18 Sneaky, Charming Ways to Get a Guy to Ask You Out & Make Him Date You

You’re texting and talking, but it doesn’t seem to be going any further. Frustration! Learn how to get a guy to ask you out and stop the wondering. 

There are many ways to ask a guy out, but if you want to make sure that you end up going on a date, you have to remember to never make it obvious that you have a huge crush on him. Instead, it’s better to learn how to get a guy to ask you out and make it all seem like his own idea!

A guy may want to ask you out, but when he realizes that you like him a lot more than he likes you, he’ll start to take it easy just to see what you’d do about it. Yes, guys love to play mind games!

The key is to give him just enough to let him know that you’re going to say “yes” and make him think it’s all his own idea. Sneaky, right? [Read: Should I ask her out? 30 signs she’s waiting for you to make a move]

Why not just ask him yourself?

Making the first move seems pretty daunting, especially as a woman. That is why it is more subtle and less nerve-racking to learn how to get him to ask you out instead.

For sure, you can go ahead and ask him. You’re perfectly entitled to do so. But let’s be honest, it feels good to be asked out, doesn’t it?

So, how do you find the happy medium between flirting and desperation? And how can you make it clear that you are available without being over the top?

Finding a balance when it comes to getting him to ask you out is not always easy. However, it can be easier with a little guidance. [Read: The signs he uses to tell you he is interested in more than friendship]

Power play and first dates

You might not realize it, but there’s an exchange of power going on when someone is asked out on a date. The person doing the asking is laying themselves out pretty vulnerable. They’re risking a flat-out refusal and that’s going to sting.

In that case, the person who is asked has all the power at that point. If you want to learn how to get a guy to ask you out successfully, you need to be the one with the power. That means you need to show him that you’re interested, but don’t make him too sure. Also, give him the opportunity to ask, without being too evasive or too cold.

It’s a balancing act, for sure, but if you want to avoid having to do the asking yourself, you need to keep that beacon of power firmly in your hands and don’t give him too much to play with. That’s how you get him to ask you out. [Read: Cute and creative ways to ask someone out on a date]

How to get a guy to ask you out without having to risk refusal yourself

There are two things a girl has to do to wow a guy and get him to ask her out.

You have to drop a few signs and you need to become desirable in his eyes. It sounds simple right? Well, it’s probably not as easy as it sounds but it’s not impossible either! [Read: How to make a man fall in love with you]

It’s best to start by dropping a few hints so he starts to look at you as dating potential. Sometimes, a guy may assume you’d never be interested in being anything more than friends with him. In that case, he’s not going to do the asking, is he?

If you want to know how to get him to ask you out, you need to make him see you as someone he could date.

Here are some tips you can use to bag that date without having to ask him out yourself. Remember, don’t use these strategies all at once, but a few at a time. [Read: 25 ways to avoid the friend zone and build sexual tension from the start]

1. Get your friend to call you both a couple

When you’re having a fun chat with the guy you like, ask a trusted girl friend to join both of you in the conversation. It would be preferable if there are other friends around too. Out of the blue, let your trusted friend comment and say something like, “these two make a cute couple, don’t they?”

It’s an awkward statement and one that’ll definitely lead to a few laughs around the group. But when all is said and done, no matter how embarrassed you pretend to be or how he behaves, the thought will still linger in his head. [Read: Can a girl ask a guy out before he asks her out?]

2. Use a friend to tease him

Brief your friend on the situation and get her to butt in the next time you’re talking to the guy you like. Ask her to tell him that it’s so obvious he likes you, and ask when he’s ever going to work up the courage to ask you out.

Of course, she has to make it seem like a joke, and yet, pose it as a serious question.

It’s straightforward and easy, and yet, if he does like you, he’ll use this opportunity to ask you out himself. [Read: How to tease a guy – 15 ways to make him realize he likes you]

3. Invite him to join you

If you’ve made any plans with your friends for the weekend, casually bring the subject up when you’re hanging out with him and invite him to come out with all of you. Tell him it’ll be fun to hang out together and check out a new place.

It’s nowhere close to a proposal, but it’s still a step closer to making him like you. [Read: 30 naughty ways to get out of the friend zone in no time]

4. Look for common interests in weekend plans

Ask him what he does over the weekend. Then, fake a happy surprise and tell him you like doing that too! If you’re not sure of his weekend activity, you could just tell him that you’ve always wanted to try that.

This only works if both of you share a few common interests. You obviously can’t stretch a lie here, so be careful when it comes to committing to an activity you hate!

If he is interested in you, he may invite you to join him on his weekend activity. And who knows, it may just lead to something more romantic. [Read: Sure signs a guy is into you]

5. Subtly let him know your routine

If a guy has to ask you out, he has to miss you now and then. Do you live nearby? Then this would be the perfect way to get to spend more time together.

During one of your conversations, let him know what you do every evening after work or college, especially if you have a neighborhood café or gym. you always go to.

If you drop a hint and let him know about your routine, he may even end up bumping into you on a regular basis. After all, love emerges with more time together, right?

6. Get him to drive you nearby as a favor

Stepping out of the office to run an errand after work? Try bumping into him on your way out and ask him to come along with you or drive you nearby to help you out.

And after finishing up your errand, ask him out for coffee. Insist and tell him it’s the least you can do for helping you out. And once you’re out there on a *date* with him, make him see your good side and be awed by you. [Read: How to flirt with a guy without being obvious]

7. Play the damsel in distress

Ask him for help. This is a trick that always works. Guys just can’t help themselves when a pretty girl asks for a bit of help.

