19 Truths to Stop Cheating & Resist the Urge and Temptation to Be Unfaithful

Being classified as a cheater is never a good thing. But by learning how to stop cheating, you could save your relationship!

These days, stories about cheating – from casual one-night stands to full-blown emotional entanglements with second families – are not uncommon. But it shouldn’t be the norm. In fact, you should learn how to stop cheating as fast as possible.

The fact that you’re here reading this article means you really do want to change, and you see the error of your ways. However, the thing with cheating is, things can get complicated; you get mixed up in all the lies until things become very tangled.

It’s easy to get caught up in the lies and deception you’ve already started, but you could also choose to break free. It’s great that you’ve taken the first step, but the hardship doesn’t stop there. Similar to addiction, it’s easy to keep coming back to the lies. [Read: Once a cheater always a cheater – The truth of their past]

Why do we cheat when we know it’s bad?

Cheating is the worst possible thing you can do in a relationship. It’s betraying the trust of the one person you love. So why do we cheat in the first place? Not to validate cheating, but people cheat for lots of reasons.

Maybe because either their physical or emotional needs weren’t being met, or their partners have changed into someone they no longer recognize. It could also be because they no longer love their partner and can’t handle confronting them about it.

Look, there are several possibilities, but none of them ever make cheating valid or OK. But we do it anyway. And once you’ve cheated, it isn’t easy to turn back.

You have to live with that guilt and shame for a significant period and somehow, you don’t turn back because you feel stuck in your choices. But you can always learn how to stop cheating – if you want to. [Read: What is cheating in a relationship? The truth most people ignore]

How to stop cheating for good

Let’s break it down step-by-step so you can untangle yourself when temptation strikes.

1. Remove yourself from the temptation

If you don’t want to get knocked out, you stay out of the way of speeding cars. That means keeping out of situations where you will be tempted to cheat.

If you’re truly serious about learning how to stop cheating, remove the temptations around you. After all, prevention is better than cure. So if something triggers you to cheat, remove that thing, or remove yourself from the scenario. [Read: 10 vital steps you need to take to resist the temptation to cheat in love]

2. Think things over

There are many kinds of affairs—some are just casual sexual encounters, whilst some are deeper. It might be easier to let go of casual encounters than affairs where you’re emotionally attached. If you are still in love with your other partner, you have to make a decision to stop.

However, when things are more complicated than that (like when you are also in love with the one you’re having an affair with), then you need to think through your options carefully. Decide how much time you need. Meanwhile, tell your lover that you need space. [Read: 18 signs you’re probably having an emotional affair and don’t realize it]

3. Figure out why

People have different reasons for cheating. You may have your own reasons, and you believe these are pretty legitimate reasons.

More often than not, though, these are just excuses. So if you really want to learn how to stop cheating, you need to figure out the reasons behind your behavior.

Did you fall out of love with your partner? Is your partner emotionally detached? Are you in an abusive relationship and your lover provides you with a safe haven? Do you just want to have sex or to prove to yourself that you are still attractive?

These are questions you need to ask yourself, and be honest when answering them. If you lie, you’re really only lying to yourself. [Read: 20 Valid reasons to break up with someone]

4. Assess your affair

Once you have figured out why you are cheating, assess your affair. Do you think it’s really worth it? Is it worth betraying, deceiving, and hurting your partner? Is it really worth running around behind your partner’s back?

Most often, an affair really isn’t worth it, and people often end up going back to their original lovers. Assessing your affair can also help you weigh up not only your options, but – most importantly – the consequences of your actions. Remember, you may not only be hurting your partner, but your lover as well.

Cheating doesn’t just impact you, but everyone around you. [Read: To cheat or not to cheat? A guide to help you make up your mind]

5. Assess your relationship

It is also important to consider your here-and-now, i.e. your relationship with your partner. Many people turn to extramarital affairs or affairs outside of their relationship because they feel their partners lack something, or that their relationship has taken a turn for the worse.

If you cheated because of something you could still fix, it’s never too late to try to fix it. Did you even try, or did you just immediately decide it’s all over?

Once you have figured out why you are having an affair, and what your affair truly means to you, you can weigh it against what’s at stake — your relationship. [Read: 50 relationship questions to test your compatibility instantly!]

6. Count your blessings

Often, people don’t appreciate what they have, so they desire things they cannot have. For you, this could be a case of “the grass is greener on the other side.”

To help you gain perspective, try to see your partner with fresh eyes. Open your heart to all the possibilities of what you already have, instead of wanting more.[Read: Emotional cheating and 10 bad things to can do for everyone involved]

7. Avoid comparisons

If you’re serious about learning how to stop cheating, don’t compare your partner with other people. How would you feel if they did the same to you?

People have their strengths and weaknesses, and whatever is so much more beautiful, exciting, different, and desirable in your lover may just be a product of the honeymoon phase.

You may also find your ideal is impossible. There is no perfect, especially in relationships. The sooner you come to terms with this, the better. [Read: 5 Easy ways to stop comparing your new guy to your ex]

8. Take action

Now it’s time for action. You have to make a decision: choose one or the other. You can’t have both; we don’t live in a perfect world. The fact you cheated means you need to live with the consequences of your actions.

If you choose your lover over your partner, then you have to split with your lover, and ensure a clean break.

