13 Most Obvious Signs of a Cheating Spouse that are Easy to Miss

I hate to break it to you, but people cheat. What’s important is that you find out early the signs of a cheating spouse, so you can end things.

I want to say we live in a world where people who make a commitment stick to their word, but not all of them do. And it is really sad we need to become well-versed in the signs of a cheating spouse. When you’re in a relationship with someone, you assume they’re following the same rules as you, including being faithful.

The 13 most obvious signs of a cheating spouse

Once, when I was traveling, the guy I was dating cheated on me. I already knew he had before he even confessed to me. I don’t know if he was bored or emotionally disconnected, but he did what he did. It’s not a nice feeling, knowing that someone was dishonest towards you when you opened yourself up to them.

[Read: How to know if your lover is under another’s spell and falling into an affair]

Now, this doesn’t mean your partner is cheating on you. Just because they come home from work late one night doesn’t mean they’re sleeping with someone else. Usually, there is a common thread that flows between cheaters, one that you should keep an eye out for.

But, before you start pointing fingers and accusing your partner of cheating, gather some evidence and take a close look at their behavior. Look at the signs of a cheating spouse; that way, you know what you need to do next.

#1 You feel it. You weren’t born yesterday. Listen, no matter what anyone tells you, you have intuition. Yes, you should see the signs and gather evidence. But at the end of the day, you know when someone is acting shady towards you. If your gut is telling you they’re cheating on you, then you should listen to it. It doesn’t mean they’re cheating, but it means something isn’t right. [Read: Tempted to cheat? 15 real reasons why being faithful is so hard for most people]

#2 All of a sudden, they have new passwords. Not just on their phone, on all their devices. Strange, no? Why would they suddenly change their passwords? Well, unless they bought new devices recently, there’s no reason why. Listen, they don’t need to tell you their password, but if they never had a password and now suddenly do, that’s not good.

#3 The sex has changed. Your sex life has changed suddenly. It’s either you’re having more sex or less sex, but whatever is happening, it’s noticeable. It could be less sex because your partner is focused on pleasing someone else, or more sex because they either feel guilty or want to introduce to you new things in the bedroom. [Read: Why do people in happy relationships still cheat?]

#4 Sometimes, you can’t reach them. There are specific times of the day where you actually can’t get a hold of them. Whether you phone or text them, they don’t reply for a couple of hours. If someone is cheating on you, they’re going to be less available to answer your texts and calls. Makes sense, right? They’re busy with someone else.

#5 Their friends act weird. Their friends know they’re cheating on you. How could they hide that from everyone? Someone knows. Have you noticed their friends act differently around you? Maybe they avoid you or are acting unusually kind? They’re only doing this because they know something you don’t. [Read: 20 veiled signs your boyfriend is cheating on you already]

#6 The emotional connection fades. You used to tell each other everything, but your partner isn’t sharing much information with you anymore. And it’s usually because they share their feelings and thoughts with someone else. Why would they waste their time repeating these things twice? [Read: 15 signs your girlfriend is cheating on you and it’s time to confront her]

#7 They’re angry at you. They seem to be on edge when they’re around you, almost annoyed at your very presence. When someone is cheating, they put the blame on you. It’s one of the ways they can rationalize their actions. They make you feel like you’re the one to blame, but you haven’t done anything wrong. [Read: The reasons why cheaters just can’t help themselves]

#8 They’ve improved their appearance. All of a sudden, they’re out shopping and getting their hair done. You know, things they never did before. Of course, it could be a new-year-new-me mantra they’re following, or it could be because they want to please someone else. If they’re used to wearing rags and now sport Gucci watches and bags, something is up.

#9 Their schedule changes. They used to come home every day at five, but suddenly, they stay at work late, go on business trips during the week or weekend, or get stuck in a lot of traffic jams. And it’s just not adding up for you. They have an excuse for reasons why they’re not coming home on their usual schedule. [Read: 18 guaranteed ways to catch a cheater red handed in the act]

#10 They’re spending more money. But you don’t know where the money is going. You see credit card statements pile up, but you can’t seem to figure out what they’re spending money on. That’s easy. The money isn’t going to you; it’s going to someone else.

#11 They’re all over someone’s social media. You never took notice before of their social media, but now you’re noticing that they’ve been liking a particular person’s post a little too often. Maybe they even make comments on them, or you see them adding new people to their friends’ list, people you’ve never met before. 

#12 They never leave their phone. A normal couple wouldn’t care if their phones are left on the table or in the kitchen. But for your partner, they carry their phones everywhere they go. It never leaves their side. And that’s weird. Why can’t they trust you around their phone? [Read: 12 simple questions to ask yourself to know if you’re being lied to] 

#13 You confront, and they shift the blame. Maybe you’ve confronted them about the cheating, and if you have, good for you. But you didn’t get the answer you were looking for. Instead of confessing, they ignore or deflect the conversation away from them and on to you. Classic.

[Read: How to date with trust issues and learn to believe in people again]

If you experience quite a few of these signs of a cheating spouse, take a step back and evaluate your next step. What will you do?