Ask him if he can fix your wooden window panels or something else you can think of. If he likes you, he’ll use any excuse to be with you. And after he’s done helping you, thank him with your sweetest smile and reward him with coffee or a homemade lunch. [Read: How to play the damsel in distress the right way]

8. Fake sickness, but look sexy

This is a dirty move, but hey, if it’s a great way to get him into your place, what’s wrong with it, right? When you’re in a conversation with him at the end of the day or when you’re out with him, pretend like you have a terrible headache or use the evergreen stomach cramp excuse.

He’ll ask you if you need help getting home, and of course, you should indulge his request. And once he takes you home, invite him in and change into your cute-n-revealing pj’s. Let him see how beautiful you look. [Read: How to seduce a man who’s not yours]

9. Let him know you’re open to dating

Let him know that you’re looking and ready for a relationship. Once you’ve warmed him up with lots of together time and happy conversations, he should know that you’re available for him if he musters the courage to ask you out.

Most of the time, a guy may like you too but he may be scared to pop the question. By dropping a few hints about your single status, he may eventually work up the courage to ask you out.

10. Make him a little jealous – but only a little

If you think that he likes you, you could try and stir that green-eyed monster within by trying to make him jealous. However, you need to play it a little cautiously here so as not to push him too far.

Be seen with a guy and see what his reaction is. Make eye contact with him while you’re with the other guy and let him know almost subliminally that you’d rather be with him. [Read: How to make a guy jealous – 20 wicked ways to win his attention]

Of course, the fact you’re with someone else should make him green with envy anyway. That might be enough of a push to get him to ask you out.

11. Flirt it up a little more

You need to let him know that you like him, but only a little. You need to keep that seed of doubt in his mind as to whether he’s reading you correctly or not. Remember the power play we talked about earlier?

So, when you’re flirting with him, play it right up to the point of being clear that you’re flirting, but stop before you go the whole way. You’ll drive him crazy because he’ll wonder why you stopped. The only way for him to find out is to go for it and ask you out. [Read: What is flirting? The science behind this common act]

12. Change your appearance

Now, we’re not suggesting that you change your appearance for a guy. You should only do this for yourself, but it doesn’t hurt that it’s going to make his attention turn firmly your way, does it? A sexy new hairstyle should do it, or perhaps change your dress style a little and dress a little sexier than you normally would.

When you couple that with a little extra flirting, he’ll be asking you out in no time! [Read: How to be more attractive – 31 ways to play up your best features]

13. Use social media to your advantage

Assuming you’re friends on social media platforms, you can send funny gifs or jokes to one another. The more you do this, the more he’s going to see that you’re making an effort to speak to him.

However, remember not to overdo it. Don’t bombard him and don’t leave public messages on his page either. DMs are always the way forward here.

Of course, you can also use social media to make him a little jealous too, with a few carefully posted “look at how much fun I’m having” pictures and check-ins! That’s one way to learn how to get him to ask you out. [Read: Instagram flirting – how it’s secretly ruining your relationship]

14. Make sure your body language isn’t putting him off

You might not be aware of what your body language is actually saying but it’s very powerful. Your words might say one thing, but your body might say something entirely different!

Make sure that you’re showing positive body language by avoiding crossing your arms over your body, making eye contact, nodding along to what he’s saying to show you’re listening, and mirroring his body language.

Also, avoid fidgeting because he’ll either think you’re lying or extremely nervous! [Read: Subtle body language moves to appear more confident]

15. Smile and laugh plenty

A guy is more likely to ask you out if you’re fun to be around. A little mystery is never a bad thing but it’s better if you’re smiley and happy whenever he’s around. Then, he’ll want to be part of your smiley and happy world!

Of course, don’t grin like a crazy person just for the sake of it, but make sure that you spend more time smiling than you do frowning or pouting. In our experience, resting bitch face doesn’t get you very far when trying to learn how to get a guy to ask you out!

16. Use your humor when flirting

Flirting begins with a simple conversation. Start a chat about your boss, share a funny story, or even show them a hilarious meme you recently came across.

Humor is probably the best way to catch his eye. If he knows you can laugh together and have a good time, he will want to spend more time with you.

To ensure this laughing isn’t taken as strictly platonic, be sure to add subtle hints of attraction. Touch his shoulder or arm during conversation, play with your hair, and be sure to smile a lot *but in a normal way, not a creepy Joker way*. [Read: Easy ways to flirt with your crush and make them fall hard]

17. Drop heavy hints about things you want to do

To make it super obvious that you want him to ask you out, without coming out and saying that, mention something you want to do. Bring up a restaurant you have been dying to go to or a movie that looks amazing. Even bring up an activity you love to do, like hiking.

This gives him his perfect opening to take you on a date. [Read: 15 things you need to do now that you know your crush likes you]

18. Use the old “we should do that sometime” line

Without actually asking him out yourself, you can say “we should do that” or “we should go together sometime” regarding a concert, activity, or whatever else you can think of.

If he doesn’t turn that idea into a solid plan, go for a guy who can more easily pick up on these far-from-subtle hints you’ve thrown his way. [Read: 33 awesome date ideas every couple should try]

And if all else fails…

If he’s still flirting up a storm and not really getting to the point of asking you out, you could do the most obvious thing in the world – ask him yourself.

Maybe he’s just totally oblivious to the hints you’ve been dropping and, in that case, continuing to hope he can read your mind just isn’t going to work. You’ve got nothing to lose anyway!

If it turns out that he doesn’t want to date right now or he’s already seeing someone, at least you know. You can stop wasting your time and move on to someone who is available.

[Read: Why don’t guys ask me out? True reasons that may hold the answer]

Give these moves a try if you’re trying to figure out how to get a guy to ask you out. If these don’t work, we don’t know what else will!