15 Signs He’s Fighting His Feelings For You & Holding Himself Back

Ever wondered if a guy likes you but is hiding it? Here are 15 signs he’s fighting his feelings for you when all he wants is for you to like him back.

Men can be stubborn creatures especially when it comes to showing their true feelings. In most situations, they will try to keep it cool when they’re in the immediate presence of the girl they’re enamored with, even if they’re struggling deep inside to maintain their composure. Despite this act, a boiling kettle will surely leak out steam at some point and there will be obvious signs he’s fighting his feelings for you, however hard he tries to conceal it.

When men fight their feelings, they will say one thing but their behavior will tell you the complete opposite. Therefore, determining his true intentions is possible by careful observation of his actions and body language as you won’t expect him to verbally reveal these feelings to you at the get go.

[Read: 16 signs a guy really likes you but is scared and unsure what to do]

Signs he’s fighting his feelings for you when he’s fallen hard already

By knowing how to read these signs he’s fighting his feelings for you, you’ll surely know that something is up and you’ll be able to address it with him later on.

#1 He’s awkward or stiff when you bump into him unexpectedly. Chance meetings will be a nightmare for him. It will be like an ambush happening at a time when he’s unprepared.

A quick assessment of how he looks, who he’s with, what he’s currently doing will make him jittery, raise his voice a pitch higher, and degrade his conversational skills into a stuttering mess. You’re left to wonder why he’s so anxious like he’s being questioned by the cops while on an average day he’s very poised and calm. [Read: Is he shy or just not interested? 15 signs to decode his behavior]

#2 Obsessive “Preening” behaviors. Like a bird with a potential mating partner in the immediate vicinity, he’s constantly adjusting his clothes, checking if every lock of hair is in its rightful place, and taking one final mirror selfie to check his overall appearance. He needs to look and act his best if he knows that you’ll be around him in a few minutes like an actor about to exit the backstage curtain.

#3 He’s more relaxed around you if he’s backed up with his friends. A man fighting his feelings for a girl will be a bit uncomfortable without a backup to fall back into if the target of his affections is near. Know that he does want to talk to you but is afraid to make the first approach for fear of screwing up or he wants to avoid making his intentions obvious. His guy friends will provide a comfortable retreat from where he’ll plan the best time to approach you to strike up a conversation. [Read: How to tell if someone likes you without asking them directly]

#4 He tends to downplay his connection with other women. He’s afraid to give the impression that he’s pursuing other women and would want you to think that he’s single and available. He will make sure to emphasize that a girl he was seen with the other day is just a friend, a co-worker, or a relative. [Read: Is he attracted to you? 16 signs that’ll tell the truth instantly]

#5 He’s quite the active fan in your social media. For him, watching you over the relative anonymity of social media is the safer option than interacting with you in person even if it will give a little bit of stalker vibes. However, it still won’t escape your attention due to the volume of “likes” and comments he’ll throw into your every post or photo. If in person, your social media activity may even be brought up as a topic of conversation.

#6 He will have these small bouts of jealousy when you hang out with unfamiliar guys. If you’re looking for signs he’s fighting his feelings for you especially if he tries to act indifferent in person, pay attention to his behavior when he sees you with other guys.

He won’t show or say anything about it but he’ll sure feel the pangs of jealousy if he learns that you’re spending some time with an unfamiliar guy. He’ll be overthinking the kind of relationship you have with the said guy and may even discreetly ask around on who the guy is. It may be the vestigial remnants of evolution but men can be territorial creatures who would be alarmed if another male enters the space of the target of his affections. [Read: 30 wicked ways to make a guy jealous and win his attention]

#7 You’ll notice a bout of boldness after his fit of jealousy. Surprisingly, he’ll have this phase of boldness and will show some rare initiative if he learns that there’s another man who’s also trying to capture your attention. Think of it as the competitiveness of rival males for their chosen mate displayed by animals.

He’ll probably step up on his dressing and grooming game, show up in your social space more often, be extra sweet and thoughtful, and overall be much more present in your life. [Read: How to get a shy guy to feel courageous and ask you out]

#8 He will display unusual hot and cold behavior. Hot and cold behavior is something you would expect women would tend to do more than men. But if the man is trying to fight his feelings, he may display this kind of behavior as well.

When faced with conflicting feelings, especially involving romantic attraction, men would retreat for some time alone to be able to rationalize and process their feelings. As your presence would derail his thoughts and emotions, he may cease communication and lie low until such a time he has a clear understanding of his own feelings.

#9 He’s very observant and takes note of the tiny details about you. Maybe it’s the result of his constant monitoring of your social media or it’s just his unconscious attraction clearing up space in his brain, one of the signs he’s fighting his feelings for you is his ability to remember the tiniest details that you won’t even remember yourself.

He will recall things as minor as cravings you had for a specific snack two weeks ago or even the serious stuff that you shared in confidence. Remember that men who are attracted to someone will pay attention to every little thing about their crush whether they are aware of it or not. [Read: 15 baby steps to help a shy guy open up and start flirting with you]

#10 He is very much interested in what you think of him. In all his careful advances and unconscious displays of affection, he still needs to know if there is even a chance that all of these made through to you. A slight mention of his efforts or the mere mention of his name in your conversations is well-anticipated as well as appreciated. He’s like a student who constantly seeks the approval of his favorite teacher, and this is a dead giveaway of his true feelings towards you.

#11 He’s visibly happy if he hears that you mentioned him in front of your friends. For him, you bringing up his name or anything he did in front of your common friends will be interpreted as a sign of your interest towards him and may even give him hope that he has a chance with you. Know that he’ll be smiling ear to ear and will have a good night’s sleep if he learns that you mentioned him in any of your social interactions. [Read: 16 signs he wants you bad and is irresistibly attracted to you]

#12 He unconsciously mentions you in conversations. In any given topic at any given time, your name will surely pop up if he’s the one talking. Without him noticing or realizing, he acts like that annoying proud Dad at work who provides all his co-workers with live updates of what his daughter is up to at the moment.

#13 He is extremely protective of you. He shadows you like a bodyguard, constantly checks how you’re doing, and makes himself available in case you need him. At first you’ll appreciate this sweet gesture but he may overdo it to the point of making you feel like someone under witness protection. Don’t take it against him though, it’s just his way of expressing those feelings he’s doing his best to ignore.

#14 He just can’t say no if you’re the one asking. In short, one of the clearest signs he’s fighting his feelings for you is if you are his weakness. Even if he’s the most uptight and humorless guy you know, he’ll agree to the silliest thing you’ll ask of him. He wants to be useful but at the same time, it’s his way of showing that he cares and that you can rely on him on just about anything. [Read: 12 science-backed clues to know if a guy is starting to fall for you]

#15 He tends to give out sweet gestures and words without him realizing. From sweet nothings, small presents that never fail to delight up to commendable displays of effort at his own expense, he sometimes acts like an honorary boyfriend and he doesn’t even realize it. As mentioned, he will take his feelings to the grave but it will show through his actions and behavior towards.

Men may seem impaired when it comes to verbally expressing their emotions. But when they start to feel genuine affection towards a woman, their silence is often inconsistent with their actions effectively betraying their true feelings to outside observers.

[Read: Does he have a crush on me? 20 signs to know the truth instantly]

If you see a few of these signs he’s fighting his feelings for you, the key is to give him time to process his feelings until such a time that he’s ready to make his move.