13 Things to Know Before Your First Relationship to Love Better

There are several things to know before your first relationship. These tips will help you navigate the dating world with a little more ease.

The dating world is a minefield, no doubt about it. If you learn how to navigate it correctly, you can actually get some enjoyment out of it, rather than constant confusion and panic. However, before you enter into your first relationship, you probably think you know all the things to know before your first relationship.

Here’s some advice—you haven’t got anything figured out. Actually, you have a lot to learn. The good news is that you’ll do so pretty quickly with experience.

[Read: The first relationship advice everybody wishes they got before the first date]

Things to know before your first relationship

By understanding these things to know before your first relationship, you’ll sidestep some of the heartache and confusion and go straight to the good stuff.

#1 Communication is key. It can be pretty awkward to have certain conversations with someone you really like and don’t want to scare off, but communication is one of the most important things in any relationship.

If you don’t feel comfortable with something, speak up. If you’re concerned about something, talk about it. And if you’re adult enough to be in a full-on relationship, you must communicate freely. Of course, that doesn’t mean having heavy “what are we” conversations too soon, but it does mean having the confidence to talk about important things. [Read: These are the big things that can doom a relationship]

#2 If you can’t trust them, they’re not for you. Many people have trust issues that have stemmed from former relationships and experiences. If you really feel you can’t trust this person, they’re not someone you should be in a relationship with. It’s really that simple.

Alongside communication, trust is one of the most important things in any relationship and without both, you’re lacking. [Read: Can a relationship without trust last?]

#3 Any type of control is never okay. One of the most important things to know before your first relationship is that any type of control isn’t okay. If you experience it, take action. If someone tries to coerce you, push you into something you don’t want to do, or control your actions or thoughts, it’s not healthy, it’s not love, and it’s not something you should put up with.

Many people falsely believe that control means the person cares. It doesn’t. It means the person is controlling. Why would you want to put up with that?

#4 It might not last and that’s okay. You’ll want them to be The One from the get-go, but they might not be. Sure enough, they might be too, but it’s important you don’t put all your eggs into one basket. Go with the flow, enjoy it, and simply see where it goes.

When you use that type of mind-set, you’ll learn to appreciate what you have and won’t think the world is ending just because your first relationship didn’t turn out to be a life-long commitment. That’s definitely one of the things to know before your first relationship. [Read: How to be patient in a new relationship and not risk your new love]

#5 Your self-worth and happiness doesn’t rely on this relationship. It’s easy to assume that this relationship is your everything. While it will seem that way, you should chill out a little and ensure that you continue to do the things you’ve always done. Your self-worth certainly doesn’t hinge on this relationship and neither does your happiness. This is a wonderful thing that’s happening in your relationship, but it’s not the only thing in your life.

#6 Love yourself as a first port of call. Of course, you care deeply about your partner, but you should always ensure that you focus on loving yourself first. By doing it, you’ll be able to stay confident, happy, and you’ll have more to offer your partner in the relationship too. It’s not possible to completely love another person if you don’t love yourself, and that’s a truth.

#7 Always remember to dedicate time to your friends. It’s super easy to focus your attention completely on your partner and let your friendships go by the wayside. Big mistake. One of the things to know before your first relationship is that your friends should always be an important part of your life. They deserve your time and attention, too. Make time for them, keep seeing them, and doing things together, no matter what. [Read: The qualities of a good friend you should pay attention to]

#8 Constantly pleasing your partner won’t make them want you or love you. Some people are manipulative and as much as nobody wants to end up in that situation, it’s a possibility. If your partner is always needy and constantly trying to get you to please them, take a step back.

You don’t have to keep doing things for someone to make them want you or love you. As a person, you’re enough. Don’t be a doormat.

#9 Don’t believe everything you hear, but don’t cast everything aside either. Social media can be a wonderful thing, but it can also be a pretty toxic thing. If you hear rumors about your partner, don’t simply believe them without question. However, don’t completely disregard them either. Be wary but not paranoid.

Sometimes rumors come your way, but it doesn’t mean they’re true. Social media can often be the root cause of it all. Remember that sometimes people just like to talk for no reason other than they’re bored. [Read: 20 important things and must-know lessons that can change your first relationship]

#10 Sometimes people turn out to be completely different. It’s heartbreaking when people don’t turn out to be how we pictured them to be or how we thought they were, but it’s a lesson learned. One of the things to know before your first relationship is that you can only deal with what is in front of you. You can’t blame yourself when something doesn’t work out. Go with the flow. If it works out, great; if it doesn’t, there are plenty more fish in the sea.

#11 You should always give a chance to those who aren’t your “type.” We all have a type, but don’t disregard anyone who doesn’t fit into your mold. How can you be sure that your The One isn’t someone who really isn’t what you picture? They might turn out to be the most wonderful person, so one of the things to know before your relationship is that types aren’t really worth anything! [Read: The 20 cutest, most adorably awkward moments in a new relationship]

#12 Always listen to your gut. If your gut is telling you that someone is up to something or they’re just no good, listen to it. When you first enter into a relationship, it can be easy to push warning sides away and focus on the positives. However, your gut is telling you something for a reason. If that nagging is always there in the background, it’s something you should explore. [Read: Here’s what you need to know how to listen to your gut]

#13 Don’t play games or tolerate them coming your way. While we all play the odd relationship game from time to time, they shouldn’t become commonplace in your relationship. There are harmless games, and there are manipulative games. If you want something, ask for it. If you’re worried about something, talk about it.

Games basically come down to poor communication. A constant cycle of game playing points towards a huge problem.

[Read: How your first love will affect your future relationships]

Out of these things to know before your first relationship, you’re probably already aware of some. But a full picture will help you navigate your first big relationship with ease.