20 Honest Signs It’s Time to Give Up on a Relationship & Stop Trying to Fix It

Knowing when to give up on a relationship is never easy. But do you know when to hold on versus when to let go?

People change. Feelings change. Perhaps the intense, fiery passion has now turned to ash, and you have no clue what to do. Relationships aren’t perfect, but there comes a point you should know when enough is enough, and it’s time to give up on a relationship.

As much as we want our relationships to last a lifetime, love just doesn’t work that way.

Sometimes, you hurt yourself further by holding on to a relationship and trying to mend it. So you’re only left with one choice, the most difficult choice of all – to let them go. [Read: 69 signs your relationship is over or on the verge of ending very soon]

Why do people choose to give up on relationships?

We want to say that love lasts forever, but that’s not the reality of life. No matter how much we fight for things to work, it’s pointless if you’re fighting alone. People give up for all kinds of reasons, and it’s not always because of cheating, betrayal, or something equally as severe.

Some relationships end because there’s an imbalance of effort; lack of trust, respect, or compatibility; or when both people grow apart. Relationships are hard work, and we’re not always lucky enough to find someone to spend the rest of our days with.

When someone chooses to give up, it’s often because the bad outweighs the good, and they start to lose hope in the relationship. Maybe they’ve been tolerating the relationship for so long, and, one day, they eventually woke up and lost patience. [Read: 20 valid reasons to break up with someone]

The honest signs to know when to give up on a relationship

If you aren’t sure if you should stay and fight for your relationship or decide to move on, these signs will help you figure out when there’s nothing more you can do for your relationship.

1. When you’re always looking back

A good sign of a healthy relationship is your ability to live in the present with no regrets from the past or fear of the future. However, if you feel so bogged down by your past that you can’t move on, then that’s a red flag.

One of the clear signs it’s time to give up on a relationship is when you’re looking backward at an old argument or a mistake either of you made instead of eagerly looking forward. [Read: 25 must-follow relationship rules for happy love]

2. When it’s more pain than bliss

A relationship isn’t perfect, and none ever will be. But one of the indicators that it’s time to give up on a relationship is when the pain outweighs the bliss. No matter how hard you try to be happy or bring happiness to the relationship, the pain is still more significant.

If your relationship leaves you more unhappy than happy, then there’s something wrong. That’s a clear sign, especially when you’ve been feeling unhappy for a while. [Read: Why does love hurt when it goes bad? The truth you need to hear]

3. When there’s always a condition

Love should be free and unconditional. If you find yourself working hard just to get your partner’s approval, affection, love, and loyalty, it’s the wrong relationship to be in. Love is the purest and most wholesome thing because it comes without conditions.

So if one of you is trying your absolute best to change the other or put pressure on them, that isn’t love – at least, not anymore. [Read: How to recognize and end toxic relationships]

4. When you have to convince yourself

When you wake up every day trying to plaster a smile on your face and convince yourself you’re in an incredible relationship, that’s a problem. You’re only fooling yourself.

You shouldn’t have to remind yourself that you’re in love; this is the part of love that should come naturally.

Yes, love is a choice more than a feeling, but you shouldn’t have to force yourself to feel happiness and love. So if you have to prove to yourself that you love them, this is one of the signs it’s time to give up on a relationship. [Read: 20 relationship problems that push a couple apart or bring them closer]

5. When there’s unresolved conflict and resentment

Maybe you are not fighting correctly, communicating effectively, or dealing with things in your relationship constructively and maturely. As a result, conflict often ensues. Or worse, you don’t resolve conflict at all.

Maybe your partner is afraid of confrontation, so you end up never resolving any conflict in your relationship.

But just as repressed emotions will break you, unresolved issues will destroy your relationship. So if you’re wondering when to give up on a relationship, just remember that a good or lasting relationship doesn’t foster resentment. [Read: Are you happy? Spotting the signs of resentment in a relationship]

6. When it’s going nowhere

When a relationship stagnates, it’s bound for rock bottom. If you keep fighting over the same issues even after you have already addressed them, then something’s got to give. Or, maybe your relationship is stuck at one phase for a lengthy period, and it’s not progressing anywhere.

