20 Real Ways to Get Over Being Dumped, Nurse Your Ego & Find Closure

If you want to know how to get over being dumped, you can. It’s not always easy to recover from heartbreak, but if you use these tips, you can do it. 

Saying that a breakup is painful can be an understatement. Aside from the overwhelming pain, there’s the confusion from all the unanswered questions in your head. So, learning how to get over being dumped becomes vital.

You develop a sense of hopelessness because this relationship once made you happy. You looked forward to a future that will no longer be there the next time you wake up. [Read: A guide to growing up and facing life like an adult]

What does it mean to be dumped? 

The word “dumped” is a horrible, insensitive word, isn’t it? Instead of saying “they broke up with me,” saying that you got “dumped” sounds much more emotionally cringe-worthy.

In a nutshell, being dumped means that someone broke up with you unexpectedly and/or when you didn’t want to break up with them. You still want to be in a relationship, but they don’t. Therefore, they “dumped” you.

Essentially, saying that you got dumped is just a really negative way to describe a breakup. But instead of seeing it as a personal rejection, try to see it as the other person just bringing an end to the relationship.

Their reasons may or may not have everything to do with you. There could be a lot of different factors that came into their decision. [Read: Dumper’s regret – A timeline and stages of remorse of dumping someone]

Why does getting dumped feel so much worse than a breakup?

No breakup is easy. Even when you want to break up with someone, it’s difficult to do, especially if you are the only one who wants to end the relationship.

Even if it is a mutual breakup, there is a void in both people’s lives. They had routines with each other, and now their lives are going to be different. Change can be good, but for a lot of people, it’s not.

A mutual breakup is easier than getting dumped because both people agree that the relationship needs to end. But when you are dumped, it is easy to take it as a personal insult. Many people wonder what is wrong with them, and why didn’t the person love or like them enough to keep seeing them? [Read: What to do when your relationship ends without warning]

Another brutal factor that makes getting dumped painful is if it is unexpected. If you see it coming, you can mentally and emotionally prepare yourself for it. But if you are blindsided, that makes it even more difficult to move on after the breakup.

How to get over being dumped

Breakups are a drag especially if you got the short end of the stick by being dumped. But like any other setback in life, it is merely a temporary phase. The quicker you realize the only way to cope with the pain is by moving on and getting over the breakup, the faster you move forward with your life. Easier said than done, isn’t it? 

Here are some tips to help you along the way.

1. Sort out, and “feel” your feelings

Just like people grieve when they lose a loved one, a person who is dumped needs to feel and own those negative emotions. The break-up is still fresh. There’s no shame in feeling bad.

Ignore those who tell you that “it’s going to be okay” or “don’t feel bad.” It’s perfectly okay not to feel okay. As popular wisdom puts it, you need to assess the damage before you rebuild again. [Read: How to stop feeling guilty and start living your life]

2. Release those pent-up emotions

It may sound cliché, but do whatever heartbroken people do. Get hammered, cut your hair, cry yourself to sleep, write a 2000-word blog post about the break-up, eat ice cream while watching romantic comedies, or open up to your best friend.

Any catharsis allows you to act out and release all that pain you feel inside. This way, you let go of those unpleasant emotions and start the healing process. [Read: How to get over a breakup and move from pouty land faster]

3. Cease communication with your ex until emotionally and mentally sober

The next step is damage control. Stay away from the source of your pain, especially if the break-up is still recent.

Do you still have lingering feelings? You won’t be able to discuss anything in a rational manner or make sound decisions if you meet or communicate with your ex. So delete their number and remove them from social media for the time being.

4. Absolutely NO sex with your ex

Sex with the ex is possibly the stupidest mistake after being dumped. Being in such a vulnerable state confuses your feelings.

It makes you jump into impulsive decisions that you may regret later on. So even if the temptation is strong, strictly follow tip three. [Read: Sex with your ex – When it’s okay and when you need to steer clear]

5. Stay off any social media platform that reminds you of getting dumped

We all know social media is a cruel place, especially for emotionally vulnerable people. In addition to this, it oozes with photos, posts, and memories of the time spent with your ex.

Do yourself a favor and log off in the meantime to prevent you from stalking your ex and revisiting old photos.

6. Don’t rush, take your time

Moving on has no deadline. The time it takes varies per person. It may take you weeks, months, or years even, so don’t be in a rush to forget, rather let time heal your wounds. Moving on at your own pace helps you sort out your thoughts and feelings better, so no hurries. [Read: How long does it actually take to get over someone?]

7. Sort out your thoughts: accept the facts

Now that you managed to set your feelings straight, move on by rationally accepting several facts about the breakup. The first order of business, accept the fact that your old relationship is gone and move forward with your life. 

There is a moment of clarity after a breakup where you finally let go of those “what ifs” of trying to win the relationship back and instead start taking your own life back.

