15 Stages & Sensual Tricks to Know If You’re Being Seduced By Someone

Seduction is a game of smoke and mirrors. But there are ways to see through the magic tricks. Here’s how you can tell if someone is subtly seducing you.

Seduction employs discreet and unassuming tricks. That’s why some people manage to fall into that trap in the first place. But despite this, seduction still needs to follow a specific formula for it to work effectively.

Once you understand how to know if you’re being seduced, you’ll become immune to their charms and easily see through their motives. [Read: Fractionation seduction – what it is & how guys use emotions to seduce]

The stages of being seduced

As we said, there’s a specific formula that seducers use to deploy their charm. But what is this specific formula? We’ll walk you through it: [Read: Lusty signs of sexual attraction to keep an eye on]

1. The friendly stage 

The “friendly” stage is a prerequisite to seducing someone. Of course, seducers won’t initially come on strong. That has a great risk of failure.

To increase their success, they will first establish a friendly relationship with their target. Then, whittle them down into submission.

Consequently, it is impossible to detect seduction in this phase because the interaction involved is casual and friendly.

This stage is also important in seduction as the seducer will use this phase to gather information about their target and formulate their seduction strategy. Once they have gathered enough information, they will proceed to the disarming stage. [Read: Friendly vs. flirty – 34 subtle flirting signs to tell if someone is flirting with you]

2. The disarming stage

The disarming stage is the longest and most important phase of seduction. Here, the seducer never hints that they are trying to sleep with you.

Instead, they appeal to your emotion, interests, and passions. They manipulate you into thinking that they want and enjoy spending time with you.

A patient seducer will take their time until their target believes that they’re the one who has started to like their seducer. Once that happens, the victim can easily agree to a sexual encounter even without the seducer initiating.

3. The attack

If the disarming stage is done perfectly, a seducer may not even have to be aggressive in initiating sex. Sometimes, seducers test their luck and lay down the perfect scenario in making their attack.

In this stage, they will make the first obvious move that will undoubtedly lead to sex. [Read: Body language attraction – 58 male and female signs and how to read and use them]

The tell-tale signs you’re being seduced

If you’ve ever wondered if you’re being seduced by someone, keep an eye on these signs. Sometimes, your instincts may tell you you’re being seduced even if the person isn’t being overly obvious about it.

1. You receive a lot of attention from them

The first obvious sign of seduction is getting an unusually high volume of attention from a specific person. Even more attention than other people around them.

Such attention can take many forms, but the first thing to keep in mind is that the attention the seducer will give you will be something very appealing to you. Remember, attention can be quite addictive, and seducers know that. [Read: Friendly sex? 20 hushed signs your friend wants to have sex with you]

a. They will communicate frequently – If you exchange a lot of texts, calls, instant messages, and social media interactions, be wary. You might be in the crosshairs of a seducer.

b. They place themselves nearby – If you notice that the suspected seducer starts to frequent your usual hang-out spots, hanging out with your friends and the people you know, or maybe doing the same activities as you, they want you.

c. They notice every change in your person and compliment you often – Be it in person or on social media, they will be the first to comment if you’re losing weight, wearing a new perfume, a new suit or dress, or a new haircut. It’s as if you suddenly have your dedicated number-one fan.

2. They present themselves differently in your presence

In their quest to lead you to bed, they will take every step to make themselves appear desirable in your eyes.

They’ll put in great effort to impress you and sweep you off your feet with both appearance and endearing gestures.

a. The seducer will dress up and make an effort to improve their appearance – You’ll notice that your seducer will bring out the good stuff: fancy suits, nice haircuts, perfumes, and accessories. Female seducers in particular will wear sexy and revealing outfits to flaunt their assets. [Read: 26 signs a woman is secretly attracted to you even if she’s hiding it]

b. Obvious special treatment and favors from them – Seducers will make good use of special favors to endear themselves to you. They will offer to help you with your errands, buy you stuff, babysit pets, and offer you rides to different places. It is easy to fall into this trap, but remember that the seducer is “playing nice” because of an ulterior motive.

3. They play a game of catch and release

Catch and release is a form of manipulation where they will give you all the attention and sweetness that you crave then suddenly put a stop to it until you go through the withdrawal symptoms.

They’re making you feel like you’re missing all the attention to make you seek it later on. And without knowing it, you’ve fallen into their trap. [Read: How to tell if a guy is playing you – 40 signs he’s just using you]

4. The seducer puts you in a state of suspense

Just like the catch-and-release ploy, your time with the seducer is far from uneventful. You’ll experience periodic bursts of drama, emotion, and a little bit of romanticism, making it seem that your seducer is never boring.

