12 Subtle Signs You’re a Lesbian or Leaning Towards the Same Sex

You’ve locked eyes with a couple of women, but you’re not sure how you feel. Lesbian? Bisexual? Well, it’s time to look at the signs you’re a lesbian.

When it comes to sexuality, it’s not always so obvious. Some of us go years struggling to find out what’s going on within ourselves. It’s not easy to figure out the signs you’re a lesbian.

You may have some moments with men where you think you’re straight, and then an encounter with a woman occurs. It makes you question how you’re really feeling. And this is completely normal.

Most of us, if not all of us, have thought about our sexuality. There were times where I wondered if I was straight or bisexual, and eventually, I figured my sexuality out. But it didn’t happen overnight. Plus, when it came to learning about myself, I didn’t have anyone to talk to. [Read: What you need to know about the different sexual orientations]

The subtle signs you’re a lesbian even if you don’t know it

The good thing here is you’re not alone. Sure, there’s not a one-size-fits-all test to figure out your sexuality, but there are some general signs that can help steer you in the right direction. Of course, if you read these signs and you’re still not sure, don’t worry. Sexuality isn’t something you can figure out overnight. Be patient—give yourself time to explore.

So, let’s get this show on the road. It’s time you knew the signs you’re a lesbian so you can self-reflect and think about how you feel when it comes to sexuality and attraction.

#1 You hooked up with a girl and liked it. You can still be a lesbian without having kissed a woman. But, if you’ve kissed a girl and you liked it, then that’s a great sign you’re attracted to women. Does it mean you’re a lesbian? No. It could also mean you’re bisexual. But it does mean you’re attracted to women to some extent. [Read: Do you understand what it means to be sexually fluid in the dating world?]

#2 You’ve questioned your sexuality. There are many times where you’ve asked yourself, “Am I a lesbian?” “Do I like women?” “Am I bisexual?” If you find yourself routinely questioning yourself, then it’s a strong sign you’re either a lesbian or bisexual. If you were completely straight, these questions wouldn’t continue to pop into your head.

#3 You’re turned on when reading/watching lesbian love stories. When you watch a lesbian romantic movie or read lesbian erotica, you’re highly aroused. You can feel something deep inside of you tingle, and you imagine yourself in their position. It’s almost as though you feel like you belong in that scenario. [Read: How to know if you’re a lesbian without asking around]

#4 If you do date men, they’re more feminine. The men you’ve dated in the past were never really overly masculine. They were all slightly feminine. Now, this doesn’t mean you’re a lesbian, you could just like that type of guy. However, many bisexual or lesbian women go through a stage where the men they date are more feminine than masculine.

#5 You see women everywhere. Women make up half the world’s population, so yes, women are literally everywhere. But this is different. When you walk down the street, all you see are women. While your friends are noticing guys, your eyes are set on the women. Unless you think about it, you don’t even notice you’re doing it. [Read: Am I lesbian or bisexual? How to understand your true desires]

#6 You’ve been in love with another woman. Again, it doesn’t mean you’re a lesbian. You could also be bisexual. But if you’ve been in love with another woman, it’s clear that you’re attracted to women. If you’re able to have a relationship with a woman, it means you’re capable of having another relationship again.

#7 When you’re on a date with a guy, you think about women. When you’re on a date with a guy, usually, you’re thinking about them. But your mind isn’t on them at all. Instead, you’re thinking about the girl you met last week that was into you. If you find yourself thinking about women more than men, it could mean you’re a bisexual or a lesbian. [Read: The secret signs of female bisexuality]

#8 You think about women sexually. When you meet a woman, you think about her in a sexual way. You wonder how she kisses, what she’s like in bed. These thoughts are normal and show that you’re probably either bisexual or a lesbian. Why else would you think about this? [Read: What it means to have a lesbian fantasy as a straight woman]

 #9 Your favorite website is Tumblr. When it comes to sexual exploration, Tumblr is the place to go. On Tumblr, you can see more lesbian pictures and clips than anywhere else. But if you’re on there, you already knew that.

#10 Your gut tells you. Deep down, you know what you are. Deep down, you know whether or not you like women. Of course, you may have fears and are worried about what your family will think; these things add up and weigh down your feelings. But if your gut is telling you that you’re attracted to women, then you are. There’s no reason to suppress these feelings because they’re completely natural.

#11 You can’t visualize dating a man. When you think about dating a man in your future, you’re not excited. If anything, you become sad. There’s something inside of you telling you it’s not right, and that’s because being with a man isn’t what you want. [Read: 15 lesbian dating apps for the newly out lez]

#12 You have a lot of platonic male friendships. When you look at your list of friends, many of them are male. Have you had sex with them? No. In fact, most of your male friendships are strictly platonic. They see you as one of the guys, and you don’t see them as anything but friends.

[Read: How to know if you’re a lesbian or just sexually curious]

Hopefully, these signs you’re a lesbian have helped point you in the right direction. Sexuality is fluid, so don’t worry if you feel you’re not a lesbian.