone to soothe our egos. It makes us view friendship as a punishment, which is not cool. [Read: Don’t hate someone because they friend zoned you]

Just because a guy isn’t romantically interested in you, doesn’t mean that friendship is something you’re stuck with as a consolation prize.

Learning how to spot the signs he just wants to be friends will help you move on and appreciate the friendship.

Does he just want to be friends?

If you are wondering about a guy you like, odds are you’ve considered every outcome. You’ve dreamt about him wanting more than friendship with you. And you’ve feared the dreaded friend zone.

But, before you can read the signs that he just wants to be friends, you need to try to let go of those expectations.

These signs are not about analyzing his behavior or everything he says. You need to take a step back from your invested emotions and view these signs with fresh eyes. [Read: 15 ways to know if you’re in the friend zone or not]

If you’re having trouble, ask a trusted friend for their honest opinion. When you like someone and have hope that they like you back, it can be difficult to admit what may be right in front of you.

Seek help from someone you trust to take a second look at the following signs before sticking with your conclusion.

The clearest signs he just wants to be friends

Now, it may feel like he led you on, which isn’t cool, but sometimes all the signs were there. You just didn’t see them.

Guys can be just as flirty and charming as girls. Those traits can lead to misunderstandings, but checking for these signs he just wants to be friends will help you see the light.

And, my guess is that you just haven’t gotten here yet. And that is why you’re here.

He’s probably said some things that made you wonder if he likes you. He may even like your Instagram posts. But, some solid signs are showing you that those things don’t outweigh how he truly feels. [Read: Is he playing hard to get or just not into you?]

I know that you may be thinking, “but he did this” or “he said that.” But here’s the thing, if you see these signs, he just wants to be friends. It’s time to get with reality.

1. He’s not making any moves

Listen, if a guy likes you, he’ll do almost anything to be with you. I’ve dated a lot of guys, and really, this couldn’t be any more true. If he’s just kind of there, playing around with you but not actually making any moves, then he’s not into you.

In other words, he actually isn’t interested in anything more than friendship. Guys are physical beings. If he has feelings beyond friendship, even a nervous guy will make that known. [Read: 14 signs he’s playing mind games with you]

2. He doesn’t flirt with you

Flirting is used as a way to develop sexual tension. But, it isn’t always so clear-cut. Flirting can be interpreted in so many ways. Some people may say the jokes a doctor makes to put you at ease are a form of flirting.

So, it is important to really consider what he’s saying. If two people really like each other, they flirt with one another. But, if this guy isn’t doing anything, not making any flirtatious comments or gestures, he isn’t interested.

How can you tell if a joke is just a joke or if it’s flirting? Well, it will take place often. If he is flirting, he will text you or seek you out. But, if it is just a joke, it is out of convenience.

If he runs into you and it seems like flirting, it may just be kindness or his personality. But when he goes out of his way to see you or text you with some flirty comments, that is flirting. [Read: 12 signs to reveal if he is actually flirting with you]

3. He doesn’t really text you

Now, friends do text each other, but not on a two-minute basis. Sure, he texts you, but he probably just wants to be friends if he’s not texting you very often. A friend will text you to make plans or talk about the show you’re both fans of.

Think of it like this, if a guy likes a girl, he keeps in contact with her. He will reach out and ask you about your day. If he just wants to be friends, he won’t put the extra effort into getting to know you better. [Read: What to do when he doesn’t text you back]

4. He introduces you as a friend

If he’s using words like “friend” or “buddy,” well, you’re a friend. He may also just introduce you with your name and no descriptor because he isn’t really thinking about what you are to him.

If he were into you, he wouldn’t call you his friend because he doesn’t want people to see you as a free agent. He would put his arm around you or make it clear that you aren’t available because he doesn’t want the competition. Using the word “friend,” he makes it very clear that he only sees you as a friend.

5. He doesn’t react to your hints

Maybe you flirt with him or touch him playfully, but he doesn’t make any moves back. If you are making your feelings clear and he doesn’t flirt back or touch you and only offers an awkward smile, it is a no-go.

He may realize you like him, but a major sign he just wants to be friends is avoiding it altogether. If he brings it up, he worries it will ruin the friendship. He is just going to ignore it and hope it goes away. [Read: Dammit, why doesn’t he like me? Here are 20 real reasons why]

6. He talks about other women

If he’s showing you his Tinder account and the girl he wants to ask out, then he’s obviously not interested in you as more than a friend. This could actually be a major sign he just wants to be friends.

Instead of coming right out and telling you to move on, he is subtly hinting that he likes someone else. If he liked you, he wouldn’t ask your opinion about other women. If he liked you as more than a friend, he would complain about dating rather than ask for your advice. [Read: Signs he’s talking to another girl and using you]

7. You hang out in groups

When you ask him to hang out, he never suggests hanging out one-on-one. It’s always in groups with mutual friends. You don’t just go for coffee or watch movies together. Even if you try to make it more like a date, he will not want to be alone with you if he thinks you like him.