While we fear change, we also need that element of change, especially in relationships. So if you feel stuck in the relationship, and you have for some time, it’s one of the signs that your relationship is going nowhere, and it’s time to move on. [Read: Reasons your relationship is at a standstill]

7. When you’re going nowhere

A healthy, positive relationship allows you both to grow in many ways as individuals. However, consider your role in the relationship. Do you feel stifled, like you’re stuck with the short end of the stick? If you’re not growing or changing positively, then you need to rethink whether your relationship is worth fighting for.

A relationship is all about growth, and it’s why being stuck in a relationship is one of the worst feelings in the world. You have to be free not only to be yourself but to live and grow as you please. [Read: How to fall out of love when you see no future]

8. When you fight more than you talk

Disagreements and arguments are unavoidable in relationships. In fact, consider these as stumbling blocks allowing you to come out stronger and better as a couple. But if all you do is fight, this will exhaust and drain every ounce of your energy until you have no more left to fight.

Constant fighting is also one of the signs that’s indicative of a toxic relationship, so this is never a good sign to stay with someone. Fights and arguments might be normal, but it doesn’t mean that should be all you do.

A healthy relationship needs proper and positive communication in order to thrive and last. If you’re not doing this, then it’s time to say goodbye. [Read: Fighting in a relationship – How to do it right]

9. When you’re just so different

They say opposites attract, but only to an extent. For a relationship to work, you must share even some semblance of similarity in your values, beliefs, and priorities. Otherwise, you’ll always end up clashing and shoving your beliefs down each other’s throats.

We never want to admit that having contrasting beliefs isn’t okay until we experience for ourselves what it’s like.

But most often, if you don’t debate each other to death, one of you is going to end up compromising and changing their core values for the relationship. But changing yourself for a relationship is never, ever the right thing to do. That’s when you know the relationship just won’t work out. [Read: Do opposites attract, or do they push each other away?]

10. When you’re not on the same page emotionally

Maybe you are more committed to the relationship than your partner is. Or maybe it’s the other way around.

What you need to ask yourself is if you want something more out of the relationship than your partner is prepared to give. Emotional intimacy is just as important as physical intimacy, so you can’t underestimate the importance of this.

If you’re never on the same page emotionally, this means your relationship might have reached the end of the line. Staying with your partner just because you hope that things will get better or your partner will finally want to move to the next level won’t work. You’ll end up disappointed.

Basically, you just love them for the potential they’ll meet your needs one day. But what if that day never comes? You can’t wait forever, and you shouldn’t have to. [Read: Emotional connection: 15 reasons and signs why it’s so important]

11. When you couldn’t care less

The opposite of love isn’t hate; the opposite of love is indifference. If you’ve been with your partner for quite a while and you find yourself apathetic to them, then there’s really no point in being together. This is a heartbreaking reason to end a relationship, but it happens.

When you stop caring about your partner or the relationship as a whole, you’ve already given up on your relationship. It’s time to make it official and stop leading your partner on. [Read: Clear signs you’re growing apart and don’t realize it]

12. When you’re losing your self-respect

A relationship needs a foundation of not only love but also respect. Aside from respecting each other, both of you should also have a healthy amount of self-respect.

If your partner somehow brings out your worst side and makes you lose respect for yourself entirely, this isn’t a relationship you should stay in any longer. Not when the ultimate sacrifice is yourself.

Trust us, keep whatever self-respect you have left, and just get out. [Read: How to respect yourself: The secrets of self-worth and self-belief]

13. When there’s no sex

Sex is, and will always be, a crucial part of a romantic relationship. It doesn’t matter if you’re not really going at it like bunnies, but if you are not sexually attracted to your partner anymore, then there’s something amiss.

Of course, you can always try to ignite the spark and remember the desire you once shared.

But if all your attempts prove futile, it may mean that there’s something more going on here than just a sex-dry spell. It could be that your relationship has run its natural course, and it’s time to give up. [Read: The lack of sex in a relationship: Why it happens & what it means]

14. When your future doesn’t have your partner in it

It’s so heartbreaking to come to the point where you no longer see your partner in your future, for whatever reason. People change, and sometimes, the things you want change too.