8. Let go of your resentment

If you truly want to know how to get over being dumped, start by accepting that the relationship had some good memories too. [Read: 25 Ways to let go of resentment, stop feeling bitter and start living]

After rejection, people are naturally prone to hating and resenting their ex for the pain they caused them. However, carrying such emotional baggage is unhealthy and prevents you from fully moving forward.

Getting dumped tends to narrow down your vision on the painful moments without realizing that the happy moments far outweigh them. Remember your ex is also human with their own reasons. 

You don’t need to forgive or be friends with your ex immediately. The mature and healthy thing to do is to accept that you fell out of love and that you still have the capability to start fresh.

9. Go out somewhere

Nothing else better clears your head and heals your hurts than a good adventure. Be it a road trip, hiking up a mountain, or backpacking in different countries, traveling is a good way to overwrite negative feelings with fresh experiences. [Read: 15 reasons why you should travel at least once a year]

10. Distract yourself: revisit old plans and ambitions

Being in a relationship forces us to set some personal plans and ambitions aside to give time and attention to our partner. Now that you’re single, revisit and set those old plans into motion. 

Being productive is a good way to distract you from the breakup. Not only does it get your mind off unpleasant memories, but it also helps you get things done in your life.

11. Discover new hobbies and passions

Starting new hobbies after being dumped gives you a fresh perspective and allows you to meet new people along the way. You break off from your old routine and make room for new experiences.

12. Remember that it’s fine and awesome being single

Getting dumped always leaves the obvious question about whether you’ll entertain another relationship again. Depending on whether you’re ready, remember it’s fine to find happiness without a significant other.

Accepting this fact allows you to emotionally mature and become independent. Happiness and fulfillment aren’t only in a relationship. Being single has a lot of perks too. [Read: Why being single can be a lot of fun too]

13. Look towards and live for the future

The final step in moving on is knowing that relationships fail sometimes. The only way is to lick your wounds, stand up, and keep moving forward. It is a fact of life only learned the hard and painful way.

Remember that even though you got dumped, you always have a fresh start. Gain strength from the lessons you learned from your old relationship.

14. Reflect on what went wrong

You might have been blindsided by being dumped, but you should still do some reflection and see what went wrong in the relationship. Did you do something wrong? If so, what? Did your partner do something wrong? [Read: 42 Rules to forget someone you love and cared for as fast as possible]

It’s important to look back and do this sort of analysis. The reason for that is that you don’t want to repeat the same pattern or mistakes in the future. So, when figuring out what went wrong, you can learn and grow from it as a person. 

15. Don’t beg for them to take you back

When someone gets dumped, their first instinct is to beg and plead for another chance. Your emotions overwhelm you and all you want to do is feel better again. And you think that the only thing that will make you feel better is to have your partner again.

But you shouldn’t beg for another chance. That makes you look weak and will probably be a turn-off for your ex. The only way they would want to take you back is if you are a strong person who is moving on with your life. [Read: How to get your ex back and subtly convince them it’s the right thing to do]

16. Work on your self-esteem

No one likes it when someone breaks up with them. It takes a huge toll on our self-esteem. You wonder, “What’s wrong with me?” and “What are my flaws?” But there is nothing wrong with you. The relationship simply didn’t work out.

So, in order to feel better, don’t dwell on the negativity. Instead, look at all of your positive qualities and focus on them. You should have the mindset that it’s your ex’s loss that they broke up with you.

17. Accept it

A lot of people hold out hope that the person who dumped them will see the light and change their minds. But usually, it doesn’t happen that way. They broke up with you for a reason – even if you don’t know what it is.

So, all you can do is just accept it. You can fight against it in your mind, but it won’t make them come back to you. [Read: 16 lessons to recover from a breakup one day at a time and move ahead]

18. Start dating again

Instead of sitting around and moaning about how you got dumped, get out there again and start dating! Your ex is not the only fish in the sea. There are plenty of people out there who would love to date you. And now you have the opportunity to find someone who really appreciates you.

How to cope with being dumped – especially over text

19. Realize that it’s a cowardly move

It’s never easy to break up with someone, but mature people do it face-to-face. So, if your ex dumped you over text, that is a very cowardly thing to do. 

If they weren’t so immature, they would have had the courage to face you and have a conversation explaining why they were breaking up with you. You don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t have the basic human decency to look you in the eyes while saying goodbye.

20. Block their number

If they dumped you on text, they might still try to contact you for whatever reason. So, if it would upset you to see another text from them, then you should just block their number so you don’t have to see it anymore.

Handle being dumped with dignity

When someone gets dumped, sometimes their emotions overwhelm them and they do crazy things. But you want to be mature and take the high road. Don’t try to get revenge or do anything that you will regret. Think twice about everything you say and do.

[Read: How to mend your broken heart completely and move ahead]

There is no need to rush through the process of learning how to get over being dumped. The most important thing is realizing the only way to go is forward. Don’t lapse into the circumstances that brought you into that kind of pain.