16 Lessons to Recover from a Breakup One Day at a Time & Move Ahead

Breakups will always feel like the worst as the love of your life is suddenly gone. So if you want to learn how to recover from a breakup, keep reading.

We hate to quote the cliche that time heals all wounds, but it is true… at least partly. Time does have a lot to do with it, but there are plenty of things you can do to learn how to recover from a breakup as well.

When you go through a rough breakup, it can feel like the pain will last forever, no matter the circumstances.

You can’t even see a time in the future where you will be okay. But it is there, and it will come.

There’s nothing we can say that will change the facts of what already happened or how painful it feels, but we can tell you how to recover from a breakup.

Your mindset and desire to recover from a breakup is what will get you there. As much as time helps, without the desire to move forward, you could get stuck in the aftermath of a breakup for a long time, too long.

[Read: 10 stages of a breakup and how to get through each of them]

Why you need to learn how to recover from a breakup

Whether you are coming off of a fresh breakup, anticipating one, or are single, learning how to recover from a breakup will only do you good. If you learn how to recover from a breakup now, you will take what you learned with you forever. It can help you now, in two months, or even two or ten years from now.

These are the lessons you should never forget.

After all, if you let the breakup destroy you or even stop you from falling in love again, that’s not good. We know that it can be tempting to just cry about your feelings all the time and complain about how much you miss them, but breakups happen for a reason.

Going through something as painful as a breakup and coming out the other side stonier is something you will always carry with you. If you manage to learn from the lessons the breakup is teaching you and recover from it, this experience is guaranteed to make you stronger. [Read: How to get through a breakup – 30 ways to get you back on track]

Why do relationships have to end?

We’ve all watched romance movies and fairytales that convince us love lasts forever. So every relationship we enter, we want that to be our end game.

However, the cards aren’t always in our favor. Sometimes, relationships end and fall apart. There are things out of control, and life can happen, which can cause the end of a relationship.

Maybe you’re the wrong person for one another, maybe something is lacking, or maybe one of you wasn’t ready to commit. Even as you never wanted a breakup to happen, it occurred anyway and now you’re left to deal with the aftermath.

So learning how to recover from a breakup is a necessary part of the process if you don’t want this heartbreak to define you.

Honestly, you might have trouble seeing it now, but you’ll fall in love again – multiple times after this breakup. You will love and get hurt repeatedly throughout your life. That’s what life is all about. [Read: 20 valid reasons to break up with someone]

How to recover from a breakup and face your future with happiness

When a breakup is fresh, the wound from it is still raw. You are in shock and can’t even imagine recovering. That is fine and totally normal. You need that time to grieve, but it cannot last forever.

Recovering from a breakup comes in stages. Deal with all the feelings as they erupt and continue to live your life.

Your relationship ended, your life didn’t.

1. Cry

Let out the bad stuff. You know how before you redecorate a room, you need to get rid of the bad stuff that no longer brings you joy? Well, you do the same right now.

Cry out all those tears. Think of it as purging the sadness, the anger, the shock. Let it all out. Stuff your face with junk food. Stay in bed all day. Let yourself have that time.

You have been hurt and lost something, and you deserve it. Don’t repress the pain and heartbreak you’ve been feeling.

You have to sit with your emotions if you want to know how to recover from a breakup, no matter how uncomfortable it might feel. But, just don’t let this phase last too long. [Read: The right way to survive the first 168 hours after a break up]

2. Vent

It’s always therapeutic to vent and rant your problems to someone you trust. Whether it’s a best friend, sibling, or even a co-worker, you shouldn’t hold everything inside. Talk about the breakup. Vent about your ex. Share your shock and how you feel betrayed.

That is what your friends are there for. Have some wine, order a pizza, and just dish. They are there to support you when you’re down and help lift you up once you’re ready.

We promise you; you’ll feel instantly better once you vent about your ex. Finally being able to let that out will be a big relief. [Read: How long does it take to get over someone – The exact timeline to forget old love]

3. Purge

We know we said the crying was purging, but that was emotional purging. Now we’re talking about purging stuff. Get rid of your ex’s toothbrush, their sweatshirt, anything that negatively reminds you of them can go.