If either of you isn’t including the other in your long-term, or even short-term, plans, you have to ask what kind of relationship you’re in.

If your relationship no longer has a future, then why are you holding on? Sometimes, love just isn’t enough, and you have to accept that. [Read: Time to let go? Reasons why good relationships end]

15. You feel obligated to stay

Another heartbreaking reason, but love should never come with obligations. The very point of love is that it’s not forced, and you stay purely because you want to. If you feel like you can’t leave, that’s when to give up on a relationship.

Under no circumstance are you obligated to stay in the relationship, no matter how much you feel stuck or forced to. [Read: Relationship boredom – Why it happens and 23 zesty quick fixes to beat it]

16. You feel afraid to ask more from them

Communication is vital in a relationship. If you’re afraid to open up that you need more emotionally from them, it’s one of the signs it’s time to give up on a relationship. Maybe they invalidated your feelings before, or they continue to dismiss your needs and wants.

But the fact you’re afraid means you already know how they will respond, and that’s a red flag right there. If there’s an equal amount of respect in the relationship, then you should both respect one another’s voices.

The fact that you feel unable to express your needs means something is already wrong, and maybe it’s been like that for a long time – you just haven’t noticed until now. [Read: How to show respect in a relationship and love each other better]

17. Your loved ones don’t support the relationship

We want to believe that love conquers all and that love is that powerful. Unfortunately, that’s not what really happens. When your friends and family don’t support your relationship *unless they’re somehow toxic,* there’s something they obviously see that you don’t.

This is one of the red flags you shouldn’t ever ignore on when to give up on a relationship.

We never want to accept when our loved ones don’t support our relationship, so we try even harder to make love conquer the odds. But eventually, you’ll get exhausted fighting and start to see precisely why they don’t support your relationship. [Read: 17 signs of a supportive partner who encourages you and your goals]

18. You always think about breaking up

The fact that you’re always thinking about breaking up shows that you’re already on the verge of giving up on them. You might be thinking that it’s nothing and it’s no big deal. We all occasionally think about breaking up with our partners, right?

But, here’s the thing – if you’ve been feeling this way for a long time already, it’s one of the signs it’s time to give up on a relationship. This means your gut is already telling you what your mind doesn’t want to believe. [Read: How to break up with someone you love]

19. Your relationship is either toxic or manipulative

This should be an easy sign that your relationship isn’t worth holding on to. If your relationship is toxic or manipulative in any way, it’s no longer your responsibility to fix or change them.

The fact that the relationship is toxic means that the bad already outweighs the good to the point where you can’t turn things around.

The longer you stay, the worse it’ll just get. So if your partner is gaslighting you or controlling you, it’s time to say goodbye and cut ties for good. [Read: 15 signs of a toxic relationship that’ll go from bad to worse]

20. You enjoy being alone more than when you’re with them

We all need our alone time, and we can’t always be lovey-dovey with our partners. But if you’d rather be anywhere but by your partner’s side and you never miss them, even after spending significant time apart, then you have your answer on when to give up on a relationship – now.

You don’t have to miss your partner all the time, but if you no longer like spending time with them, you might just be falling out of love with them. [Read: Letting go of someone you love – Minus the bitterness]

Is there some fight left in your relationship, or is it time to give up?

These are all valid reasons to give up on your partner. We know how much you still want to fix things, but sometimes, it’s just too late. The more you try to do so, the more you hurt yourself trying.

Holding on to a relationship that’s over does you and your partner a massive injustice. Don’t stay in a union just for the sake of staying together. It’s better for both of you to know when to give up so you can move on to better places with a new chance at love and happiness.

[Read: Letting go of people: Why it’s so hard & the right way to do it]

Knowing when to give up on a relationship is necessary if you want to be happy. We never want to admit that it’s the end until we’re left with no other choice but to let them go. Now that you know the signs it’s time to give up on your relationship, you can save yourself and your partner some heartache.