You’ll always be in a situation where you’re second-guessing due to these little surprises. This is just a form of manipulation to keep you hooked on them.

5. Frequent physical contact

This will usually start with friendly touches such as high fives, hugs, and guiding touches on the shoulder or arm. This acclimatizes you to bolder and more intimate forms of touching.

People enjoy being touched by the ones they are friendly or familiar with. A seducer knows this fact. So, once their target is used to friendly touches, they will increase the frequency of touching and dare for sensual and intimate touches. [Read: Types of touches – the 36 physical touches we use and what they mean]

6. They always bring up sexual topics

In a normal conversation, it may be uncomfortable to bring up sexually-related topics at the get-go.

However, seducers casually and frequently insert sexually-charged topics in normal conversations. After all, that is their ultimate goal. Inserting sex topics is a way for them to implant a subliminal message of intent into their target’s mind.

a. They share a lot about their sexual encounters – A careful seducer will not ask you about your sex life. Instead, they will share unsolicited sexual information about themselves to decrease suspicion about their motives. It’s like saying that “I’m an open book when it comes to sex.” Next thing you know, you’ll be encouraged to share yours as well.

b. They ask a lot of sex questions – Once they see that their target is comfortable with discussing sex, their information-fishing will now begin. Seducers craftily ask questions by making them sound innocent with careful wording. But don’t be fooled—it is an obvious way of getting you in the mood for sex later on.

7. They isolate you

If you meet the seducer in a bar or at a party, they will always try to take you away from your friends. If you’re on friendly terms with your seducer, they come up with activities that end up as a “date.” Isolation is an important aspect of seduction because it keeps your attention on them alone.

8. They respond unfavorably to rejection

One way to differentiate a sincere romantic advance from an attempt at seduction is how the person responds to rejection.

By nature, seducers respond more negatively to rejection and often employ retaliatory measures if you foil their efforts.

On the other hand, sincere romantic advances are more understanding. They view the moment as the reward itself. [Read: Platonic relationship – what it is and 42 friendship rules to avoid sexual drama]

9. Repeated sexual advances

While in their “attack” phase, seducers can be relentless in their sexual advances. These may come in the form of sexually aggressive touching, frequent invitations to spend the night, and a sudden switch to sexual topics even if you’re in the middle of a neutral conversation.

By this point, you won’t need to know these signs to know if you’re being seduced because it’ll be blatantly obvious.

10. They appeal to your subconscious

By appealing to your subconscious, we mean that they’ll say what you want to hear. Subconsciously, we all want someone who will treat us well, sweep us off our feet with romantic gestures, and take care of us.

Even if you’re a hardcore, independent career-chaser, you have to admit that there is a soft spot within you for candle-lit dinners and sweet nothings whispered in your ear. A seducer is fully aware of this, and they’ll use this to their advantage.

They’ll talk about how they want to woo and spoil the girl of their dreams *as soon as she comes along*, how they have extravagant ideas about proposals and weddings and future homes.

As romantic as they pretend to be, it’s usually all just talk to get you into bed. So don’t fall for it. [Read: Chivalry is dead – what it means, the types of men, and why chivalry matters]

11. They’ll look at you funny

Not with a stink eye or with their tongue poking out at you, not that kind of funny. But they’ll have this dreamy, almost whimsical look in their eye that you know they wouldn’t look at their friends or family with.

Even in the early stages of seduction when they’re trying to just be your friend, you’ll know if they’re looking at you with that look.

So, trust your gut. You’re not making this up.

12. They’ll make weird excuses to touch you

We’ve covered how seducers will find ways to touch you as much as they can, but sometimes they won’t be as smooth as we’ve described.

Sometimes, they will literally just bump into you as you’re walking along, or pretend that there’s no room and they just have to walk arm-to-arm.

Whatever they have to do to establish that touch familiarity.

What to do if you think you’re being seduced

Well, that’s completely up to you. If you’re interested in them, then there’s no harm in reciprocating their interest and seeing where that leads you.

However, just know that the game of seduction is wildly different from regular dating. They’re going through all this effort to slowly acclimatize you to sexual advances from them because that’s all they want: sex.

So, if you’re interested in more than a FWB situation with this person, it’s best to cut all interaction with this person. They’re only after you for one thing and they’ll never be okay with just being friends.

[Read: How to deal with an overly flirtatious coworker]

Seduction may be a game of subtlety. If you learn how to know if you’re being seduced by keeping an eye on these signs, you can readily identify a person with ulterior motives in no time.