Their belongings and stuff no longer have a purpose in your life, so get rid of them in whatever manner you want. It is up to you whether or not to return it to them, but keep it away from your healing space. On the same wavelength, you should probably also mute or block them from your socials.

Social media is the biggest culprit when you have a hard time moving on from an ex, so blocking them avoids any tendency to stalk them or even talk to them! You can even do something less drastic like muting them if you’re not comfortable with blocking them. [Read: Should I block my ex? 17 signs and clues to help you decide what’s best for you] 

4. Refresh

Give yourself a boost. Do something for yourself. Go shopping, go to the spa, have a weekend away with your friends.

Pamper yourself. That means something different for all of us, but do something you enjoy. Maybe that is something your ex didn’t approve of, or maybe it is something you just never got around to.

Whatever it is, do it. As cliche as it sounds, the best way to learn how to recover from a breakup is to prioritize yourself and focus on self-love. So do something that allows you to shift the focus from your ex to yourself. You can even get a haircut or go blonde if you want to! [Read: How to heal after you’ve been hurt by someone you loved]

5. Look on the bright side

We know this is hard to do when you’re trying to learn how to recover from a breakup, but it will help. Rationalizing and looking at your situation pragmatically can actually help.

At first, the practicalness of it all will make you roll your eyes. Your emotions are often much more powerful than facts.

But if you continue to remind yourself of the positive aspects of this breakup, those thoughts will influence your feelings in time. Make a pro list of the breakup. Maybe you don’t have to deal with your ex’s annoying friends. Maybe you can watch your favorite show without complaints.

Your relationship was not perfect, no matter how much you are dwelling on the good and missing it right now. Think about what you always complained about.

If your mind can’t go there, talk to a close friend that you vent to. They will be more than happy to remind you that there are benefits to this breakup. [Read: How to be more positive – 24 steps to a dramatic and happy life shift]

6. Keep busy

This is one of the most helpful ways to recover from a breakup. Taking time off of work and moping around the house will not do you any favors. After all, when you are not preoccupied with something, your mind will return to the breakup.

You have to stay productive to avoid thinking of your ex and being consumed by missing them.

Otherwise, you’ll go back to square one, where you won’t want to get out of bed because you miss them *a lot*. Whether that is work, cleaning the house, doing your taxes, or even binge-watching the show everyone has been telling you to watch – just stay busy.

Before you know it, you’ll go weeks without your ex even coming across your mind. [Read: How to forget an ex for good – 19 proven ways to move on happily]

7. Do something for others

Now, you have already done something for yourself. But, doing something for others will make you feel even better. It will also give you perspective. Whether you help your neighbor move furniture, pay for the person behind you at the coffee shop, or donate to charity, this is a great way to use your breakup energy for something good.

When you’re focused on doing something nice for others, it puts your mind off your ex *at least for a while* and onto others. It’s a selfless act that helps you recover from a breakup.

Breakups can give us a surge of energy in many situations that are used for pettiness or revenge. But instead, focus that rage or sadness on a more positive outlet. [Read: Pay it forward – 20 positive ways to create a chain of goodwill]

8. Write it down

Journaling is one of the most therapeutic things in the world that many people overlook, and this goes for even learning how to recover from a breakup. When you write all your pain and difficult feelings down on paper, it puts things in perspective and encourages you to let go of the burden you’ve been holding inside.

Write down all of your feelings, no matter how ridiculous or pathetic you think they are. And then burn it, shred it, toss it out. Getting it all out and getting rid of it can be so cathartic.

If that isn’t enough for you, try therapy. It sounds like a lot if you aren’t used to it, but having a professional ask all the right questions and guide you in the right direction is invaluable.

9. Enjoy yourself

You are single. Instead of dwelling on the negatives of that, enjoy the benefits. You have freedom and independence that you didn’t have before. You can pick up and go on a weekend trip.

You can go on dates for fun, not for the future. Instead of seeing your heartbreak as the biggest disastrous event of your life, focus on the fact that you have freedom again.