Though he sees you as a friend and enjoys your company, he also sees your feelings towards him. He doesn’t want to lead you on or risk an awkward moment where he has to reject you. This is why he avoids intimate hangouts. [Read: How to deal when he likes you but doesn’t want a relationship with you]

8. You make the first move

There is nothing wrong with you making the first move. I did that with my boyfriend, but he was excited. If you find yourself leaning into him and going in for a kiss, and he pulls away or avoids being too close, he just wants to be friends.

Now, he might call you to hang out or see a movie, but it’s usually you who calls him and arranges a time to meet up. If he never asks you to hang out, it could be that he doesn’t want you to get the wrong impression, so he steps back instead. [Read: 15 ways to make the first move on a guy you like]

9. He keeps his physical space

When a guy likes you, he wants to be physically close to you. He will sit next to you whenever possible. He will brush your hair out of your face and aim his body towards you. But if he keeps his respectful distance and doesn’t try to get closer, he’s probably not interested.

Maintaining personal space is a huge sign he only sees you as a friend. If not, he would find a way to get closer to you. [Read: How to decode his body language and if he likes you]

10. He checks out other women

Yes, even taken guys, check out other women. There is no law against that. But, if he specifically checks out other women when you hang out with him, he isn’t trying to win you over. If you’re both into each other, you wouldn’t be checking out other people or at least not making it so obvious.

If he just sees you as a friend, he will have no issue ogling some other woman in front of you.

11. He’s only flirty when he wants to hook up

Here’s the thing, he may flirt with you and show many signs that he’s into you, but only when he wants to hook up with you. Sure, he wants to be your friend, but he also has physical needs. He may be attracted to you without having feelings, but will charm his ways into bed with you if that’s what he wants.

If you think this is the case, ask him what his intentions are before taking anything to the next step. When his answer is sketchy and general, he isn’t even really a friend. He’s just a guy using friendship as a way to get into your pants. A true friend will be honest about his intentions. [Read: Why do guys only want to hook up with you when you really want a BF?]

12. He doesn’t look you in the eyes

When a guy is interested, eye contact comes naturally. You don’t need to be staring into each other’s eyes, but chemistry is formed when you share eye contact.

If he just wants to be friends, he may spend more time looking at your feet or away from your upper body. This isn’t even sexual, but just a commonality.

13. He treats you like a bro

A guy who is interested in you will compliment your outfit. He will talk to you about things he wouldn’t talk about with his guy friends.

But, when he just wants to be friends, he will treat you like one of the dudes.

14. He’s busy

Many people are busy, but he will make time for you if he sees you as more than a friend. Sure, we make time for our friends too, but you make an effort when you have romantic feelings for someone.

If he always seems to cancel plans or just says no to them, he doesn’t see you as more than a friend. He would rather lounge around than put in the effort to get out of bed and hang out with you. Nothing wrong with that, but it means he just wants to be friends. [Read: Why is he texting me if he’s not interested? Here’s 15 reasons why]

15. He wants you to date

Other people, that is. He offers advice about your appearance or how you could get more male attention. He wants you to get out there and meet people. If he just wants to be friends, this may be his way of subtly giving you a hint that he wants you to date, just not him.

If he is trying to set you up or help you make an online dating profile, he is trying pretty hard to turn your romantic focus away from him and towards someone else. The fact that he is helping, though, says he does want you to be happy.

16. He is seeing someone

This might be so obvious you don’t need me to tell you, but I will anyway. If he is dating someone else, he is off the table. He is interested in them. Even if you think he is flirting with you behind her back, be respectful.

It may not be serious, but don’t push your luck. Accept he is seeing someone else and just wants to be friends with you. [Read: What to do when a guy with a girlfriend likes you]

17. He splits the check

When he likes you, even before you’re dating, he will reach for the bill. He will pay for your coffee. If he just assumes you’ll always split the check, even if he makes a lot more money than you, he definitely isn’t interested in anything more.

I know this can be a little outdated, but guys still like to be chivalrous when it comes to paying for you. If he has no desire to reach for the check, he sees you as nothing more than a friend. [Read: Why men find a damsel in distress so irresistible]

18. He is interested in your friends

If a guy ever tells you that your best friend or sister is hot or asks if they’re single, he has zero interest in dating you. I know it sounds harsh, but that is a clear sign he just wants to be friends.

If he is willing to make things awkward between you two for the chance at possibly hooking up with someone you’re close to, he is not at all concerned about eventually maybe dating you in the future. [Read: Can men and women be just friends?]

19. You feel it

Sometimes when we like someone a lot, we ignore our feelings and the gut instinct telling us he’s not interested. Instead, we try even harder for his attention. This is more of our ego talking. We worry more about if he likes us than anything else. This constant focus can blow small things out of proportion.

But, if you let go of all that desire to be liked back and see things for how they really are, you may open your eyes to the truth.

20. He tells you

There’s nothing clearer than him telling you he just sees you as a friend. Though you may feel shitty about it, this is actually the nicest thing he can do for you. He’s not trying to play you or give you the wrong impression. Instead, he wants you to know how he feels.

This is actually a decent guy who probably wants to maintain your friendship. If you hope to do the same, accept what he has to stay and try to move on. Take some time apart to refocus your romantic attention and then start hanging out again if you feel comfortable.

[Read: How to get back to friendship after having feelings]

Now that you know the signs he just wants to be friends, it’s time to move on! Why wait around if he wants nothing more?