However, if you decide to stay with your partner and let go of your affair, then you have to follow the next steps. Once you choose, that’s it. You can’t take back your decision. [Read: 10 signs you’re completely losing interest in your own relationship]

9. Stop any communication

Aside from physically removing yourself from the situation *such as avoiding going to places where you might see your lover*, you should also stop any communication. If you have to change your number, delete theirs, and block them from your phone and social media accounts, do so.

The key to learning how to stop cheating is to be persistent with this change in your life. This often requires cutting off all communication with your lover. [Read: Cutting people out of your life – Learn how to do it right]

10. No last-time sex or meet-ups

It is better to end things briefly and abruptly, without giving them a chance to lure you back. This makes things much easier for you. By meeting up with them again to talk things over, *there really should be nothing else to talk about*, you are also exposing yourself to the risk of being found out by your partner.

Most importantly, it tempts you to be physical with them one last time. Cheating is like an addiction – it’s challenging to get out once you’re in. [Read: How to end an affair the right way and get over it completely]

11. Talk to your partner

OK, so this is the hard part. Now is the time to focus on making your relationship work, or even make it better.

One of the things people who cheat often fail to do is identify how they can make their relationship better. You can save yourselves a whole lot of trouble if you guys just talk.

Communication is key for any relationship, so just talk if you want to save your failing relationship from breaking apart. Simple as that. It’s up to you whether you come clean about the affair; what is essential is that you talk.

Take time to listen to your partner’s side and from there, work on a solution. [Read: A guide on effective communication in a relationship]

12. Rekindle your love

Most likely, you cheated because of something lacking in your relationship: a lack of physical affection, intimacy, communication, or a misunderstanding. You wouldn’t cheat if you were genuinely happy with your partner, no matter how strong the temptation.

Remember, it is not your partner’s fault that you cheated. You have to take responsibility for your actions. What you can do now is to make extra effort to rekindle the love that you almost lost. Go out more often with your partner, talk more, and be positive influences on each other.

If you lack spontaneity in your relationship, work on that. If you are not having enough sex, find ways to spice up your sex life. [Read: The practical steps you need to take to rebuild trust after cheating on your partner]

13. Consider counseling

If you’ve exhausted everything and things still aren’t working, then you should consider marital or relationship counseling. Talk to a professional about your troubles.

If you really want to save your relationship and don’t want to waste those years of being together, relationship counseling is your best option. [Read: Relationship counseling – The signs you need it to save your love]

14. Avoid the what-ifs

You will never be able to learn how to stop cheating if you focus on the what-ifs. Your affair happened; you can’t change the facts. But you can’t dwell on any kind of potential future together if you want things to work out in your relationship.

If you’re going to stop the cycle of cheating once and for all, stop thinking about what could’ve been. Cut your lover out of your life, and leave it at that. [Read: Relationship anxiety – 20 mistakes you need to stop making]

15. Look inward

Sometimes, cheating has nothing to do with our relationship or partner, but has everything with our issues. Maybe you don’t have the confidence to feel loved, or you don’t know how to take care of yourself.

Maybe you think you’re someone not worth loving, so you sabotage a beautiful thing when you get it. Fix the issue otherwise the cycle will continue through all your relationships. [Read: 19 signs of emotional damage and ways to get past them]

16. Decide what you really want

Cheating can often be a passive-aggressive way of sabotaging your relationship, when you’re too scared to leave outright. You need to decide what you really want from the relationship if you want to learn how to stop cheating.

If all you’re after is splitting with your partner, realize that you can always just break up with them. If you’re that unhappy, your partner doesn’t deserve the trauma of being cheated on. Just leave. [Read: How to stop being passive aggressive and get out of the toxic state]

17. Realize the implications of cheating

When you cheat on someone, it’s as if you’re telling them they’re not enough. This realization hurts, and it’s just one of the many implications of cheating.

Another is that you’ll likely never be able to maintain a long-term relationship. You will end up alone if you continue your cycle of cheating. This is why it’s so crucial to learn how to stop cheating if you want to be happy in life.

18. Use cheating to make your relationship stronger

You’ve done the act, and there’s no way to reverse what you already did. The best thing you can do is use cheating to highlight the existing issues in your relationship and work on them. This can be how you rebuild your relationship into a happy and contented one, so you don’t cheat ever again.

There was something wrong with your relationship, which may be why you cheated. So by fixing the foundation of your relationship, you can fix this too. [Read: Quick tips to make your relationship a little better]

19. Keep yourself busy

If you find yourself constantly giving into temptation, this is the time to keep yourself busy. Hit the gym, exercise, go running, or take a hike.

The next time you’re tempted to call your lover, keep yourself distracted – otherwise you will give in to your urges. Cheating is a choice; while you can’t control your emotions, you have a say in what you choose to do with them. [Read: The best ways to stop moaning and stay busy after a breakup]

Learning how to stop cheating will never be easy, but it’s necessary

Cheating doesn’t necessarily make you a “bad” person. However, cheating always opens a Pandora’s box of awful problems.

Cheating shows your need for intimacy, connection, and a renewed sense of self. However, you really don’t have to look far to have those needs met!

[Read: 17 secret ingredients to a happy, monogamous relationship]

The key to learning how to stop cheating on your partner is to completely detach yourself from the person you were having an affair with. Be persistent in avoiding temptation, and remove yourself from the situation if you have to.