You get to do the things you want to do again without anyone controlling you or telling you how to live your life. Enjoy this time. You can learn a lot about yourself. [Read: How to be happy being single and explore the freedom of singledom]

10. Analyze

Once the sting of the initial breakup is gone, you should be able to look back on that relationship and how it ended and learn something. Appreciate that time in your life for what it taught you. Breakups are a significant learning opportunity, only if you actually apply the lessons in them.

If you want to learn how to recover from a breakup, analyze the relationship you had, why it ended, and other significant lessons it taught you. You’re guaranteed to learn a thing or two just by reflecting and analyzing.

Think about what you want in the future and what you don’t. How can you change your behavior in the future based on what happened here? [Read: 15 very important lessons you can learn from your own breakups]

11. Let go

Once you can take positive lessons from that breakup and move forward, you know how to recover from a breakup. People we were close to once will always have a place in our hearts and memories. But, the pain of a breakup does not have to sour you forever.

At some point when you’re ready, you need to stop holding a grudge and just let it go. Accept the breakup had to happen so both of you can move forward into better relationships – ones you’re really meant to find.

But you can’t do that if you’re stuck on the wrong person, right? So let go. [Read: Letting go of someone you love – minus the bitterness]

12. Talk to supportive people

Your friends and relatives can help, but make sure you know what they can and can’t do. You might decide that professional help from therapists might be more appropriate and valuable, and they might be able to give you a more neutral and long-term view.

If a relationship is broken, they can also point out deeper patterns of behavior or thinking that the relationship may be a sign of. This way, future relationships will be healthier and happier. [Read: How to help your ex get over you, move on and find peace]

13. Sleep, eat, exercise

This is the time when it’s most important to stay on top of your regular cycle, even if you’re attempting to throw everything out your window. If you can, try to stay as close to your normal sleep and eating schedule as possible, and try to release your extra anger or energy in the gym instead.

If you can at least attempt to go through the motions, you’ll speed up the healing process and get the answer to your concerns about how to recover from a breakup. It may be hard at first, but it will help. [Read: 30 inspirational tips on how to get motivated to exercise]

14. Set up firm boundaries

People who break up often end up in an on-again, off-again, confusing relationship that almost always worsens their heartache. Many people think they should not talk to their ex about things that haven’t been worked out, but this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do this. If you’d like, you can talk to them and seek closure. Sometimes, reconciliation may be in the cards as well. [Read: The most important rules to get back with an ex and protect your heart]

But as much as you can, you should try to stay away from that person after a breakup. It’s not very different from going through drug detox: There is a challenging withdrawal period, but it’s the only way of moving forward and recovering. [Read: The 20 best questions to ask your ex after a breakup to find true closure]

15. Read books about breakups

The silent words on a page have the ability to be relaxing in a manner that nothing else can match. It also aids in the recovery of parts of your brain that may have been shut down or stressed as a result of your emotions.

Eager to learn the tips on how to recover from a breakup? Start by reading books about breakups in a relationship and see how it will change you. [Read: The 15 best books to read after a breakup and begin your healing]

It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken, by Greg Behrendt, is a straightforward self-help book on ending a relationship. It may help you regain control of your thoughts, and will help you speed your healing process.

16. Meet new people

It is normal for a person to need between three to six months of recovery before they are ready to begin dating again after a divorce or separation. If one wants to restore one’s feeling of self-worth, it is most useful to approach the situation from this perspective.

The most important factor in establishing a successful recovery is to go forward at a gradual and systematic speed throughout the process. [Read: How to meet new people – 16 exciting ways to find a new crowd]

How to recover from a breakup

All said and done, recovering from a breakup is easier said than done.

It takes a lot of acceptance, patience, self-love, and most importantly, trial-and-error.

You won’t heal from your heartbreak overnight but eventually, there will come the day you won’t miss them as much anymore.

[Read: How long does it take to get over a breakup? The real timeline]

Hopefully, these tips have helped you gain insight into how to recover from a breakup. It won’t bend easy process, but it’ll make you stronger. And soon, you’ll be a lot happier too!